Do your preteens/teens get an allowance? How is is handled? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 12 Old 06-20-2010, 10:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
mama_ani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,788
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The title sums it up. Is it tied to chores? Just given out? Looking for new ideas because our system of chores and allowance being tied is just not working.

mama to the Girls (15, 14, 13) and the Littles (5, 3) 
mama_ani is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 12 Old 06-21-2010, 12:51 PM
 
chfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: in a red state
Posts: 4,560
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My kids get paid their age. It's not tied to anything but showing up. That is added to a running total in a checkbook register. When they want something in a store, we pay for it and deduct it from their balance. They can "withdraw" cash at anytime.

They also work at jobs around the house and get paid per job.

If they get rid of 25 things, I buy something new of their choice. I don't buy electronics.

They run a petsitting business. They set up a system to re-invest by paying for flyers, treats and toys by putting a percentage of what they earn into savings for the business.

They have a fair amount of money to buy the things they want. They enjoy spending and saving their money. They give regularly to charity and perform public service.

We didn't set up any of the systems. Just gave them the cash and explain how money works.
chfriend is offline  
#3 of 12 Old 06-21-2010, 02:33 PM
 
nd_deadhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Our sons (15-yr-old twins) have gotten an allowance for years. They also do chores, but the two are independent of each other. They get an allowance so they can learn how to manage their own money, and they do chores because they're a part of the family.

Chores include loading/unloading the dishwasher, laundry, shovelling/mowing (depending ont he season), walking/brushing the dog.

Sometimes I'll pay them to do extra things - for example, this summer we're going to have the house re-shingled, and we're tearing off the old shingles ourselves. I'll pay the boys to help.

The last few months I've had them balance my checkbook, so they learn how to do it. It's something DH wishes that he had learned before he left home - he would have saved himself a lot of money in overdraft charges!

If the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

nd_deadhead is offline  
#4 of 12 Old 06-21-2010, 11:40 PM
 
Ornery's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,870
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 14 yo ds just started getting a very small sum of money for allowance every week. He also has an opportunity to earn extra money each week with specific jobs. We've always paid for everything and he has never really needed allowance until this year because he's always gotten money for birthdays and Christmas from family which has covered most of his wants. He's just not a very materialistic kid and doesn't buy much stuff. This year he expressed a want to have more money for buying more junk (things like cheetos or candy or soda - stuff I don't buy) so we worked out a way to satisfy that in a way that still made us comfortable.

He has always been required to do chores like unload/load dishwasher, pick up dog poo, mow lawn, weed eat, occasionally mop floors/vacuum. Basically, if we ask him to do something, he needs to help out as he is part of this family. None of this is tied to allowance. He does lose allowance if he gets "grounded" (meaning no electronics).

For us, chores are a part of living in the house and functioning as a family. Our 6 yo and 4 yo have "chores".
Ornery is offline  
#5 of 12 Old 06-22-2010, 02:05 AM
 
bestjob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 980
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dd (15) gets $10 cash, $10 in her bank account (no debit card yet) and $75 in clothing allowance each month. She's starting her first job in a few weeks and we will talk about the benefits of saving. I think we also might put a small requirement so that she saves the bare minimum and learns how what she does makes a big difference.

Ds (12) gets $10 cash, $10 in the bank, and his clothing allowance ($75) will start in the fall. Again monthly.

Ds (9) gets $10 cash, and $10 in the bank. Also monthly.

Both boys have lobbied to get the same as their sister did at an earlier age. I've held tight because I think of these advances as a right of passage that is earned by both age and patience. Dd will get a debit card when she turns 16, and then it will be easier for her to splurge on a purchase.

These amounts are what we can afford. We are well-to-do but far from rich. Every family should choose the amount for themselves, but I do believe every kid needs some discretionary money.

Chores are done on an as-needed basis. No money attached, except for baking cookies, for which I pay $4/2 dozen, and I provide the ingredients. Why this particular job? I dunno.

I have noticed that on occasion one of the kids will pay another a small fee for doing an assigned duty. I'll note to both parites that it's a Black Market Deal, but it's up to them.

