Join Date: Feb 2006
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A few questions as I sort out where I stand.....
when can kids have a sip or two of alcohal? When they turn 21, that is if you're asking for my preference. I don't believe they'll necessarily wait, but it won't be happening in my house. I'm a non drinker.
when can kids have a serving of alcohal? (one beer, regular amount of wine, etc) If you allow a serving - How often would be OK with you?At the age of 21. If we were religious and used wine during dinner in some sort of tradition I'd probably allow a smidge, but I can't be sure.
When (assuming you have say in this - hahaha!) is it OK for teens to get tipsy or drunk? I don't think it's ok for TEENS to get drunk/tipsy. Factor in hormones, undeveloped brains and decision making skills- adding alcohol is a recipe for disaster/death/rape.
Most people I know fall onto one of two sides (see below), which are you, why, and is age a factor? I guess I'm in the alcohol is bad group. I don't tell my kids drinking is "wrong" or anything, but the discussions we've had to have all revolve around negatives. I only know a handful of people that drink "responsibly" and even with those there's been situations where they've regretted their actions while "responsibly" drinking. So for my kids I've explained the DNA that they have, alcoholism, and how it has ruined many of their relatives lives. (These are facts that I couldn't sheild them from unfortunately.) We've explained drinking in moderation, and how some people enjoy wine/beer with dinner, or on a special occasion. I just don't drink, not to make some big display of sobriety, I just don't drink.
1. Teen may not get drunk in my prescence. I don't think it is a good idea for xyz reasons so I am not going to allow it. This is definitely the side I'm on.
2. Teens will get drunk - it is safer that they do it in my prescence than away from me. Have fun in jail is my opinion on this.
Thanks in advance!
|This is undoubtably true (althoug a little alarmist sounding). I also read somewhere that people who start drinking in their teens are more likely to be alcohlics than those who start later on. I am not sure why - is it an addiction persoanlity that causes them to seek alcohol early - or does alcohal do something to synapses in young brains? Translation: does drinking the alcohol early on trigger something physcially? Or would those who drunk early on anyways be just as likely to be alcoholics?|
One thing you said caught my eye:
"I don't think it's ok for TEENS to get drunk/tipsy. Factor in hormones, undeveloped brains and decision making skills- adding alcohol is a recipe for disaster/death/rape."
This is undoubtably true (althoug a little alarmist sounding). I also read somewhere that people who start drinking in their teens are more likely to be alcohlics than those who start later on. I am not sure why - is it an addiction persoanlity that causes them to seek alcohol early - or does alcohal do something to synapses in young brains? Translation: does drinking the alcohol early on trigger something physcially? Or would those who drunk early on anyways be just as likely to be alcoholics?
Tipsy or drunk? Honestly I don't think any one should really drink to the point of getting drunk. If you are drinking that much, it's not responsable drinking IMO.
I probably should have said "tipsy" instead of tipsy/drunk.
I do not see a problem with an adult getting a bit of an alochal buzz if they do so infrequently in a safe way.
I do not think anyone should drink so much they are a hazard to themselves or others, or irresponsible.
Agreed, also agree with Musician Dad. It's just hard because this controlled drinking just isn't something I've been exposed to.
I hear about it, and I know it exists, it's just I guess not happening within my own family.
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
I let them drink at home and didn't forbid them to drink outside the home either. Their underage friends were not supposed to drink at our place though -..... I think my attitude is more in line with the European attitude, where their kids are brought up having wine with dinner and such.
but everything has pros and cons
I was curious if anyone else had a similar experience as a teen with their parents.
My mom by time I was a senior in high school knew me well enough and knew I was honest enough with her to tell her if I was drinking, which I was at points, parties etc. I would call her and tell her I wasn't going to be home that night because I was at Ys house (never lied about that) and had a few drinks so I didn't want to drive.
She wasn't thrilled and didn't let me drink in the house although I could have a glass of wine with dinner or in the evening with her if I wanted. She just knew because we had worked up to the point where we were both comfortable being honest and I swear I once even called her to pick me up when I was drunk. You know the old "you can always call me". I guess I feel lucky that she wouldn't come down hard on me because she knew I wasn't being an idiot about it. IMO I am hopeful to have the same kind of relationship with my DD when she is a teen because I feel like it kept me out of more trouble than I might have been.
Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids.