Join Date: Dec 2004
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
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She's only 14 and frankly, if this sort of talk is making her uncomfortable, he needs to take a step back. There isn't anything wrong with her. If she's not ready to say she loves him then she shouldn't say it. Mom really needs to be on her side in this situation. If she feels like you are siding with him she'll run even faster and wall you out completely from the next relationship.
It's pretty frightening to be in a relationship that is racing faster than you are. I wasn't really ready for a boy to profess his love until 16 and I did run from those that tried to do it earlier. Plus, the boys that were pushing the "I love you" stuff were also faster to push sex and I wasn't ready for that either. I didn't meet the love of my life until I was 21 and it's likely, your DD won't find that perfect mate until she's mature and comfortable saying "I love you" too.
When she says it gives her hives (I get exactly what she means here) does she elaborate that she doesn't feel that way about him? I to would shut down when a fun, friendly boyfriend would want MORE from me than I felt for him. If that's how she feels, her convo could be something along the lines of "when you say you love me it makes me uncomfortable because it's not a match to how I feel. I have fun with you and enjoy your company and your friendship, and that is so great for me. I do not want a bigger, overwhelming feeling in my life, I want your friendship, to have fun and be close friends." If he wants more then it's a bust, but maybe he's a boy who, in his youngness, attaches strongly and can or cannot step back a bit when she gives him a way to.
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