DH overheard neighbor girl discussing drugs - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-13-2009, 01:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DH was outside a few nights ago after 11pm and saw a neighbor girl, and 8th grader, there with about 6 of her friends. They were being so loud and disruptive that several of the other neighbors repeatedly came out to ask them to be quiet. DH said he heard one of the kids say “I took ecstasy, that’s why I’m acting like this,” but he didn’t hear which child said it. Ecstasy is a concoction of drugs that usually contains MDMA or MDA and often contains methamphetamine to make it cheaper (I know this because I once had a roommate that was a former hard core drug addict.) I’m not sure how I would talk to the parents about this. Just because the kids were talking about doing drugs doesn’t mean they actually were. Maybe they were just trying to be cool. What would you do?

By the way, my kids are only 2 so I don't have much experience with this age. The neighbors also have 4 and 1 year olds, so I could invite the mom over for a toddler playgroup to start the discussion, but what to say?


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Old 12-13-2009, 01:14 PM
 
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My approach, and what I would most want to hear about my own kids, would be to just be straight up and honest: "My dp heard your daughter outside talking with her friends and one of them mentioned she had taken ecstasy." It's not an accusation, just like a head's up to mom. If nothing else, someone should tell these kids to watch what they say in public in their own neighborhood.

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Old 12-13-2009, 01:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have even been wondering if I should contact the school district to let them know this could be going on in their school. Where would an 8th grader get ecstasy?
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Old 12-13-2009, 01:24 PM
 
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Uh, anywhere. I would not call the school, no.

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Old 12-13-2009, 01:54 PM
 
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The sad reality over here is that a good percentage of high school kids take drugs, and I'm sure it starts in the middle school. DSD's been offered to join in a few times. She says many of her "friends" do drugs, so it's not unusual, and it's not uncommon.

I would mention it to the neighbor, and would hope that the parents wouldn't freak out, but use it as a discussion point.

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Old 12-14-2009, 03:47 AM
 
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I wouldn't contact any school. If they know about it there is nothing they can do unless one of the kids is caught with it anyway.

It isn't THAT hard to get ecstasy or any other drug for that matter these days. Teens are a huge target audience as is and it circulates very well. As your DH said he doesn't know exactly which child said it. Personally, it isn't something I myself would pry into.
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Old 12-14-2009, 03:51 AM
 
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Yeah not so hard to find drugs in 8th grade

I'd tell the Mom in a non-accusing way...

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Old 12-15-2009, 06:53 PM
 
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Even though I didn't do drugs at that time, I knew where to get pot, acid and mushrooms in 7th grade (elementary school - our system is K-7, then 8-12). By 9th grade, I could have picked up pretty much any drug I wanted, either at school, or with a quick phone call from home. I was born in 1968, so this was right around 1980. They've never been that hard to obtain.

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Old 12-15-2009, 08:05 PM
 
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I'm torn about this one. First of all, I definitely don't think calling the school would help- they are surely already aware. Drugs are very easy for kids to get and are everywhere. Kids my daughter's age started abusing cough syrup in 6th grade and there was a definite party crowd by 8th grade - at our "safe" parochial school.

On the one hand, if you inform the girls parents about what you overheard, and are not certain who said what, you could set the girl up for years of misery. My own parents would have taken the "you'll never see the light of day again!" approach, even though I was completely innocent.

On the other hand, I did inform my neighbors that their son was drinking beer and throwing the empties under our porch when he was 13. They refused to believe it of their good boy and ignored my information and many of his behaviors. He is currently homeless and with a crippling alcohol dependency, has been in and out of rehab twice. They did apologize and tell me that they wished they had listened, that maybe they could have done something to prevent this.
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Old 12-15-2009, 08:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by twinergy View Post
I have even been wondering if I should contact the school district to let them know this could be going on in their school.?
Yes, I'm sure it will be total news to them
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:10 PM
 
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What if the kid was lying? My friend and I used to get pretty loud when we were together, I remember that I used to say to people that I took drugs that's why I was being loud. I was joking.

Just saying.

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Old 12-15-2009, 11:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, I guess I must have been totally oblivious of this in jr high school, good to know for when my kids get older. I don't think the parents would be the type to over react, they live in Portland, OR, drive a VW Beatle and listen to music like Smashing Pumpkins and Daft Punk. They also seem very liberal and give their teen lots of responsiblily and room to make her own decisions. I tried going over there today, but nobody was home.
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What if the kid was lying? My friend and I used to get pretty loud when we were together, I remember that I used to say to people that I took drugs that's why I was being loud. I was joking.

Just saying.
I thought about this and will definately point it out to the neighbor mom.
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Old 12-16-2009, 12:15 AM
 
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What if the kid was lying? My friend and I used to get pretty loud when we were together, I remember that I used to say to people that I took drugs that's why I was being loud. I was joking.

Just saying.
I would say it doesn't matter. A parent should still be contacted. Whether anything happens after that is up to the parent. My parents would have made sure I wasn't actually on drugs and then we'd probably have had a talk on why you shouldn't say stuff like that, you can get in big trouble, etc.

Of course, I never knew where to get drugs as a kid and still don't. Drugs are easy to obtain? Really? Huh.

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Old 12-16-2009, 03:52 AM
 
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My parents would have made sure I wasn't actually on drugs...
How?

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Of course, I never knew where to get drugs as a kid and still don't. Drugs are easy to obtain? Really? Huh.
I don't know now, but I'm quite sure I could find out in under an hour, if I wanted them. Finding them when I was a teenager was a snap - I once saw a guy buy some weed in Socials class - they waited until the teacher's back was turned, one guy tossed the baggie, the other guy tossed some money, and they sat back down.

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Old 12-18-2009, 06:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I talked with the neighbor dad and he was happy I told him. He also said that their DD had already informed them that some of her friends recently started doing drugs so she has consequently started disassociating with them. What a difficult lesson to learn so young.
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:10 AM
 
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Even though I didn't do drugs at that time, I knew where to get pot, acid and mushrooms in 7th grade (elementary school - our system is K-7, then 8-12). By 9th grade, I could have picked up pretty much any drug I wanted, either at school, or with a quick phone call from home. I was born in 1968, so this was right around 1980. They've never been that hard to obtain.
Same when I was in school, mid-late 90's (born in 83). Yes, the school knows this.

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