Would it surprise you to see a 10-yo boy do these things? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 12:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Running along Pushing a toy monster truck on the beach?
Burying himself in the sand?
Digging tunnels in the beach sand?

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#2 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 12:18 AM
 
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Probably not unless you have some other concerns about the child.
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#3 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 12:36 AM
 
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No. I'm not even sure what you mean. Do you mean the child is too big to do this? I think parents are really worried about seeing their kid doing stuff that they are too old to do because they don't want them to be teased. Yet the line is really unclear on most stuff. I once insisting on carrying my favorite doll into the grocery store. I was probably 12 or 13 (still had no hit puberty though). The cashier told my grandmother "She's a pretty girl--but needs to lose the plastic kid"--it was so awful, because I already KNEW I was too big to have a doll with me in a store, and had only indulged in such a childish move because I was with my grandmother and knew she liked to baby me.

FWIW I don't think a ten year old playing in the sand at the beach is odd--grown ups go nuts when they see a beach, splashing, digging sandcastles--the beach just brings out the child in people.

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#4 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 12:44 AM
 
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Absent other issues, it sounds perfectly normal to me as well.

I am a little older than 10, and I dig tunnels and bury things in sand. I don't think there is an age restriction on having a good time at the beach. Different kids like to do different things. And if there was another child around, particularly a younger one, it's even more likely.

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#5 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 09:39 AM
 
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Sounds like fun, actually. What else should he be doing at the beach?
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#6 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 11:03 AM
 
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Nope not at all. We just visited the beach this summer and my 11 yo had an elaborate game going with his brothers that involved building a dam to a little cove and then making a tunnel down the side to try and create a new channel to the ocean. He and his brothers also buried each other. I'm not sure he would push a truck, but I bet if it fit into his game he would have. I confess to enjoying the sand myself. I'm curious, did someone tell you it was strange or imply he was too old?

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#7 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 11:06 AM
 
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Seems very normal to me. I have two boys.

Ten is still very young really.

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#8 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 11:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cavy View Post
Running along Pushing a toy monster truck on the beach?
Burying himself in the sand?
Digging tunnels in the beach sand?
no
no
no

I have done number 3 myself lately (on my own accord - no kids involved) and I am 37

I will now read the thread and see if why you were asking has been disclosed....
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#9 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 11:22 AM
 
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I think 10 is still a child in many way. That being said......

I don't think play is inappropriate at any age. I would not have an issue with a teen or adult playing at the beach - as long as they have other age appropriate interests as well. In fact I think it shows a certain carefreeness that I find quite appealing.

I don't think play is something we should leave behind when we hit a certain age.
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#10 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 11:44 AM
 
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This summer my sister's boyfriend (who is 28) was digging a pit in the sand and burying himself. *I* like doing the tunnels and rivers in the sand... and so did the kids that I used to work with when I worked at a summer camp (the counselors who were in their late teens got *really* involved), so, no those don't seem weird at all. The truck thing? Meh, I could see that fitting into the "game".

What *should* a 10 year old boy be doing at the beach, if not that?

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#11 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 11:45 AM
 
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Why???

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#12 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 12:54 PM
 
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I'm very curious to know why you are asking the question. Do you yourself think the behavior is inappropriate? Or did someone else think it was?

FTR, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Sounds like a great time, and I would much rather see a boy playing like that than warped out with a videogame.

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#13 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 01:04 PM
 
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No! Our 13 yr old male neighbour has spent an entire afternoon/evening at our home playing with my 5yr old and his toys. It's relaxing to play, no matter what age. I also thing the beach is a place where no matter what age you are, you are going to feel the urge to dig, bury or tunnel in the sand and search for shells.

Would love to know why you are asking.
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#14 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 01:13 PM
 
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My husband would still do that at the beach if he didn't worry about what people would think. My hubby couldn't wait until our son was born so he could buy him cool toys for our son and him to play with.
I think it's fine for a 10 yr old to play with those things. My son is 13 years old and likes to play with toys but sometimes won't do it if other friends are around. I think it's society that makes kids feel like they can't be childish sometimes.
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#15 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 01:44 PM
 
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No, it would not surprise me to see a ten year old do any of those things! I hope no one is giving you grief over your son playing?
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#16 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 03:16 PM
 
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None of that seems odd to me. I can remember burying my ex in the sand while we were still engaged - think we were about 18 and 19 or 19 and 20 or something like that. I still tend to dig tunnels on the rare occasions that I go to a beach, and I'm 41!

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#17 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 04:28 PM
 
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i never stopped doing those things at the beach.

i would assume that is what all/most people are doing at the beach
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#18 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 04:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dabble View Post
I'm very curious to know why you are asking the question. Do you yourself think the behavior is inappropriate? Or did someone else think it was?

FTR, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Sounds like a great time, and I would much rather see a boy playing like that than warped out with a videogame.
Exactly what I was thinking.
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#19 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 05:13 PM
 
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Sounds like a typical day at the beach to me... But then like tbone, I still do those things (except the monster truck thing cause we don't have one, but I so would. I think I know what I want to buy before we go camping next year.)

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#20 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 05:18 PM
 
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My dad and uncle still do that stuff at the beach. I do the latter two. DH would totally do that stuff, too, if he wasn't busy playing with the babies every time we go.

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#21 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oops! Sorry I took a while 2 return.
Thanks 4 replies.
DS has been playing as described & I think it's entirely normal too -- my DH is right in there with him, too. Building big bunkers in the sand and dams, etc.

But two of my relatives have expressed surprise about DS (not criticism, just surprise). And I am surprised that they should be surprised.

We live in the UK & are visiting California where I grew up; maybe I am just a lot better at filtering out inappropriate influences at home, but I'm feeling like the pressures on kids 2 grow up 2 fast are much worse here in the USA -- maybe my own mistake 4 letting DC watch Cartoon Network most mornings .

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#22 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 06:11 PM
 
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Sounds like those relatives need a lesson on enjoying the simple things in life.

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#23 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 06:58 PM
 
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I live in the US and have an enormous extended family. From toddler, through middle childhood into adulthood, we all play on the beach when we have the chance.

Even the ones who visit the California beaches from Utah.

Silly relatives.
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#24 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 07:07 PM
 
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Sounds like completely normal 10 yr old boy stuff to me... I have several friends with boys around that age.

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#25 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 07:14 PM
 
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Do the relatives think it's inappropriate? Or, are they just surprised, because they're surrounded by jaded 10 year olds who never go outside, think that having fun is "kid's stuff" and don't want to be away from their Nintendos? I remember a few of ds1's friends getting like that around that age. I was so glad that ds1 kept his...zest.

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#26 of 30 Old 12-10-2009, 11:16 PM
 
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My son will be twelve next month and he plays like this every day. I'd rather he were pushing a monster truck than driving one with a joy stick in a video game. Perfectly normal IMO.
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#27 of 30 Old 12-11-2009, 12:59 PM
 
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Considering that yesterday, my 6th grade dd and her two best buds (boys) were out in the snow, burying themselves, digging tunnels, sling-shooting old barbie dolls and other toys, and alternately pretending to be at war with zombies with pretending to be rabid squirrels trying to take over the world...no, I don't think this is inappropriate behavior at all.

Perhaps your relatives aren't used to children of that age. If they are, then they're just trying to get your goat. Don't worry about it.

And FYI, it doesn't change. My dh and his brother (37 and 40 at the time) spent two hours one thanksgiving kicking the soccer ball at each other, trying to drill each other in the chest and knock the wind out of each other. DH had a bruise the next day. Last thanksgiving on a big long walk they and their 64 year old father kicked osage oranges at each other and the kids (they called it bowling with monkey brains--with the osage oranges being the balls and the kids being the pins) for the entire 3 mile walk. Then there was a contest to see who could throw the farthest and the most accurately, nailing the "monkey brains" into trees. One year there was an epic snow ball fight that left more than one grandchild in tears and ended with the two of them outside throwing snowballs at each other long after we were all inside drinking hot chocolate. Croquet at our family get togethers is a contact, intense event. Fingers have been smashed, noses have been bloodied (though that was from chasing each other around, and someone tripped over a wicket. They aren't your stereotypical standard american dudes--they're organic farmers/stay at home dad types. But they are male AND brothers, and this is just what some *normal* boys of ALL ages do.
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#28 of 30 Old 12-12-2009, 10:16 AM
 
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Are they surprised that he is doing those things or that they are the only things he's doing?

My 10 year old would happily do the things you listed, but if he were at the beach in weather that allowed for swimming, he's also body surf or boogie board for hours. Then, when I called him back and asked him to do something quieter for a while (because i worry about him pushing himself to the point of exhaustion and drowning in the surf) he'd do those thing you listed.

A 10 year old from California, with way more access to the beach might enjoy the things you mentioned, but might also have other interests/skills such as surfing that a child who lives elsewhere might not have. This wouldn't be a sign that one kid is more grown up, or has been pressured to grown up, just that kids develop skills with what's around them.

Similarly, my 10 year old cousins would come up and visit from Texas when I was a kid, and if it snows they'd want to play in the snow doing similar. My 10 year old is happy to do those things too, but his first question if it snows would be "can we go snowboarding", because he's had enough snow exposure, to 1) get over the novelty a little and 2) to develop some pretty awesome snowboarding skills.
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#29 of 30 Old 12-12-2009, 10:52 AM
 
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I don't know, some people just have wierd expectations, either because their children were/are different or they are not used to kids being, well, kids. And, like other PPs, I would do most of those things at the beach by myself, even without DD (OK, maybe not the truck)...same in the snow or fall leaves...sand, snow and fall leaves are the perfect opportunity for some sensory-seeking joy and kid-in-all-of-us fun! And a 10yo IS a kid that should be enjoying similar play! I would be wondering more about the 10yo that did not think any of that was fun...

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#30 of 30 Old 12-13-2009, 10:54 PM
 
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Sounds normal to me. Just be glad he is running a truck through the sand instead of trying to sneak a ciggarette or something. I'd much rather him act like a kid. Most people now days think that 10 year olds should be acting like teens, they're really young children.
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