How much electronics (videogames) do you allow? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 46 Old 06-26-2010, 01:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
ours was a Christmas present to the kids. We were going to spend money on them any way, we just chose to spend it on what they wanted for themselves rather than what we thought they should want.

The Wii is very social. Their favorite games are played together and we sometimes play as a whole family for our board game night.

We don't buy new games very often.
This is exactly how we brought the Wii into our house and how it's usually used. DH and I bought DDR , some baseball games and Wii Fit and other things that are group and physiically oriented.
The kids buy their own games. They are very discriminating and research the games before making a purchase. We do draw the line at viloence. No Halo, Grand Theft Auto, etc.
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#32 of 46 Old 06-26-2010, 02:18 PM
 
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We don't really limit screen time of any sort. But we do expect them to spend time outdoors daily (weather permitting), we do expect daily chores to be done & we do expect them to participate in family time (which may be meal times or family movie night or weekend outings). Other than that, we don't really limit or give preference to their activities.
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#33 of 46 Old 06-26-2010, 02:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chiromamma View Post
The kids buy their own games. They are very discriminating and research the games before making a purchase.
Games get well researched at our house too! The Christmas we gave them the Wii, my DH asked the people he worked with which games their kids played the most, and based on that we got them Mario Cart (and 2 steering wheels!) as part of the gift. Wii Sports is our family favorite.

One other nice thing about Wii is that you can easily take a game with you to a friends house, or have your friend bring a game when the sleep over. It's not like a computer game that you load on your machine that's it for the license.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#34 of 46 Old 06-26-2010, 05:02 PM
 
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We have limits on screen time and electronic use.

The older kids each had a gameboy at some point, which was limited to 1 hour a day OR unlimited use in the car. We don't have a tv, so that leaves out a lot of video game things.

They each have an MP3 player, both use it minimally but I haven't limited anything there, it's just been their preference.

Computer time is after chores and other responsibilities, my oldest tends to use it the most. We frequently discuss healthy limits for all of us. The kids share a computer in the living room, and only the oldest has automatic internet access. He played Runescape for a while but seems to have lost interest.

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#35 of 46 Old 06-26-2010, 07:43 PM
 
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For me the video/computer games and TV are like wine. I don't enjoy it until my responsibilities are fulfilled.
I stop at 2 glasses. Occasionally I'll indulge in more.
If I drink a bottle a night, I'll end up fat and needing to abstain all together.
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#36 of 46 Old 06-28-2010, 12:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by chiromamma View Post
For me the video/computer games and TV are like wine. I don't enjoy it until my responsibilities are fulfilled.
I stop at 2 glasses. Occasionally I'll indulge in more.
If I drink a bottle a night, I'll end up fat and needing to abstain all together.
That was well put!
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#37 of 46 Old 06-29-2010, 02:30 AM
 
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That said, you are speaking for yourself rather than your children.

As parents having learned something about moderation, how much are we controlling our children's experience. How much immoderate use might they explore along the way? How much do they participate in the decision?

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#38 of 46 Old 06-29-2010, 09:33 AM
 
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That said, you are speaking for yourself rather than your children.

As parents having learned something about moderation, how much are we controlling our children's experience. How much immoderate use might they explore along the way? How much do they participate in the decision?
As I see it, it's my job as a parent to guide my kids by sometimes setting limits, sometimes setting rules and sometimes letting them make decisions without my guidance.

I use the alcohol as an analogy with my kids to illustrate the necessity of moderation.

My family's approach to gaming is not an indictment of other's. Nor do I see another approach to gaming as an indictment of ours.
It is our approach based on what we know about the nervous system and emerging concepts in neuroscience

Two excellent books that helped shape our perspective are Evolutions End by Joeph Chilton Pierce and Boys Adrift. I can't remember that author.
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#39 of 46 Old 07-06-2010, 11:42 PM
 
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This question depends so much on your child, their maturity, type and their ability to manage themselves socially.

In January, I banned ALL child sourced computer games and ALL youtube due to the adverse effects it was having on my Asperger Spectrum Condition children.

As everyone here probably recognises, young children go through a phase of imitation (that is how humans learn), and this helps them to normalize the behavior.

For Aspie children, this is sometimes drawn out to last a few years longer than normal. For repeating what people say, this is known as "echolalia". This can also be seen in repeating actions (echopraxia). If small children see people being mean on TV, this is copied, and older aspies often are not equipped to manage/ distinguish/ filter socially unacceptable behavior.

Already we have no TV set, and a tough policy on games. Anything that wants to be watched is downloaded and put through the family PC, where we watch as a family. When games are allowed, they must be problem solving types, or creative thinking.

Absolutely NO violence.

Obviously this is not something that I would council for everyone, but for those with young children and kids with Asperger or Autistic Spectrum Conditions, look out for susceptibility to echolalia and echopraxia.

Our ban has had a dramatic and obviously beneficial effect.

