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Old 05-04-2010, 08:27 PM
 
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Both of mine will be home this summer (although my son is ready to move to Philly *today*!). They usually spend part of the summer with their Dad, but I gather that is not happening for reasons that I won't go into. #1 will spend the summer working and getting ready for August. #2 plans to work and play field hockey.
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:24 AM
 
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We miss him a lot, but it's really wonderful to go visit and see him living in an apartment, taking care of himself and managing just fine.


Exactly!!! DS1 just moved himself out of his dorm and into an off-campus rental. DH and I just realized that we were around 40 the first time we did a move on our own (he was active duty military). It's great to see our kids doing what we hadn't done, and to see them doing it well. No help from us other than moral support, either, because he's on the opposite end of the country.

The visits are our next big thing . . . DS2 is just finishing junior year h.s. and will be away until August. After school starts it's college shopping, so we're trying to plan those trips as well as visits to DS1 for all of us. Some of them will overlap for DS2, because he's looking at schools in that area as well. My head is spinning.

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
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Old 06-13-2010, 09:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know what you mean about your head spinning. It's so amazing making our way into this next phase of life. I can't believe that at the end of this summer, which is sure to FLY by, my DD1 will be away at college! Anything that we should do to prepare that I have not thought of yet? She pretty much runs her own schedule, does her laundry, etc. already. Does anyone have any good hindsight advice?!

TIA!

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Old 06-14-2010, 11:46 AM
 
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I know what you mean about your head spinning. It's so amazing making our way into this next phase of life. I can't believe that at the end of this summer, which is sure to FLY by, my DD1 will be away at college! Anything that we should do to prepare that I have not thought of yet? She pretty much runs her own schedule, does her laundry, etc. already. Does anyone have any good hindsight advice?!

TIA!
If there's air travel involved, I'd make arrangements as soon as you can. They get so busy during school that maybe you can talk about it now -- i.e. once you get dates, will she mind if you just go ahead and present her with a done deal, or does she want to book things herself?

The other thing I'd do ahead of time if possible is get poster adhesive ahead of time! If your DD wants to decorate at all, I hear the stuff is great. DS is very very spare, so he never used it, but it was hard to find on campus and I ended up having to mail it from home after orientation week.

Wow. Those are pretty opposite extremes of "importance." That's what it's like, though.

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
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Old 06-20-2010, 08:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks!

Well we are through graduation and party and everything, now it's just on to prepare for the start of college. I am happy about the change but will miss having her here!

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Old 06-20-2010, 02:36 PM
 
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I would make sure she has some basic tools (screwdrivers, pliers, hammer), extension cords and at least one power strip, a first aid kit, a basic toiletries kit - including birth control for her AND him.
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Old 06-20-2010, 04:10 PM
 
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Oh! And a sewing kit, and an ACLU card -- a "bust card."

http://www.aclu.org/racial-justice/k...ights-bustcard
(there's a link to download a print-and-fold version you can fit in your wallet)

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
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Old 07-22-2010, 09:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well we are in the throes of getting stuff and packing. I can't believe it! How can time possibly go so fast?!

How is everyone else doing with this transition?

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Old 07-23-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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We started shopping today. It's all very exciting.
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Old 07-24-2010, 12:55 PM
 
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Some odds and ends that made our lives easier:

Consider arranging your DC's access to a credit card, and / or figure out what banking will be best.

Stock up on flat rate boxes from the Post Office -- the other day I sent one for around $15 that would have been $24 Priority.

I found it helpful to test-drive video chat software ahead of time. DS1 used skype throughout the school year, video and audio, and then went over to its IM feature once he moved off-campus (our voices carry throughout the house he's living in now, so he wanted the privacy).

Check cell phone plans and consider adding unlimited texting if you don't have it now.

Program some key phone numbers at school into your phones: Campus Security, Health / Counseling, RA(s), even local 24/7 drop-in clinics. Perhaps get local physician info if your child has health issues that need to be followed closely.

DS2 is a high school senior this year, so I'm taking a slow deep breath and gearing up for the coming roller coaster ride. I don't know that perspective from having done it already helps me!

Happy shopping and planning!

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
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Old 07-29-2010, 09:45 AM
 
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So we're rapidly approaching the month when they move off to school! How's everyone doing? Getting excited? Courses all set? Fees all paid?

I have my verklempt moments, but his enthusiasm and excitement are contagious. He made friends at Orientation, has registered for his courses, and has applied for several work-study jobs. Still a few things to buy, but he is as ready as one could be, I think.
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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And the home stretch . . . Everyone doing all right?

