My 10 yo DD asked me if she could shave - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 59 Old 03-26-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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I wasnt allowed to shave until I was around 15y and at that point I went behind mom's back and did it.
lol! I also went behind my mom's back. I was 12 though. I remember she didn't want me to. She said "once you start you will never be able to stop!" lol.

I was really embarrassed once other girls in my gym class started shaving. I would wear long pants.

Now that I am a mom, I can understand your hesitation. However when I look back and remember how I felt as a 12 year old- I would want to spare my daughter that feeling somehow! So I think I would let my daughter shave.
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#32 of 59 Old 03-26-2010, 10:22 PM
 
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I think my concern is because, well, my dd is quite, ah... well, not graceful. I'm seriously worried she is going to bleed to death in the tub. Ok, maybe not that much, but I think it could get very ugly. So, what is a 'safe' razor? Any razor I've ever had can make me bleed. How does one give instruction on how to do it? I just learned on my own, my mom never taught me. I'm not against it, per se, but I am against her totally slashing her legs... if that makes sense. I think it is more the fear of her hurting herself, because she really has no idea how to not hurt herself doing fairly normal things.

I was SUPER hairy and my mom wouldn't let me shave...I'm still trying to figure out why...in my case it wasn't a clumsy thing. I did it while away at camp when she had no say in the matter.

If you're concerned about bleeding, would you consider either taking her in for a wax or helping her do it at home?

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#33 of 59 Old 03-26-2010, 11:53 PM
 
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For me my mom bought me a non cheap razor. I just can't do cheap ones without hacking up my legs. I had the Gillette with the grippy flat looking handle to start out with.

To teach her why not make it fun where you shave your legs with her and so she can learn from example. My Mary Kay rep would have what she called "hairy legs party" and a bunch of us girls would all get together to try out the mary kay body line. So you could do the same concept make it a fun mother daughter type deal.
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#34 of 59 Old 04-02-2010, 07:49 PM
 
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I was feeling the same way about my 10 almost 11yr old then I read this thread and thought--why am I not letting her? She really does have hairy legs, she has for her whole life. As she's getting older I guess she is getting a bit more aware of it and wants it gone. She's asked me several times about it and I told her maybe when she's 11 but again, after reading your comments I bought her some razors and shave gel and surprised her. We shaved last Wed. I did one leg and she did the other. She thought that is was great. She can not stop feeling her legs! So--I'm having to learn how to slowly let go
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#35 of 59 Old 04-11-2010, 03:48 PM
 
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For me my mom bought me a non cheap razor. I just can't do cheap ones without hacking up my legs.
: Especially not the "for women" ones. If it comes in a plastic bag with any kind of pink, run away.

Very much not at the point of having a dd who needs/wants to shave, but dh and I have found it helpful to use the same style of razor so we can buy refills in bulk for less. (He goes through about 5 blades a month, I go through 1, )
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#36 of 59 Old 04-13-2010, 05:42 PM
 
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If my DD wanted to I would let her but may get her a electric so she doesn't cut herself. I figure it is her body and if she want's to it is her choice.

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#37 of 59 Old 04-20-2010, 02:30 PM
 
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I don't see what the big deal is. Both of my girls started shaving around 10 (they are now 12 & 14). My oldest just came out and asked me one night - I sat down and "helped" her the first time. My youngest got the older sister to help her and just told me about the next day.

I bought them an electric razor, but both of them hate it - they say it doesn't give them "smooth legs" like using a razor. We tried Nair - but they both say that it burns and don't like it.
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#38 of 59 Old 04-20-2010, 04:06 PM
 
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If you're concerned about bleeding, would you consider either taking her in for a wax or helping her do it at home?
I'm an esthetician and wouldn't feel comfortable doing a leg wax on a 10 year old.

Why not buy her a Venus razor (the best and most safe IMO) and some nice shaving gel or cream and show her how? Make this about her being able to trust you. She's growing up. It's time. Just be there to guide her and she will blossom right in front of your eyes.

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#39 of 59 Old 04-27-2010, 10:15 AM
 
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I had the opposite problem. DD is almost 12 and her friends and I finally got her to start removing her armpit hair a few months ago. She is a ballet dancer and lets just say it looked like she had a baby mouse under her arms. But it would come and go shorter and longer - even as she would not talk to me about it but must have been talking to them. I finally asked her straight out ...she was trimming it with scissors! lol

I asked her why and she said her friends at school were telling her it was time but she didn't want to shave. So she finally talked about it with me and said her friends told her to use nair. So that is what she does for now.

She is a true blond with golden skin so the hair on her legs while there, is very pale so no reason to shave it.
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#40 of 59 Old 04-27-2010, 10:21 PM
 
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I'm an esthetician and wouldn't feel comfortable doing a leg wax on a 10 year old.
Why? Because of the pain factor? I'd think you could do one strip and then let her decide whether to finish. With a kid, you'd only be going from the knee down and calves aren't very sensitive.
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#41 of 59 Old 04-30-2010, 04:14 PM
 
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My mother wouldn't let me shave until I was 13, and I suffered some humiliation and embarrassment as a result. If she wants to, I'd let her. I'd sit down with her and help her learn to do it. And I think waxing is fine, too, if she wants to try it. As for the cutting herself-- I wouldn't worry too much. She'll work out how to do it, and the cuts heal.