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#40 of 46 Old 07-13-2010, 12:05 AM
 
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I don't really like the idea of requiring reading before playing. Mainly because I don't want reading to be viewed as the thing they have to put up with to do the thing they want. I don't want a negative association with reading. It's like a punishment. Or forcing kids to eat their vegetables.
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#41 of 46 Old 07-16-2010, 12:03 PM
 
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i dont limit screen time at all mine are 16 and 13 now my 16 year old ds will spend 3/4 das on his xbox playing new game then wont touch it for a month he is not much of a tv guy and watches maybe 2 shows a week my 13 yer old dd is not a gamer but likes to talk to her friends on msn and watch music chanels on tv. as long as homework and chores are done i dont really see the problem at all. Sometimes i spend the whole day on the laptop or watching a dvd box but also still work and study other days
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#42 of 46 Old 07-16-2010, 01:33 PM
 
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We have never needed to put limits on screen time. My kids are involved in very time consuming activities they are passionate about. During the school year, they average 3 or 4 hours a week at home and thats everything combined (TV/Wii/computer.) They do add some additional time in the car during our commutes to activities with DD 13 and her ipod touch and DS 9 with his Dsi. I really don't stress about that though as it's not conflicting with anything else and often they still choose to chat.

They have a little more time in the summer and they will have days here and there they will want to veg in front of a screen for hours but it's not the norm and so not something we ever worry about.

Married mom of two, DD 17 and DS 13.
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#43 of 46 Old 07-16-2010, 01:50 PM
 
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I truly believe that for nearly all families, at some point you have to decide if you are a "my house my rules" kind of parent or a "I trust you enough to let you be different from me" kind of parent. We choose the later.
Yes, I agree. We weren't totally opposed to game systems (I mean, DH and I are the Atari generation) but we knew that we didn't want them in the house while the kids are little. This is a pretty common mentality when your kids are 4 or 5 and they only know what you expose them too. Then they get older and they learn about the options. For boys in particular, it's tough for them without some sort of system because it's a real social ice breaker.

You start to rethink your origional ideals to fit the changes in circumstances which really is quite appropriate.

Married mom of two, DD 17 and DS 13.
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#44 of 46 Old 07-20-2010, 06:16 PM
 
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We have a tv, but it only plays dvds and a Wii. The Wii time is limited to weekend mornings and movies are also for the weekends. The movie thing is a little freer in the summer, but honestly because it's not usually on during the week, we don't usually think of it.
DD is 13. She does have an ipod nano (with a screen) and my sister (without my permission) bought her a nintendo ds. I have to limit the time she can spend with them for the most part, otherwise she would spend way too much time doing that. She didn't have access to them until this past year.
There are so many better ways that she could spend her time. There have been countless studies on why kids should not sit in front of a screen. Doesn't matter if it's watching tv, movie, playing a video game, etc. They are all screens.
I understand the need to chill out once in a while, but not unlimited in our house. It's just what we have chosen. Crafts, walks, sports, talking, reading, playing with friends, bike riding, hiking, art or just relaxing are just a few of the options.

Nothing infuriates me like seeing a child at a play or show with a video game in their hands, completely oblivious to the performance in front of them and the parents say nothing! arrggh.
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#45 of 46 Old 07-22-2010, 02:36 PM
 
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Chiming in, here.
Our situation: single parent of one 9-1/2yo ds. We don't have cable or any screens except my computer and his Nintendo DS. He has a GameBoy which was the DS predecessor, and he keeps it for a backup "just in case" (something happens to the DS). We have two TVs, one in the living room which is connected to a VCR (and a digital box, but we don't get any channels ), and one in his room which has a VCR and a DVD player.

He gets pretty much unlimited screen time. OK, yes, single parent using screens as babysitter but sometimes I gotta do what I gotta do. I can't be, nor do I want to be, playmate most of the time.

Since he gets unlimited screen time, I use it as heavy leverage. It's my bargaining chip. His currency. He has to do chores and be willing/ready to listen to me and fulfill his responsibilities without "wait a minute", or he loses the privilege. Instantly. And he knows it.

Oh, I have a computer, but he's not allowed on the 'net unless he has to, for school, or he wants to look something up. He has a laptop but it's not internet capable unless I buy some special chip or other. He sometimes plays games on it, but more often forgets he has it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
I don't really like the idea of requiring reading before playing. Mainly because I don't want reading to be viewed as the thing they have to put up with to do the thing they want. I don't want a negative association with reading. It's like a punishment. Or forcing kids to eat their vegetables.


But I do force vegetables. I'm not in any way a GD parent, and I told him long ago that my job is to 1) keep him safe and 2) keep him healthy. That includes vegetables. That's just me
Luckily, ds is a willing "food-tryer". He has to try everything. He doesn't have to like everything. I don't make him eat what he doesn't like, but he's a drama king, too, and because of that I will often make him eat whatever (because I know when it's drama, and not genuine dislike).

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Originally Posted by StarChild View Post
Nothing infuriates me like seeing a child at a play or show with a video game in their hands, completely oblivious to the performance in front of them and the parents say nothing! arrggh.
Right?

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#46 of 46 Old 07-22-2010, 02:48 PM
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I don't really like the idea of requiring reading before playing. Mainly because I don't want reading to be viewed as the thing they have to put up with to do the thing they want. I don't want a negative association with reading. It's like a punishment. Or forcing kids to eat their vegetables.
I understand. It's something I struggled with, too, before I implemented it. All kids are different and we all have to figure out what works for the ones we have.

But, let me tell ya, it has actually gotten ds to read a lot more this summer!!! Through kind of "forced" reading, he has discovered how much he loves reading. He'll read for two hours a day now, but not play electronics that long.

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