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the most important thing to discuss would be that what he did was wrong, not because of what it was or who it was with, but because the person he did it to was not happy with what he did. if someone didn't like being kissed by him, it wouldn't matter whether it was a 4 year old, a 9 year old, or a 90 year old that he kissed.
it's a delicate situation! i think you'll do fine, especially based on your reaction to your younger child!
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