My 10 yo DD asked me if she could shave - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-18-2010, 09:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She has VERY hairy legs. I have always felt bad because she got some sort of gorilla gene or something. She has been asking for about 2 years and I keep putting it off. I once said that when she gets her period, then she can start shaving, but honestly, I feel bad saying no when it very obviously bothers her a lot. She is totally maturing, has boobs, gets pimples. She has told me that several of her friends are already shaving.

WAH! It just seems so grown-up and I wonder if it is more me not letting her grow up than anything.

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Old 03-18-2010, 09:51 AM
 
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What is your interest in not letting her shave?

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Old 03-18-2010, 09:52 AM
 
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Personally, for my child, I don't feel it is my place to tell her when she can shave--at least once she is showing signs of puberty (as your dd is). I never asked anyone if I could begin shaving .

I'm very "pro choice" with shaving, lol. My dd is 9 and has sparse hair, but will not need to ask permission to shave when she is ready.
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Old 03-18-2010, 09:57 AM
 
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Why wouldn't she be allowed to shave? I started shaving around that age - I also have the gorilla gene. I actually don't shave in the winter now at age 29, but it's my choice. Changing for gym class was getting really uncomfortable for me, so I just started shaving (I didn't ask, but I doubt my mom would have said no). If it's making her uncomfortable or causing social issues, and if you don't have a serious moral objection, I don't see why not. It's just hair. Would you let her get her hair cut short if she wanted to?

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Old 03-18-2010, 12:32 PM
 
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my almost 10 yr old had mentioned some girls in her class have started to shave their legs, dd hasn't started nor do I think she is ready to start but modesty and personal grooming haven't really kicked in for her yet. She has light, sparse hair anyway. But if your dd is asking and it will allow her to feel good I would say its fine. Girls are starting to notice these things now and I would want her to feel comfortable.
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Old 03-18-2010, 12:38 PM
 
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I think she's old enough to shave her legs and underarms if that is what she wants. Get her a nice safe razor and give her instruction, even if you do not do it yourself. Maybe she will decide that it isn't worth the time and effort, but she won't forget that you were there for her when she asked you to be.
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Old 03-18-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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I would let her. I was 11 when I started shaving my legs and I had BEGGED for permission to shave for a year or so. I had hairy legs (and underarms) and it was embarrassing to me to have so much hair. In retrospect, I cannot imagine why my parents didn't let me...must have been a control issue on their part.

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Old 03-18-2010, 02:34 PM
 
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I have a thread on here about my dd starting to shave...I can't figure out how to link it, but you can search. I had to deal w/my own feelings of "too young", but that was my stuff, not anything I needed to put on dd. She really wanted to shave her legs, and her underarms as well. And, she "needed" to, but I put that in quotes because I really talked w/her about making her OWN choices about her body, and no one has to shave-it's a choice we make.

Anyway, I bought her some small pink razors which fit her hands pretty well, as well as some fruity, pink shaving gel, and when she asked me to help her, I did. She's very good now-no cuts or nicks, and has taken on this piece of her grooming very independently. She may want an electric razor at some point, and she can let me know. It is not a big deal, except that it was one of those preteen moments to solidify that her body is hers. I have to say that my willingness to respect this choice has positively impacted our open discussions.

Good luck!
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Old 03-18-2010, 03:59 PM
 
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I started shaving my legs around 9 or 10. I had super hairy legs and it made me very uncomfortable. My sister wanted to shave around 9, so I taught her how..I actually did it for her the firs couple times..she was a little scared.
If you are not completely comfortable with a razor, they have the veet stuff..with the cream and the little non sharp razor thing
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Old 03-18-2010, 04:02 PM
 
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I started shaving when I turned 10, at the end of fifth grade. And I have pretty conservative parents. I think that's a reasonable age if a child is asking, especially for those of us with dark or "extra" hair that really stands out.

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Old 03-18-2010, 04:06 PM
 
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I wasnt allowed to shave until I was around 15y and at that point I went behind mom's back and did it. She got mad but after that she let it go.

My dd will be allowed to do it when she wants. Thankfully she is fair haired and you cant see the hair on her legs. I on the other hand got the dark hairy gene so it was very much noticeable that I didnt shave.

I will get dd a safe razor to use so she dosnt hurt herself and show her how to use the other kind of razor as well.

 
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Old 03-18-2010, 10:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
Personally, for my child, I don't feel it is my place to tell her when she can shave--at least once she is showing signs of puberty (as your dd is). I never asked anyone if I could begin shaving .

I'm very "pro choice" with shaving, lol. My dd is 9 and has sparse hair, but will not need to ask permission to shave when she is ready.
I agree with this...only I just ask my dd to let me know when/if she is ready so I can give her a lesson and get her her own razor and shaving cream. My mom didn't allow me to shave for a year or two despite my begging, and I would sneak it anyway. I must have picked a dull blade or something because I would cut myself and get razor burn constantly...I would like to save my daughter from that by teaching her the right way the first time.

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Old 03-18-2010, 11:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think my concern is because, well, my dd is quite, ah... well, not graceful. I'm seriously worried she is going to bleed to death in the tub. Ok, maybe not that much, but I think it could get very ugly. So, what is a 'safe' razor? Any razor I've ever had can make me bleed. How does one give instruction on how to do it? I just learned on my own, my mom never taught me. I'm not against it, per se, but I am against her totally slashing her legs... if that makes sense. I think it is more the fear of her hurting herself, because she really has no idea how to not hurt herself doing fairly normal things.