Enjoy the ride!

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:05 PM
 
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I don't know that perspective from having done it already helps me!
Interesting!

Oldest is only 15 y.o. but this thread helps me with perspective.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes we are in the final week before leaving. It is so cliche but how did it all go so fast?! I am going to miss her soooooo much. I think we have everything covered and I can send anything that we have forgotten. I started e-mailing her to get ready for our new interaction...I am so used to talking with her every day. We have skype and e-mail and of course I can send her packages. Any other advice for coping with this giant change?

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Old 08-18-2010, 04:06 PM
 
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We text a lot. There's also some apps for iPhones where you can play games with each other (chess, scrabble, etc).

I have to admit that as excited as I am for my d, I'm struggling with all this right now.
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:49 PM
 
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I'm curious, did any of your children remain 'undecided' regarding a degree?

If your dc declared a field of interest, did you object to or argue with your child's choice?

Any other big decisions you might have argued with your child about? Or were you and your child able to discuss these big issues pretty calmly?

I ask because I have unresolved college issues of my own and I can tell I'm going to have to really restrain myself from trying to get too involved in dd's college decisions. Seriously, the other day I spent a couple of hours on Princeton Review's web site sorting through colleges I think would be a good match for her (fifteen years old, only a sophomore). Lewis and Clark in Portland, OR would be perfect.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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Old 08-20-2010, 01:10 AM
 
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I'm curious, did any of your children remain 'undecided' regarding a degree?

If your dc declared a field of interest, did you object to or argue with your child's choice?

Any other big decisions you might have argued with your child about? Or were you and your child able to discuss these big issues pretty calmly?

I ask because I have unresolved college issues of my own and I can tell I'm going to have to really restrain myself from trying to get too involved in dd's college decisions. Seriously, the other day I spent a couple of hours on Princeton Review's web site sorting through colleges I think would be a good match for her (fifteen years old, only a sophomore). Lewis and Clark in Portland, OR would be perfect.
My son has known for several years what field his intended major would be in. It has been his passion, and he has the talent to do well. He and I have had no arguments about it, as I am a big fan of "do what you love and love what you do). Also, I settled for a major that my parents talked me into - which I wasn't happy with - and I would never do that to my child. Conversely, his Dad has been relatively unsupportive of his choice. Which has only made our son more determined.

We really had no arguments about his choices. I did convince him to apply to a few schools he hadn't looked at seriously, simply as options due to his other academic strengths, so he'd have a back-up.

One thing I would stress is to allow your daughter to do her own research for the most part. What you may consider a good fit, may turn out to be the wrong choice. Not to say you shouldn't also do research, but it should be more from a position of suggesting possibilities for her to look at, rather than pushing a school that you think would be right for her. Also - visit schools with her. Nothing replaces an actual feet on the ground visit. We visited three schools in the roughly same geographic area, and I knew the minute we stepped foot on one campus that it would be where he'd be attending. (It is.) There was something about the size, location, energy... everything, that screamed his name.

The hardest part of it all was sitting by and trying NOT to influence him in one direction while his Dad influenced him in another. Even though I knew he would be miserable if he went that way. But I felt it was time for him to stand up for what he wanted - and in the end he did. He always knew that I would support his decision either way. But... it had to be HIS decision.

**************

In the meantime, we are coming down to the wire. Tuesday the 24th is move-in day. On the one hand, I can't wait as I know he is SO ready and is itching to get started. On the other, I want to hit the brakes and go back in time to when he was my little boy. But that won't make it any easier, and it's time for him to start building his own life.

We do text a lot, and we're friends on FB.
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Old 08-20-2010, 12:08 PM
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If your dc declared a field of interest, did you object to or argue with your child's choice?
I'm glad you realize you're too involved, because arguing about a grown child's choice of major would be unhealthy.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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Old 08-20-2010, 04:50 PM
 
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I'm curious, did any of your children remain 'undecided' regarding a degree?

If your dc declared a field of interest, did you object to or argue with your child's choice?

Any other big decisions you might have argued with your child about? Or were you and your child able to discuss these big issues pretty calmly?

