positive stories about brothers - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 09-11-2010, 06:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there,
I have two boys, a toddler and a baby boy due soon. So I know this forum is w-a-y ahead of me right now! I'm just really curious what life is like with two boys as they get into their teenage and college years. In particular, I'm wondering what the brother-brother relationship is like. I have a brother, my husband has sisters, and I actually don't know anyone who has only two boys, or who grew up only with brothers! So the whole boy boy thing is totally new to me. I'm loving the idea of it right now, but I'm still absolutely curious about what it's like as they get older, into college even and beyond. Do boys bond with each other as they get older? Do they bond with their mothers? I'm not stressed or anything, just curious! Thanks for any thoughts!
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#2 of 11 Old 09-11-2010, 01:39 PM
 
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I have a brother, so we are the typical brother sister thing.

My husband had a brother (he passed away at age 24) . My best friend has two grown sons.

They play great together, but when they are pre-teens and teens, they fight. Sometimes it's roughhousing, but they fight BIG. Like breaking the kitchen table kind of fighting. Everyone I know who has two sons has lost furniture to them and their wrestling and fighting. So, don't get too attached to anything in your house until they move out.

They back each other up. They will not tattle on each other. So, if you suspect one has been drinking or out past curfew, don't expect the other to rat him out... he's going to either "check into it" and ignore you, or flat out refuse to tell you. But, even then, you know the bad one will be OK, because the good one will knock some sense into him. Then, a few weeks later the bad one is good and the good one is bad... so, it evens out.

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero." ~Marc Brown
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#3 of 11 Old 09-11-2010, 01:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
I have a brother, so we are the typical brother sister thing.

My husband had a brother (he passed away at age 24) . My best friend has two grown sons.

They play great together, but when they are pre-teens and teens, they fight. Sometimes it's roughhousing, but they fight BIG. Like breaking the kitchen table kind of fighting. Everyone I know who has two sons has lost furniture to them and their wrestling and fighting. So, don't get too attached to anything in your house until they move out.

They back each other up. They will not tattle on each other. So, if you suspect one has been drinking or out past curfew, don't expect the other to rat him out... he's going to either "check into it" and ignore you, or flat out refuse to tell you. But, even then, you know the bad one will be OK, because the good one will knock some sense into him. Then, a few weeks later the bad one is good and the good one is bad... so, it evens out.

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero." ~Marc Brown
Aww, this quote almost made me cry!

I have 2 boys, 7 and 9.5. It's amazing

They aren't teens yet, so I don't know how that will play out, but I love watching the boys together. No one can make the other laugh as hard as their brother can. They talk about Star Wars interminably together. They say "love you" to each other all the time. And yes, they roughhouse, but I guess that's just part of it.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a daughter, or for my boys to have a sister, but I have to say, having two boys is really amazing.

Mama to my 2 boys
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#4 of 11 Old 09-11-2010, 02:08 PM
 
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I have an older girl, and two boys who are 14 months apart. The boys are best friends and best competitors already at ages 1 and 2. They fight over all the little stuff, and when one cries or is upset, the other is the first to let you know- followed by going over to pat his brother on the back- even when the other is crying because one of them hit the other with a toy car.

We are still pretty early in the brother journey with them.

My DH has 2 brothers- and is very close with one of them. The other is nearly 20 years older, and they are not as close. Right now, DH is actually staying with his brother while he is looking for our new house- a long way from home. They are great support for each other, but are also so blunt that they can tell each other off for being dense about something. It works for them.
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#5 of 11 Old 09-11-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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My boys are 17 and 12 this week.

Most of the PP's comments hold true here, except the tattling thing. My 12 yo is the family informer (prolly bc he is financially savvy and I pay for info that is worth it-- not "he hid my shoes," but more like "he's lying to you about that girl").

Anyway-- we have no broken furniture yet, but there have been close calls. They rough house REALLY REALLY rough. (This I do not "get"-- hurt each other for fun? See who can withstand what amount of pain? Excess testosterone IMO).

Anyway, they certainly do bond with each other, but it is principally via pain infliction of some kind, also via time spent "being men" (expressing their version of the male hunter-gatherer thing, like camping in a nylon tent from walmart, LOL), doing gross things (again IMO; like trapping the neighbor's rats from their retaining wall-- WHU WHU WHU-- we are men!), and ensuring that their room always smells like boy BO or gym sox (why? is this bonding? but to them it is.)