One thing I wish we'd done was what my parents did... discussed the investments for education. My parents made them and talked about them alot. DH and I have been quieter, but have built up a nice beginning for the kids. Now I hope the kids understand the value of these investments.
bestjob is offline  
#6 of 12 Old 06-22-2010, 08:39 AM
 
MizLiz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 527
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 14 and 8 year old kids get $1/week of their age for allowance once a month. Now that I've written it down, it sounds confusing, but it works out to $56 a month for my ds and $32 for dd1. It isn't tied to any chores, but both are expected to help out around the house. They put 10% of their allowance aside for savings. I think it's important to teach them to get in the habit of putting a little something aside instead of spending everything, although I do find it difficult to get them to really buy into the concept of savings. They also make a contribution in an amount of their choice to our family charity jar.

Their allowance covers any of their 'wants', like buying or renting video games or toys. I also have them pay their own library fines with it and my ds uses his to maintain his guitar (strings, etc.). My ds always spends his money and my dd has a lot of cash in the bank.
MizLiz is offline  
#7 of 12 Old 06-22-2010, 03:07 PM
 
heartmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In the bat cave with Irishmommy
Posts: 5,986
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Interesting thread. Several years ago I started to wonder about this. In my favorite books (Little House type stuff) and in other cultures, children are expected to put their own money into the family pot of cash. Everyone contributes, you take care of each other. There is no 'my money/your money'. It always seems like those kids had a strong sense of responsibility and family unity.

We are lower income and we more or less all share the same account. I honestly would have no problem if my ds had a debit card for our main account. He is 14 and I know I could trust him completely. He is very down to earth about money.

For awhile I tried paying him separately and later asked him how it felt when I declined to let him spend his money on us. He said it made him feel bad, like a kid, not important.

Mother is the word for God on the hearts and lips of all little children--William Makepeace Thackeray
heartmama is offline  
#8 of 12 Old 06-27-2010, 11:13 AM
 
guardandolaluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: El Paso, TX
Posts: 50
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by bestjob View Post
Dd (15) gets $10 cash, $10 in her bank account (no debit card yet) and $75 in clothing allowance each month. She's starting her first job in a few weeks and we will talk about the benefits of saving. I think we also might put a small requirement so that she saves the bare minimum and learns how what she does makes a big difference.

Ds (12) gets $10 cash, $10 in the bank, and his clothing allowance ($75) will start in the fall. Again monthly.

Ds (9) gets $10 cash, and $10 in the bank. Also monthly.

Both boys have lobbied to get the same as their sister did at an earlier age. I've held tight because I think of these advances as a right of passage that is earned by both age and patience. Dd will get a debit card when she turns 16, and then it will be easier for her to splurge on a purchase.

These amounts are what we can afford. We are well-to-do but far from rich. Every family should choose the amount for themselves, but I do believe every kid needs some discretionary money.

Chores are done on an as-needed basis. No money attached, except for baking cookies, for which I pay $4/2 dozen, and I provide the ingredients. Why this particular job? I dunno.

I have noticed that on occasion one of the kids will pay another a small fee for doing an assigned duty. I'll note to both parites that it's a Black Market Deal, but it's up to them.

One thing I wish we'd done was what my parents did... discussed the investments for education. My parents made them and talked about them alot. DH and I have been quieter, but have built up a nice beginning for the kids. Now I hope the kids understand the value of these investments.
I love that idea of half going into savings! I also like the clothing allowance. I can't afford to do that much... but it is a great idea for a teen. My dd is always asking for clothes so it is a great way to curb that a bit!
guardandolaluna is offline  
#9 of 12 Old 06-27-2010, 02:26 PM
 
whatsnextmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,971
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
We don't do allowance for our kids 9 and 13. We tried a few times in the past but it never worked. I'd forget. The kids would forget to ask us about it. Months would go by before anyone remembered. I never liked attaching it to daily chores because I felt like chores are part of being in a family. I always felt it was more important for kids this age to volunteer for charities than give money and that's what we do. Plus, they aren't spenders. I give them money and they sock it away. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled they are savers but the point was to teach them how to USE money not for me to hand over money never to be seen again.