I ask because I have unresolved college issues of my own and I can tell I'm going to have to really restrain myself from trying to get too involved in dd's college decisions. Seriously, the other day I spent a couple of hours on Princeton Review's web site sorting through colleges I think would be a good match for her (fifteen years old, only a sophomore). Lewis and Clark in Portland, OR would be perfect.
DS1 and DS2 have phenomenal academic records, which led to some anxiety on my part that they would/do hear about schools to which they "should" apply. Our major input has been to ask them what they think, what they want, what they see, and how the school will meet what's right for them. So we would probably have spoken up more if one of them went along with what he felt he had to do rather than what was a temperamental and academic match.

Your DD should definitely be the one in charge of the research! But there is such a ****ton of information out there that maybe you can get involved with legwork using her criteria. I'm in the middle of spending hours compiling a list of schools for DS2 using his preferences for an academic rating combined with acceptance rate, then digging up and finding the link for each school's course descriptions so *he* can decide which ones to consider.

For an approach to school selection, I cannot say enough about Loren Pope's work ("Looking Beyond the Ivy League" and "Colleges That Change Lives").

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
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Old 08-20-2010, 09:38 PM
 
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using his preferences for an academic rating combined with acceptance rate,


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I cannot say enough about Loren Pope's work ("Looking Beyond the Ivy League" and "Colleges That Change Lives").


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I'm glad you realize you're too involved, because arguing about a grown child's choice of major would be unhealthy.
Yes, it would! When I was a teen I wasn't encouraged to find what I was really interested in, based upon my real academic abilities. I wasn't really ready for college when I graduated, but I tried to be a journalism major, because it fit Mom's idea about what a worth-while major was. So eventually I flunked out altogether.

So far it seems as though dd will be able to manage college courses just fine. Basically she's more capable than I was at that age.

Honestly I'm really proud of how I'm handling this. I've made it really clear that going to college isn't the only option. She can get some sort of certification in a vocational field or go straight into the working world or whatever. Really, whatever she feels capable of doing. I already think she's the coolest, and I think she knows I love her unconditionally.

I think I could be in danger of living vicariously through her, though. So I'm keeping a lid on it.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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Old 08-23-2010, 08:45 PM
 
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Best of luck to all freshlings and their families!!!

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
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Old 08-24-2010, 06:38 PM
 
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I moved my son in today, and in all honesty? The anticipation was worse than the reality. Last night I literally felt that I just wanted to throw up. Today? Got him moved in, settled, had lunch. And then a hug and a kiss, told him to keep in touch, and off we went in our separate directions.

He texted me a bit ago to tell me he had to get a new Ethernet cable, and to thank me for knowing when to leave w/o his asking me to.

He is so ready for this, and I am happy to see him taking this step into a new chapter of his life.

My younger one couldn't go with us today, but they have already arranged that she will go down to see him this w/e. They are the best of friends - he can't wait to show her around, and she can't wait to hang with him and his new friends.
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Old 08-25-2010, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We made it through the drop off too. There were some tears shed but also a lot of excitment for this next adventure. It is amazing how many little things are involved in getting my head around this change....like grocery shopping...I kept having to remind myself that I did not need stuff for her at home right now...eating dinner or locking the door before she is home...I guess it will all feel weird for a while.

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Old 08-25-2010, 01:00 PM
 
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We made it through the drop off too. There were some tears shed but also a lot of excitment for this next adventure. It is amazing how many little things are involved in getting my head around this change....like grocery shopping...I kept having to remind myself that I did not need stuff for her at home right now...eating dinner or locking the door before she is home...I guess it will all feel weird for a while.
Funnily enough, I was thinking of grocery shopping this morning. My daughter and I are already planning meals that we like, but we know my son wouldn't, so we haven't had often.

She is going to visit him on Sunday, as she couldn't go yesterday. It will be more fun for them both anyway... They are good friends, and she is as excited to explore Philly as he is to show her.
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Old 09-04-2010, 01:38 AM
 
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So how are all the freshmen (and their parents!) settling in?

My son has finished his first week of classes and says that "college is... wondrous." He's making a lot of new friends, has a g/f (he actually met her at Orientation in July, so they've known one another for a bit), is participating in a bunch of activities. And loves his classes. This term he's taking 17 credits, split roughly evenly between Music-focused classes and Gen Ed classes.

We talk every few days (I leave it to him to call me), chat on FB, text. He is happier than a pig in mud. I am so glad he made this choice.
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Old 10-05-2010, 12:50 PM
 
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Just finished making plane and lodging reservations for ours in early November!

Combined with college visits for DS2, so it'll be a little hectic and lots of fun. DS1's school does meet & greets, tours, visit-a-class, theater and musical performances. What's going on for the rest of you?

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
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