(I am 16, so I'll first just give a little synopsis of teen behavior that I am familiar with)
Well, first of all, while I don't watch cops, or "when animals attack", I know plenty of teens who do. Personally, I hate these shows, but hey, to each his own.
As for the pointing out random sights, and repeating jokes all day long... well, I do that! I usually read things aloud when they make no sense, or just remind me of something funny... (I often verbalize my desire to vandalize those red signs that read "End Construction", by adding a "Now!" at the end). And if something is funny, most teens I know subscribe to the theory that is is inherently funny, and therefore can be alluded to whenever possible.
Chances are, he is uncomfortable around you. Give it time. Additional chances are, you share some interest or another... most people do. Try and find out what it is. beyond that, try and be interesting in things you are otherwise ambiguous towards, to make a connection. You are in a difficult situation, but I think there's a good chance you'll be able to enjoy your time with him...
I don't know what to say about the stealing... so I won't say anything.
best of luck!!!