Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Eastern Washington
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I will be cross posting this (homeschooling and preteens/teens) because while it seems a preteen thing--I am not sure if it is actually (in our case) related to homeschooling. Also, I don't want people to just say "put her back in school". . . while that could be an option, neither of us want that right now.
A little background: my currently 10 1/2 yr old dd used to be the "social butterfly"-- she always felt the need to invite everyone to her birthday parties, everyone at the school seemed to know her (she attended ps K- part of gr. 3), and friends made up a big part of her life. When we pulled her out of ps we had a bit of adjustment because she was used to being surrounded by people. She seemed to miss some of the 'buzz' associated with it, but def. liked eliminating the backstabbing, groupie, cliche behavior. Soon, she had figured out whom she really liked hanging out with and we made plenty of opportunities for that. We also let her do summer camps that she had interest in, and she has been involved in community theater & girl scouts for a number of years.
Recently, she has taken to "holing" up in her room. She would read 24/7 if I would let her. That and use the computer. She doesn't want to invite friends over. She has turned down several opportunities to hang out with her friends. She has no explanation except that she doesn't feel like it. However, when her sister has friends over, she sort of 'takes over' the play date. My own theory is that she likes to be boss and the younger girls let her. Also, when she has 'had enough', she can retreat without causing a problem. And, this is more than odd because she used to prefer the company of slightly older or at least more mature kids. She also used to get annoyed with her sister's friends.
She used to spend the summer with friends, biking, going to the beach, reading, playing outside, and swimming. Now, she is outside when I make her. She loves her horse lessons, but that is it. We have several camping trips planned and she seems to come alive during these. Our last trip was a multi family camping trip with some friends of ours. She had a blast--seemed like her old self, played with lots of kids (all ages).
So, I don't know if this is a result of homeschooling (does she not feel like she has anything in common anymore), puberty (no boobs or height or anything yet--just this attitude), or depression.
What would you do, if anything at all?
Mom to three very active girls Anna (14), Kayla (12), Maya (8).