Hey everyone - My 10 year old son has asked for his own facebook account, because supposedly all of his friends have one (which kind of surprises me). I'm just curious how other parents feel about this! TIA!
P.S. - Just so you know my answer, I told him I felt he was too young for his own account and that we'll discuss it again in a few more years. Though honestly, absolutely no judgment to those that are ok with it.
Considering my 6 yr old does...yes with constraints. I have the password I check it almost daily I approve all friend requests I sent the security settings
My bet is most friends do. Nathan has many 6-12 yr old friends on his account ALL of which I personally know
FB says no one under 13 years old can have his or her own account, so it would require deceit. I NEVER allow my children to lie or in any other way practice deceit-- it is a road we simply will not go down if we can possibly avoid it.
Another note-- my almost 17 yo also does not have one. He is fine having IRL relationships with his friends and is not so peer-dependant that he feels he simply must do what the others do.
And a final note-- I nearly canceled my own account recently (but decided instead to change my screen name and make all photos of myself and children visible to only myself) after an extremely creepy stalker on a sex offender registry tried to infiltrate my circle of friends, asking about me (I do appear rather young) and also eventually about my children. Creepy!
yes. My oldest was 10 when she got her account. A couple of her friends had them already & now(she's 11) almost all of them do. I know quite a few kids in thier school who are 9-10 who have accounts.
She knows she can only add friends who she knows. She knows I check her facebook periodically. She knows if there's anything I feel is inappropriate it can be taken away. I'm FB friends with alot of her friends too.
Originally Posted by mum4vr
My answer is absolutely NO, and here's why:
FB says no one under 13 years old can have his or her own account, so it would require deceit. I NEVER allow my children to lie or in any other way practice deceit-- it is a road we simply will not go down if we can possibly avoid it.
I voted not sure. My DD is 9, and hasn't really shown an interest in having a FB account. She asked once how old you had to be, and I told her the rules said 13 - and she said, "cool, I thought you had to be like 16 or something."
So, for now, she doesn't seem to care about it. I will reasses it if she asks at another point.
I do know people who's kids have accounts as young as 8, but they limit them so they can only play the games and maybe chat with grandma. I don't see the harm if it's in such a controlled way, yk? It did kinda bug me for a min. when my friend's 9 yo DS sent me a friend request, b/c I was worried about posting something about needed money to be the tooth fairy, or whatever, but she said it was her adding selective friends for him, and that he doesn't see people's statuses anyhow.
And a final note-- I nearly canceled my own account recently (but decided instead to change my screen name and make all photos of myself and children visible to only myself) after an extremely creepy stalker on a sex offender registry tried to infiltrate my circle of friends, asking about me (I do appear rather young) and also eventually about my children. Creepy!
Nope. For simply the reason that I would have to condone a lie were I to allow it.
I'm not too concerned about the creepy stalker issue. My older kids have fb accounts and know how to stay safe online just like they know how to stay safe on the street.
Originally Posted by mum4vr
My answer is absolutely NO, and here's why:
FB says no one under 13 years old can have his or her own account, so it would require deceit. I NEVER allow my children to lie or in any other way practice deceit-- it is a road we simply will not go down if we can possibly avoid it.
My reasoning exactly. If I wasn't familiar with FB rules, then I would let a child of any age attempt to make a new account, being present to make sure that the child entered his or her age accurately (other than having the birthday a day or two off for security reasons.) Then, if the website declined it because the child was too young, that's that.
I had no problem getting Hotmail accounts for my children when they were under 13- I beleive I got the girls' accounts at the same time when they were about 9 and 10, and I got one for DS when he was about 5 or 6 and was capable of reading his own email. My nephew had his own account as an infant. But that's not breaking Hotmail's rules, so I'm OK with that.
If either of my teenagers wanted an FB account, I'd let them, making sure we "friended" each other. If DS wants an account, the answer is "when you turn 13." I do post the occasional message from him on my wall (such as "DS says woof").
I really don't have a problem with a child having a FB account in and of itself- it's easy enough for me to monitor my kids' computer use and control what information goes into their profiles. But I won't have them lying.
First, because facebook itself requires users to be 13.