I wouldn't tell a girl she had to shave if she didn't want to or wasn't ready, but I wouldn't stop a girl that wanted to, either.

I'm anticipating this issue with my oldest. She has been blessed with quite a pelt and I would imagine that in five years or so she's going to be looking to get rid of some of it. I myself only shave sporadically, now-- only in the summer, and then not consistently. I don't want her to be afraid to bring the subject up with me, though, so when I do shave, I always explain what I'm doing and why.

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#42 of 59 Old 04-30-2010, 04:48 PM
 
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My daughter is eight and was really unhappy about the dark hair on her legs. I didn't want her to start shaving because once you start you're stuck, unless you want to go through the messy and nasty-feeling stubble stage. Plus, it's all too easy to get razor burn.

So I got her some Nair -- works like a charm, and if she gets tired of it/doesn't bother with upkeep, it grows back soft instead of sharp and stubbly (because you aren't cutting across the hair). I use it in my bikini area -- neither of us has reacted to it at all (itching, rash, burning) and we both have ridiculously sensitive skin. You do need to do a patch test, just to be safe.
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#43 of 59 Old 04-30-2010, 04:55 PM
 
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Not sure what the OP ended up deciding, but I would also recommend an electric razor. There is no risk of cutting, and they sell them as cheap as $12 (though, I would buy a nicer one if she is going to shave regularly).

My DD is 9, and hasn't shown any interest what-so-ever for shaving her legs... but when she does, I will be okay with it. It's her body, and I never got why it was a big deal to some parents.

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#44 of 59 Old 05-10-2010, 03:18 PM
 
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DD started off with an electric razor for about a year. She recently asked me if she could use a real razor, so I showed her how & gave her pointers about doing her ankles & knees. She did really well!

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#45 of 59 Old 06-20-2010, 11:38 AM
 
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I would teach her to wax her legs. Shaving and Nair just make the hair more coarse. Waxing pulls that hair out by the root so that each time you wax the hair has to regenerate and it becomes finer. Over the years she will have less hair probably, too. My daughter is 12 and we wax her underarms and legs for those reasons.

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#46 of 59 Old 06-20-2010, 02:01 PM
 
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I would teach her to wax her legs. Shaving and Nair just make the hair more coarse. Waxing pulls that hair out by the root so that each time you wax the hair has to regenerate and it becomes finer. Over the years she will have less hair probably, too. My daughter is 12 and we wax her underarms and legs for those reasons.
I'm confused because my electrologist told me the exact opposite of this. She said that pulling hair out by the root makes it grow back coarser and coarser because it changes the root shape, and the hair tries to get a better toe-hold so it won't be uprooted again.

I think it only seems like waxing makes hair finer because the hairs are each on a different growing schedule so they don't all come back at once. Have you ever gone at least 3 or 4 months without waxing or removing the hairs in any way to give all the hairs a chance to get back to their natural state and see if it still seems finer?
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#47 of 59 Old 06-20-2010, 02:09 PM
 
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I think my concern is because, well, my dd is quite, ah... well, not graceful. I'm seriously worried she is going to bleed to death in the tub. Ok, maybe not that much, but I think it could get very ugly. So, what is a 'safe' razor? Any razor I've ever had can make me bleed. How does one give instruction on how to do it? I just learned on my own, my mom never taught me. I'm not against it, per se, but I am against her totally slashing her legs... if that makes sense. I think it is more the fear of her hurting herself, because she really has no idea how to not hurt herself doing fairly normal things.
She might have a bloody slash or two but she will figure it out. She won't bleed to death.
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#48 of 59 Old 06-20-2010, 02:12 PM
 
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There's only so badly you can get hurt by a safety razor. She'll probably bleed a couple of times, I know I did when I was learning, and I'm guessing most of us did. But we all figured it out. She'll figure it out too.
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#49 of 59 Old 06-20-2010, 07:57 PM
 
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I second the Venus razor idea and just want to add that in our home, if they are old enough to notice/care about their leg/arm/wherever hair-then they are old enough to shave. And ummm....my other girls didn't have the gorilla problem but my 2yo was born with hair covering her BACK and even on her EARS! It's faded SLIGHTLY but still there. Apparently all of our gorilla genes pooled together just for her. Ahem. LOL

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#50 of 59 Old 06-21-2010, 06:43 PM
 
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I'm an esthetician and wouldn't feel comfortable doing a leg wax on a 10 year old.

Why not buy her a Venus razor (the best and most safe IMO) and some nice shaving gel or cream and show her how? Make this about her being able to trust you. She's growing up. It's time. Just be there to guide her and she will blossom right in front of your eyes.
We bought the venus razor too, and it works very well. My daughter started when she was in fifth grade. She didn't start her period til 8th grade. So, the kids would have tormented her if I made her wait.

