Pregnant 13 y.o. / UPDATE post 41 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 64 Old 02-26-2010, 02:29 PM
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Originally Posted by MeepyCat View Post
I disagree with this too.

I think its reasonable for a child to decline to be a source of support for a person who stresses her out and involves her in issues that she doesn't feel ready or able to deal with. I can see how that sucks from the other side, but it's an appropriate and reasonable choice for a person to make.

Staying friends would also be an appropriate and reasonable choice, if that's what the OP's DD wanted to do, but if she doesn't want to, she shouldn't be encouraged to invest energy in the relationship in the name of compassion.

I'm an adult, with a ton of resources, and even I have limits. I've let friendships drop because the people involved were too needy and the relationship required more than I had available to give.
YES!!! As a parent I want my kid to be a kid.

Heather, mama to Harriet, Crispin, in with Tom and 2
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#62 of 64 Old 02-26-2010, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by harrietsmama View Post
YES!!! As a parent I want my kid to be a kid.
I want my kid to be a kid too. A kid with compassion who works to help others.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#63 of 64 Old 02-27-2010, 11:53 AM
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You mean by getting her in touch with an adult who will help her work through what and how to tell her parents? Who will get her a pregnancy test? (Ah 13 year olds, convinced no one will ever know they've had sex, but scared to buy a pregnancy test because everyone will know. Sigh...)

You mean like that?

Or do you mean having compassion like all the people in personal growth who've had to cut off friendships after draining their energy time and resources? Relationships built on one person being needy are a horrible idea and not helpful to either person.

Plus, the OP's dd is still part of a social circle that the girl is in. So they'll still see each other, but just not hang out alone.
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#64 of 64 Old 02-27-2010, 12:02 PM
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And why on earth wouldn't a menstruating female want sex? Puberty means that the body is ready for intercourse. And has the relevant hormones driving that impulse.

Sure, it's probably a troubled teenager who acts on those impulses, but that's because un-troubled teenagers are more likely to conform to societal norms, not because they don't have the same urges.

Rather than saying it's bad for a 13 year old to want sexual expression, how about helping them find a safe outlet? In our day and age, it isn't safe to get needs met through intercourse because we aren't set up for families with 13 and 14 year old parents.

Imagine21, my vote is that you follow the advice given in the other thread and give your dd the book "Our Bodies, Ourselves" and a vibrator. And make it something that could be a neck massager or the like.
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