My eldest is 13 and has done a lot of professional theatre work the last few years. She has quite a stash in the bank but she only withdrew once to buy herself a laptop (she's had a debit card since age 10.) The only money she'll spend is from cat sitting for the neighbor or smaller denominations of birthday/holiday money (if it comes in check, it's deposited and never seen again... if it's cash, she'll hold onto it.) She rarely ever BUYS things and is not at all impulsive in this reguard. If there is something she wants, she writes a mental note and asks for it for birthday/holidays. The girl has like 70 dollars worth of itunes credit built up from gifts and she's even hesitant to use that! The little money she uses is on outings with friends.

My 9-year-old spends more due to his video game habit but he's pretty smart. He always buys used. He returns games for credit. He saves his portion of the cat sitting money and birthday money to make up the difference. He puts larger quantities in savings. He has a decent wad in the bank for a 9-year-old but he also won't touch that. If he's short of cash, he asks for a paying job that lies outside his normal chore routine. For example, last week he weeded, pruned, fertilized and watered our vegetable garden that desperately needed it and I gave him the 10 bucks. He bought a game he wanted even though he could have withdrawn money from the bank and got it for no work.

I'm not opposed to allowances but it never really worked for us. I'll likely revisit once we see what high school is like for DD in the fall but I'm not sure DD will outgrow her miserly ways.

Married mom of two, DD 17 and DS 13.
whatsnextmom is online now  
#10 of 12 Old 06-27-2010, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
mama_ani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,788
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm trying to figure out what to do for allowances. For the last few months (since March or so) I've been giving $1/week per year of age. They each kept 1/3 for spending, 1/3 for saving (two were saving for camp & one was saving for a missions trip) and 1/3 to charity. It was tied to chores, or was supposed to be anyway. The way it really worked out was more like they got it whether they did their chores or not because I would never remember.
It seems every week I'm handing out extra money for youth group activities or school activities on top of allowances since the spending portion of their money isn't enough to pay for the activities as quickly as they come. I'm having a hard time financially and I think allowances are going to have to get cut. I am feeling really guilty for this but my budget is so tight, eliminating allowances frees up $45/week, which is a significant chunk in my world.
I still want to help them with their activities and hire them to babysit the Littles but I can't do that & pay allowances. I'm just not sure how to make it equal because I certainly can't afford to hire all three of them to babysit just because one makes money babysitting.
I almost wish I had never started this whole allowance thing!

mama to the Girls (15, 14, 13) and the Littles (5, 3) 
mama_ani is offline  
#11 of 12 Old 06-27-2010, 08:21 PM
 
amnesiac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: at the end of the longest line
Posts: 4,879
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 15 year olds get $10/week if they do their chores. If I have to clean the house myself then they don't get paid. If one of them does all the work then he gets the whole $20. Sometimes they will do some extra work for their dad to earn additional $ if they're saving for something special, but that's a rarity. 11 yo doesn't get an allowance yet.

I don't give them a clothing allowance, I just take them school clothes shopping right before school starts & then replace their clothes as they grow out of them etc.
amnesiac is offline  
#12 of 12 Old 06-27-2010, 09:47 PM
 
hsmamato2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 400
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
wow.... not sure where I fall in here, I give a very small amount of fun money so the kids could always have some discretion and learn how to use and (mis)handle their own funds....never tied to chores,but they are expected to do regular daily chores as a part of the household-
my almost 11 y.o gets 3.00 per week,and the 17 y.o. still gets 5.00 a week(mostly from old habits,that one)
I never wanted it to be enough so they could afford every piece of junk their hearts desired every week,just enough to have some pocket change,and an opportunity to save it or spend it as they please.
I've always given it on the 1st of the month,and it's theirs to handle till the next month.
my teen will be getting a p/t job soon,so that bit of play money will be a thing of the past for him.
they can also do odd jobs and make some $$$ if they wish.
We buy all food and clothes in our house,so no issues there.
family outings,etc we pay for. If teen wants an occasional movie out with friends,he has to budget and plan for that movie.
I may raise it a bit for inflation b/c I expect a great deal out of them in the way of responsibility,etc.
I just want to be sure it's LESS than a weekly want (KWIM?) so they need to think about purchases carefully.
I consider it a teaching tool that requires no extra effort from me!
hsmamato2 is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off