"emotionally disturbed"? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 12-04-2009, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
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where to start on this.... ok...my parents are having a horrible time with my 14 yr old brother. my mother was hysterical... she doesn't know what to do has no where to turn.

basically, he's over weights and gets picked on a lot at school for it. he has an explosive temper and cannot handle the teasing. after the complaints he made to the admin, they changed his classes (put him in a special needs class, he's NOT special needs) and basically put him on a similar schedule on the kid who was most of the cause of his problems. he exploded on this kid, basically beat him up really bad. the school kicked my brother out because they say he's a 'liability'....

he has other issues, of which he's done things to me, so i have not talked to him in almost a year now. (i was so disturbed by his actions i really don't want to go into it). the school system has to provide him with alternative schooling, which they suggested two different schools that deal with 'emotionally disturbed' children. he's been out of school for 3 weeks, and before he can get into the school he has to be tutored, which the school district is suppose to take care of, they are failing to provide him with a tutor because they 'only have one' who is 'busy with another student right now'.

basically, he's been sitting at home playing video games for the past 3 weeks waiting to go back to school. my mother has been trying to get him to see a psychiatrist, but she works until 5 and can not find one with night time appointments. my father has a lot of health issues, which may be some of the cause of his emotional problems.

i guess i'm looking for any resources or good leads to pass along to my mother.... she feels like a failure and blames herself for his problems... is there any one else with a teen who's going through or been there?
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#2 of 5 Old 12-04-2009, 10:52 PM
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In our community we have a youth mental health facility that does assessments into the evening hours maybe there is a similar facility or mental health clinic in your community. If you think your brother is a danger to himself or others you should take him to an emergency room. Good luck to your family.

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#3 of 5 Old 12-05-2009, 01:24 AM - Thread Starter
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so, there is more to the story.... he's the youngest of 5, i'm the oldest. me and the 2 older brothers (J&A) all moved across country over 3 years time. he really started showing problems after J left. J has since moved back about a year ago, his behavior slightly improved..... until he met a boy S who he started to pal around with. S has lots of problems (broken family, mother's never around or shows she cares, he has aggressive problems too) just over all, not a good mix. as he and S hung out more, the more trouble and problems he had.

a source i think may be his emotional problems is that over the past 6 years, my family has lost 4 close loved ones and 2 dogs, he didn't take any of the deaths very well, and after the 2nd dog died, he just closed up. he was about 8 when the first death occurred, so he had a good grasp on the concept of death, but he just never grasped how to deal with it *i think*.

he's been seeing a counselor through the community center for about a year, but they will only see him for 1/2 hr at a time and only once every other week. the counselors are not very well trained (according to my mother) and 'can't get anything out of him'.

i really just don't think he's a bad person, but there's just something wrong, something really wrong. he's usually so kind and always tries to make people laugh and loves animals. i always thought he was the kind of person who would never harm, but now i'm told about this different side.
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#4 of 5 Old 12-06-2009, 04:56 AM
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I dont have alot of time to post but a few things stick out in your original post.
In our school district kid with emotional problems are classified as special needs. They are put on IEP's and behavior plans. These kids are meeting with district psychologists, school counselors, many times they are in special classrooms where they cant hurt other students or themselves. Your brother may be suspsended, expelled, on school probation or something totally different.
Your mom needs to go to the school and find out what is going on. If she needs to take vacation time, sick time, FLMA time so be it, she needs to get answers. She also needs to get your brother some therapy ASAP. Again if she has private insurance for him they should be able to get her some names and numbers.

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#5 of 5 Old 12-08-2009, 07:33 PM
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Mama2Rio, I urge you to take your question over to the Special Needs Parenting forum. The parents there have a wealth of helpful information.

Under the Individuals with Disabilities Act (IDEA) your brother's school is obliged by law to provide him with a free, appropriate education.

(put him in a special needs class, he's NOT special needs) From what you describe it's obvious that your brother is troubled and needs help. If he was put into a special ed class then he might have been identified by a professional as needing the extra help, the extra resources that a special class can provide for him.

Your mom sounds seriously stressed but her son is quickly slipping through the cracks. She needs to take some time to meet with the school to find out what's going on.


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