DD had her first... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-23-2010, 04:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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period! We have been talking for quite awhile, knowing that it could come at any time ( I started at 10, she's 11 1/2) and she had a very light, one day first one, so she is over the moon. The breast development has been ongoing for the past year or so, so there was some anxiety on her part to start and not be ''the last of her friends''. The church group we belong to has a special ceremony to honor her change to womenhood, where she is given small gifts and advice from the other women, and just generally fussed over and made a big deal of. I am of course thrilled for her, but I feel a bit of sadness and anxiety. I vividly recall the years 11-18 or so, and they are scary and overwhelming. I just feel like this is the first really big step from child to woman, and I want her to feel comfortable in her skin, enough to not follow the crowd and be militantly on her own side, instead of succumbing to the lure of ''what every one else is doing''. I know everyone worries about their kids, no matter what stage and age, this just feels like the first thing I can't ''fix'', yk? I can still kiss boo-boos, and hold her when she cries, but she'll never truly be a child again. She is a young woman, and while I am overjoyed for her, my heart aches to see such tangible proof of her growing up.
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#2 of 6 Old 04-25-2010, 07:57 PM
 
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What a milestone for both you and your dd. It sounds like you have a community of sorts to offer a lot of positive reinforcement. I'd love to know more about the ceremony you had with your church, and the types of gifts and advice your dd was given. How did she respond to this?
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#3 of 6 Old 05-05-2010, 01:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She was given books and art, advice and cloth pads. She knew that there would be a ceremony for her when it happened, as we have one for various stages, ie..pregnancy, virginity being gifted to a love, and so on. We are very open and all the women are available to talk at any time. The effort is put into honoring life changes, with respect for ones self and body. We feel that by honoring these things, our young women are much less likely to ''lose'' virginity, as opposed to waiting for the right person and for one to be ready in all ways for potential concequences from that, respect for ones' self, so that drug use will not be looked upon as a good idea, and so on. We are a very tight group, family oriented and kind. I want my DD's to look upon the older women as role models. I certainly do, and we are encouraged to aim high by example.
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#4 of 6 Old 05-08-2010, 03:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tatangel19 View Post
She was given books and art, advice and cloth pads. She knew that there would be a ceremony for her when it happened, as we have one for various stages, ie..pregnancy, virginity being gifted to a love, and so on. We are very open and all the women are available to talk at any time. The effort is put into honoring life changes, with respect for ones self and body. We feel that by honoring these things, our young women are much less likely to ''lose'' virginity, as opposed to waiting for the right person and for one to be ready in all ways for potential concequences from that, respect for ones' self, so that drug use will not be looked upon as a good idea, and so on. We are a very tight group, family oriented and kind. I want my DD's to look upon the older women as role models. I certainly do, and we are encouraged to aim high by example.
I want to go to your church!

(and, as a pagan married to a jew, this is not something I say every day!)
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#5 of 6 Old 05-09-2010, 01:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tatangel19 View Post
She was given books and art, advice and cloth pads. She knew that there would be a ceremony for her when it happened, as we have one for various stages, ie..pregnancy, virginity being gifted to a love, and so on. We are very open and all the women are available to talk at any time. The effort is put into honoring life changes, with respect for ones self and body. We feel that by honoring these things, our young women are much less likely to ''lose'' virginity, as opposed to waiting for the right person and for one to be ready in all ways for potential concequences from that, respect for ones' self, so that drug use will not be looked upon as a good idea, and so on. We are a very tight group, family oriented and kind. I want my DD's to look upon the older women as role models. I certainly do, and we are encouraged to aim high by example.
What a beautiful idea! I wish that I had that kind of support in those yrs, it probably wouldn't have been so scary and awful with women like that around.
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#6 of 6 Old 05-13-2010, 02:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Teak's mom, we are a pagan church, mostly Asatru.
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