Second, because a lot of the quizzes and apps are inappropriate for a 10 yo, imo. My 11 yo niece has facebook, and often "likes" groups, bumperstickers, and things that are WAY too sexual in nature for a child. I'm not sure how much she gets it, and I'm hoping it mostly goes over her head
Absolutely not. It's against the rules, and I think the world is a confusing enough place for kids to learn to navigate morality without adults muddying the waters by telling them it's OK to lie.
Yes. I really don't care about the "rules" online honestly..flame away if you must, but Facebook has no real way of enforcing it, and I think it should be up to the parents anyway. My daughter (ten in a month and a half) has one, but I have the password, and have to approve her friends. She knows I read through it every once in awhile to make sure all is well.
I would. I'm not all that fussed about breaking rules based on age discrimination, which I think is wrong anyway, so that part wouldn't bother me. I'm also savvy enough to help my child adjust the settings so that she doesn't have to deal with weird people trying to friend her or anything like that.
For us, facebook has been a nice tool for keeping in touch with people...
My kids all have accounts. My youngest has his set to "friends only" so only his friends can see his posts and pictures and he doesn't accept friend requests from anyone he doesn't already know. It's been a nice way for him to chat and keep up with friends who are out of state. It's also easy for them to share videos or stories of interest through links. And there's an online game that he plays with some of his friends through the site.
I'm not concerned about the rules, either. My son has had a FB account for about a year or so. He wanted one to play scrabble and a couple of games online with me. He has a handful of friends, most are my friends or relatives. None of his friends are on FB yet. I keep an eye on it. At this point he is not even interested in using FB as a social tool. He just likes to play a couple of games a few times a week. His security settings are VERY tight and I have to log in every time FB changes things to make sure he is still secure. He has a photo of hot wheels for a profile pic and no other pics.
No. My daughter is ten, and I have told her when she is thirteen if she is interested she can join, but we will have to come up with age-appropriate guidelines at that time and all of her privacy settings have to be set on "friends only." I am unsure if I will require her to give me the password, if I will require her to my friend (if not then definitely she will need to befriend some of the trusted adults in our life; aunts, other relatives or some of my best friends.) I figure I still have awhile to get that worked out.
Several of dd's friends are on facebook, and I am friends with a few. They have only reaffirmed my feelings that a ten year old should not have an account. I have seen very inappropriate status updates, too much personal info and info on where they can be found on a day to day basis, inappropriate photos, (several of them have very sexualized photos of themselves from a recent group trip to a water park,) and some friends of dd have public profiles that anyone can see. My daughter and I have viewed their profiles together a few times, and I go through and show her what is inappropriate and explain why...in hopes that my daughter will have the tools to protect her online identity when she gets a bit older.
Ds did have a facebook account, but we deactivated it, so I voted other. I don't have facebook anymore either. We just felt that it was getting to be too much. It was causing problems between friends, sucking too much time, and I began to feel uncomfortable about privacy issues. He wasn't even upset about it, he totally understood why, especially since his Dad and I both deactivated our accounts at the same time.
I recently helped my 11 year old open an account--with all settings on either "only me" or "friends only", I have her password and she is friends with me--I also did not allow her to post a profile picture of herself--she put a picture of one of our pets which her real life friends will recognize connected with her name but no one else. I had planned on making her wait (more because she didn't have any real reason to be on facebook rather than the age--to me that should be a parent decision) but her best friend has gone on an 8 week trip to Europe and Africa and facebook has allowed them to keep in touch with each other (a real reason to be on facebook). I was surprised at how many friends her age--and younger--were already on.
Yes. If you say no, they will create it elsewhere. Just tell them not to post pictures about themselves and it should be okay. You can check the account if needed.
Originally Posted by VillageMom6
That's just simply not true. But I hear that rationalization all the time for all sorts of parenting decisions.
Many children obey their parents... especially if they are given a reason why mom and dad feel the way they do.
I agree completely. Making parenting decisions because you figure they won't listen anyway is ridiculous. I expect my children to respect my decisions, and usually they do.
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Related Threads
?
?
?
?
?
Mothering Forum
16.5M posts
285.1K members
Since 1996
A forum community dedicated to all mothers and inclusive family living enthusiasts. Come join the discussion about nurturing, health, behavior, housing, adopting, care, classifieds, and more!