I did a search and read a lot of opinions on this here
Background: DSS is with us half time, he is with his mom the other half. Says he doesn't wet the bed often at his mom's but we do have a problem with him lying about the other home. He says that sometimes his mom wakes him up 3x a night, which seems crazy to us, if she's been doing that for a long time it seems it would be habit by now? I think it only happened for one week or maybe just one night to be honest. He had never worn pull-ups with her because they made fun of them and said he was wearing diapers.
I wonder sometimes if we have been too accepting, or too lax about this, we have tried really hard to keep him from feeling shameful or guilty about this. But, DSS doesn't care he wets the bed, at all. He's not embarassed by it at all, doesn't care if it happens at a friend's house. We were driving in a snow storm once and had to stop at a hotel for the night, with no extra clothes, he wet them and didn't care at all, was just playing with his cousins (who thought it was really gross) as if he was wearing normal clean clothes. We just had to drive the rest of the way home this way with him wrapped in/sitting on a blanket.
We gave up on pull-ups, or gave him the choice because he was hiding them in his room (wet!!) for some reason and his room smelled really, really bad...and we ended up having to give him consequences constantly for doing this. It was a constant struggle. So now he just changes his sheets in the morning and often at night when we wake him up. It's not hard to wake him up, but he sleeps very deep. Now we have a problem with him changing his sheets correctly, before bed last night he made his bed and just threw the waterpoof pad under his sheets, folded! So it did nothing! I guess he thought we wouldn't notice.
Last night he wet the bed only two hours after going to bed. Then again at least once during the night. A wet bed does not wake him, he will just sleep in it, most the time I think he wets many times.
I don't really think waking him helps, we can wake him and an hour later he will wet again, and no, he doesn't drink a lot after dinner, and always goes before bed. None of these things seem to matter. He's only dry about once or twice a month (which is about two weeks with us).
We are at a loss, should we go back to pull-ups or buy an alarm? I know the pull-ups would help with the sheets and destruction of the mattress, but would an alarm be a better choice or do we just wait for him to outgrow this? I think he is open to either but really doesn't seem to care.
This has been very frustrating, trying to strike a balance between making him take responsibility (as in making the bed right, throwing the pull-up in the TRASH) and not making him feel bad. We just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like we have tried everything but the alarm or meds.
Background: DSS is with us half time, he is with his mom the other half. Says he doesn't wet the bed often at his mom's but we do have a problem with him lying about the other home. He says that sometimes his mom wakes him up 3x a night, which seems crazy to us, if she's been doing that for a long time it seems it would be habit by now? I think it only happened for one week or maybe just one night to be honest. He had never worn pull-ups with her because they made fun of them and said he was wearing diapers.
I wonder sometimes if we have been too accepting, or too lax about this, we have tried really hard to keep him from feeling shameful or guilty about this. But, DSS doesn't care he wets the bed, at all. He's not embarassed by it at all, doesn't care if it happens at a friend's house. We were driving in a snow storm once and had to stop at a hotel for the night, with no extra clothes, he wet them and didn't care at all, was just playing with his cousins (who thought it was really gross) as if he was wearing normal clean clothes. We just had to drive the rest of the way home this way with him wrapped in/sitting on a blanket.
We gave up on pull-ups, or gave him the choice because he was hiding them in his room (wet!!) for some reason and his room smelled really, really bad...and we ended up having to give him consequences constantly for doing this. It was a constant struggle. So now he just changes his sheets in the morning and often at night when we wake him up. It's not hard to wake him up, but he sleeps very deep. Now we have a problem with him changing his sheets correctly, before bed last night he made his bed and just threw the waterpoof pad under his sheets, folded! So it did nothing! I guess he thought we wouldn't notice.
Last night he wet the bed only two hours after going to bed. Then again at least once during the night. A wet bed does not wake him, he will just sleep in it, most the time I think he wets many times.
I don't really think waking him helps, we can wake him and an hour later he will wet again, and no, he doesn't drink a lot after dinner, and always goes before bed. None of these things seem to matter. He's only dry about once or twice a month (which is about two weeks with us).
We are at a loss, should we go back to pull-ups or buy an alarm? I know the pull-ups would help with the sheets and destruction of the mattress, but would an alarm be a better choice or do we just wait for him to outgrow this? I think he is open to either but really doesn't seem to care.
This has been very frustrating, trying to strike a balance between making him take responsibility (as in making the bed right, throwing the pull-up in the TRASH) and not making him feel bad. We just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like we have tried everything but the alarm or meds.