It is SOOOOOOOO horrible when our girls start growing up though!!! I can remember lying awake at night, wishing I just had a few more years with a little girl. Sigh.
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#51 of 59 Old 06-21-2010, 06:48 PM
 
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I have dark leg hair so will just echo the chorus here... let her shave. And I agree that the Venus Razor is good.

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#52 of 59 Old 06-24-2010, 03:19 PM
 
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Is there a point that you would think is too young? My daughter will be 8 in November and while she hasn't asked yet I could see it being in the next year or so. She does gymnastics twice a week and dance twice a week so her legs are constantly showing. My husband is Greek and she out of the 3 kids she is the only one who got the dark Greek colouring (my other daughter is blond and blue eyes!) and her leg hair is very dark and noticeable. Would you feel comfortable letting an 8-9 year old shave?? I just got used to the idea of letting her get her ears pierced for her 8th birthday, the idea of shaving is slightly terrifying!

BTW, I started when I was 11 when a boy I liked made fun of my hairy legs.

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#53 of 59 Old 06-24-2010, 03:38 PM
 
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My grandma had a really nice home wax kit and used to wax me whenever I came to visit. (all summer and once a year for winter getaway)
I think i started doing that at about 11 or 12. If done right and with good supplies it really did not hurt that bad. I startredc doing it year round on and off at about 16 when she bought me my own kit.

I have many times in the winter let it go for many months and yes it does grow back less and less over the years, now in my thirties I have maybe a 1/4 of the hair I had at 18. I think that electrolysis lady was just thinking her way was best.

I would let me kid shave or help her wax at any point she felt comfortable with it. I liked waxing because I didn't have to do it every day and the growth was soft so I could let it go for longer before it was noticeable.

FYI, my mom shaved nothing ever, still doesn't and neither did a lot of the folks around me, so it was pretty easy for me to go either way, in the end I just loved the feel of smooth and still do.

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#54 of 59 Old 06-24-2010, 03:51 PM
 
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My dd started shaving when she wanted to I think it was maybe 11 or 12, but My next dd has breasts now, is getting hairy bits but very blonde... Whenever she wants to shave she can. Body issues are hard enough without being allowed to control those kind of easily-controlled qualities to your preference. My dd is rather uncareful but has had few boo-boos from razor

I have always refused to have the Nair and its cousins in my house. I'm sure my kids will go all out with them at some point and dd probably has elsewhere but so be it. She's taken a million wild or wonderful freedoms with my blessing that I wouldn't agree with, I refused this one. I'm still mom and I'm protectively particular about chemicals on bodies and storing them in my space/my other children's space. (She has some extra issues with excreting toxins and some sensitivities FWIW but I try not to use that as a reason too much because it is not severe.) IMO anything that can eat hair doesn't belong on skin and I haven't even looked into it beyond that. I think shaving is also better because it requires an effort for the result instead of a commercial insta-magic kind of result. A 10yo can learn to handle it safely no problem--my 7yo will have worse scars from poison ivy/bug bites/scab-picking I'm quite certain than she ever will from shaving.

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#55 of 59 Old 06-24-2010, 04:50 PM
 
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My oldest dd, who is 12 now, started shaving with an electric razor at 9. My 9 year old also started in 4th grade. My older one uses a regular razor now. She also gets her eye brows waxed! Poor thing got her daddy's eyebrows; at 12, she already had a unibrow. Anyway, she likes having her eyebrows done, but it does hurt. I cannot imagine her waxing her legs.
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#56 of 59 Old 06-24-2010, 04:52 PM
 
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i was 10 whn i started shaving. i dont think had much to shave but it made me feel grown up
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#57 of 59 Old 06-24-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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i used my grandpa's old school double sided razor lol i cant tell you how many times i cut myself
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#58 of 59 Old 06-29-2010, 06:05 PM
 
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My mom wouldn't let me shave and I was younger than all my friends because I started school early, so I hid it from her and bought cheap bic razors. I cut myself really bad once! My grandma finally bought me an electric razor. I think it was more of a control issue for my mom than anything, so of course I was going to rebel against her. I don't think it is a big deal, I would either take her to get waxed if she wanted or let her shave.

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#59 of 59 Old 07-06-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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I feel for you mama-- my dd is 9 and really could start anytime imo bc I am fair w dark hair and she got the saskwatch gene from her dad-- so she was really born w no hope and has plenty of fairly dark hair already, LOL. She was also born without the normal sense of fear that usually protects people from jumping out of 3 story high trees and such-- so I fear the impending shaving bloodbath (fortunately she likes bare legs under long skirts at this point)

We really really love the hair-off mittens like a PP linked. They're great! But expensive. I have frugally found that ultra-fine grit emery paper (like 1000 grit or finer from an auto store) works fine when cut in little squares and is about 1/10 the price. But for her first few experiences, you may want to buy the fancy little mitts-- it's a celebration for her- a milestone.

Other products I like are the noxema disposable razors-- I have never had even a nick w them, and the "EMJOI" device-- it's like a "plucky-machine" no blood.

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