They also bond with mom great (at least at my house). They both still hug me in public, at school, wherever. I am the only one who gets "I love you" texts from them.
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#6 of 11 Old 09-11-2010, 03:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ha ha, these are great posts! I remember totally rough housing with my brother when we were like 12-16 (I'm a girl) and we broke furniture! I'd forgotten about that, and am glad to be reminded that it might come around again!

So sweet to hear about the affectionate boys with their mamas. I am hoping that our early attachment parenting will be a solid foundation for bonding and affection as they grow older. My mother and I were never close so I don't have a model for mother-daughter bonding, but I hear about it as something really special and am hoping we can nurture that as mother-son bonding.

RE bonding via pain infliction: I am reminded of a Seinfeld episode where the men would give each other big bear hugs with lots of pounding on their backs, and Seinfeld analyzed it as a guy thing: "I'm hugging, but I'm hitting!"

I also love this quote: "Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero." ~Marc Brown Now, I didn't know who Marc Brown is so I looked it up - he's the author of the Arthur books. Of course, I didn't know who Arthur was, either! Turns out he's an 8 year old aardvark. Cute!

I do know that friends who have only little boys have been asked, repeatedly, if they feel their family is "complete" without a little girl, if they'll be trying for a girl, if they were disappointed that their second was a boy, etc. What is up with that? I don't understand.
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#7 of 11 Old 09-19-2010, 04:51 PM
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I have two boys, ages 16 and 13 (sister in the middle who is 15).

They get along famously. The loved to be together. Sure the age difference and maturity level can be obvious sometimes - but they really get along well. The oldest sometimes picks at the youngest - normal stuff. The youngest sometimes gets tired of the oldest being bossy.....but for the most part - it's all good.

As a matter of fact - they each have their own rooms and chose to sleep in each others room during the weekends. When the youngest is at a sleepover the oldest clearly misses him.....

Trying to do the right thing with three kids and a hubby. 
ds20, dd18, ds17
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#8 of 11 Old 09-19-2010, 05:03 PM
 
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makes me want a boy



Candice, mom to three girls
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#9 of 11 Old 09-23-2010, 12:09 AM
 
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DS (9 yo) plays rep hockey. His biggest fan is DS (12 yo) who analyses every play. Younger brother is very interested in older brother's karate and cross country activities.

They battle and bug. I'm not sure how they'll end up. I just know they love each other and will even sometimes say it out loud.

They have an older sister who is 15 yo, and they adore her, but they still have special brotherly bond.
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#10 of 11 Old 09-23-2010, 03:56 AM
 
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My brother is my best friend (well one of them, but a main one). Ok, yeah there was the whole "picking on each other for the fun and fights to blow off steam" thing, but mostly our relationship was really close. I mean really, he's the guy you can trust to be there for you even if you had a scuffle earlier and given him a black eye. (Accidentally of course).

malesling.GIFMutant Papa to DD (12)hippie.gif and DS (2)babyf.gif, married to DHribbonrainbow.gif
If it looks like I'm trying to pick a fight... I'm not, I'm rarely that obvious.hammer.gif
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#11 of 11 Old 09-28-2010, 12:00 AM
 
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My partner and his brother (3ys younger) had to deal with a very violent upbringing, and my honey was the protector. When they got away from that they had several years where they fought terribly, like chase each other around the truck wielding a fire poker, throwing a dresser across the room at each other, rolling all out brawl fist-fighting (until early 20's). but if we were to subtract those aspects, these 2 are They spent tons of time exploring the prairie together where they lived, had the same group of friends and taught each other how to play guitar. They are 39 & 42 now, and they still play music together, brag each other up, hug, say 'i love you' every time they talk on the phone. well, we live together now, but before that they got together at least 1-2 times a week - one of the reasons we found a house together. I am so happy to have this example for my kids because I have no siblings. The funny thing is they were brought up so macho/stereotypical southern 'redneck' with all the prejudices, and they chose to find their own beliefs and start showing each other affection, and got their granddad turned around so he lets them hug him now too.
They sing together, they cook for each other, they share books, talk for hours in the living room.
Love it love it love it.

Heather, mama to Harriet, Crispin, in with Tom and 2
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