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Old 03-19-2010, 12:04 AM
 
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Those round ladies razors are the safest according to other mothers that I have talked to. I cannot think of the name but my mom used to have one.

Another alternative is a water proof rechargable those only pinch not cut.

The main thing is to tell her to be gentle and not use a lot of pressure because that ends in lots of blood nice scare on my leg from that little learning experience.

Trial and error was my way of learning.

 
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Old 03-19-2010, 12:06 AM
 
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how about something like this? It works great, and I can usually find it in any large drugstore. And no possibility of cutting herself!

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Old 03-19-2010, 12:17 AM
 
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I wish those things worked for me but my hair is to flippin stubborn but I bet for fine hair they would work really well.

 
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Old 03-19-2010, 12:28 AM
 
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When I was young, I think maybe 9 or 10ish, my Mom went out of town. I asked my Dad for some Nair at the store and he got it for me. I used it and my Mom flipped out. I never could understand that. I mean, I rarely shave as it is, I don't think starting young affected anything

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how about something like this? It works great, and I can usually find it in any large drugstore. And no possibility of cutting herself!
I was surprised, but that actually worked for me! It is very expensive though, IMO, so I can't afford it.

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Old 03-19-2010, 12:35 AM
 
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How does one give instruction on how to do it? I just learned on my own, my mom never taught me. I'm not against it, per se, .
The easiest way, if she wants you to, and you're comfortable with it, it to do it your self for a few strokes. You can show her what kind of pressure is right, and how to navigate spots like the ankle, etc. It only took a minute for my dd to get it. She asked me to show her, so that made it easy.
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Old 03-19-2010, 12:45 AM
 
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I let my dd shave and she is 11. She started last summer with swim team.

I wouldn't worry to much about her cutting herself. She MIGHT do it a few times but she will learn quickly -- natural consequences.
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Old 03-19-2010, 12:53 AM
 
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Don't have any input about rather or not she should shave, but I found that as far as "safe" razors, the Schick Quattro Pro for Women rocks. I swear, I'm so clumsy I could cut myself with a spoon, but I've never had a problem with that razor.

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Old 03-19-2010, 01:06 AM
 
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I'd definitely let her shave. I'm a person who still cuts herself regularly (darn knees and ankles!) and there was never a danger of me bleeding to death. Actually, my mom always used to buy me cutesy cartoon bandaids for my Christmas stocking because she knew how uncoordinated my shaving was. Trust me, you can have tons of little nicks all over your legs and still be totally okay.

That hair off mitten thing is funny. My college roommate was enthralled by things like that, and ordered a set when she saw a commercial on TV. She let me try one when they arrived. It's sandpaper. Really fine-grain sandpaper that they sell for far too much money because they call it a girly product. I bet you can go to Home Depot and buy the same stuff for much cheaper (although not in pink, probably ). If you decide to go that route.
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Old 03-19-2010, 04:47 AM
 
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I looked at our Home Depot, and couldn't find anything quite as fine as the Hair Off things. I don't remove my hair, personally, but I'm fair, and DD is NOT, so I assume at some point she's going to want to do so. It's weird to me, but I didn't have to deal with the dark hair she'll have to deal with.

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Old 03-19-2010, 04:51 AM
 
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I would let her. Maybe go to the store and pick her out an electric razor and wrap it up. I bet she would be shocked, and so happy that you are understanding the difficulty she is having.

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Old 03-19-2010, 07:04 PM
 
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I would let her shave also. What about Sensitive Skin Nair if a razor worries you?

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Old 03-19-2010, 07:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Nair seems so toxic to me, and she breaks out in a rash if she even looks at something that might not be good for you skin. Definitely will not go that route.

I will take everything into consideration... I just never even thought about anything like this until I was 13.

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Old 03-19-2010, 07:40 PM
 
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Yeah about that sensitive skin Nair stuff: I tried it for the first time a week ago before we went to an indoor water park, (after not shaving for several months.) It worked, but my skin stung pretty bad afterward, especially along the bikini line. I also took off half of my pubic hair accidently because I flexed my leg to get under my knee with it on my upper thigh.....my dh and I have been laughing about it since everytime he sees me naked. Don't think I will be using that again!

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Old 03-21-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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There are waterproof lady shavers out there. My oldest girl started out with that, and still uses one because she loves it. You can cut yourself with that.
And, yes, I'd let her.

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Old 03-21-2010, 06:43 PM
 
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I've had bad experience with all Nair products. I always break out in the areas where I am using them.

How about the Schick razor? There are several hair-like thin wires that run over the razor blades to minimize cuts.

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Old 03-21-2010, 07:48 PM
 
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This is the one pricey splurge I make for me. I buy those razors that look like they have a bar of soap wrapped around them. I shave once a week. The refills cost $10 and last me a month. I don't think you can cut yourself with them. I never Nick myself even when I'm rushing using them. But the best part, the reason I splurge on them is that they leave my legs soft, smooth, mosturized, and never any razor bumps. Although usually at least one little patch of hair I missed. The downside is they're only good for one use, maybe two uses occasionally. I would call it a good razor.
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Old 03-26-2010, 10:24 PM
 
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In college my roommate, who was Latina, would wax her legs. She scheduled a monthly beauty day, a tradition she learned from her own mother when she was a child. I thought it was a wonderful tradition. Over the years the hair grows back lighter.

You can buy wax kits at the drug store, the strips are easy to use and quite effective. Nothing sharp or hot that might cut or burn a child. It hurts for a few moments -- like pulling off a bandaid, do it quick and it's over. I find that after the initial Yow! it doesn't really hurt much. I'd rather my daughter wax than shave.
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