Help a 17yr old high school guy is interested in my 13 year old? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 92 Old 04-08-2011, 11:27 AM
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As far as the Keiser Family Foundations study about peer pressure, I would take those surveys with a grain of salt because often their are not answered honestly & I don't think a lot of teens take them seriously. Also as far as actually being pressured into sex who says it's the girl being pressured, i didn't see where it said. The study I read said that more teen boys felt pressured than girls. As a teen I was a year younger than my boyfriend & pressured him, yes it's not nice but I was a hormonal teen. I'm just not sure why the boy is being turned into the big bad wolf when we don't even know he's done anything wrong. There are many many boys 17yr & over that do not feel ready to have sex yet. The one 1 dated for instance & my hubby was in his 20's. If he does wanted to date her & that's a big if maybe that is part of the reason. Maybe he feels pressured by girls his own age.


Also with all the medical advances I hardly doubt a 13yr old having a baby would kill her as someone else said. In some other cultures & states it is legal to get married at 13 & very common practice in early times. I definitely don't think 13yr olds should get married but it just shows how some think differently of maturity. She shouldn't be treated like a child because she isn't & she shouldn't be treated like an adult because she isn't that either. There needs to be a happy medium.  Just because she's 13 doesn't mean she can't make some good decisions & needs to be given the chance to with guidance. The only way you can possibly know what she is thinking & feeling is by talking to her & meeting her halfway. Between the two of you you should be able to come up with a solution you both can live with. At some point she'll be moved out of the house & you want her to be able to make good decisions on her own.

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#92 of 92 Old 04-25-2011, 11:04 PM
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16 yo is the age of consent for both sexes where I live.  I have a younger teen girl and older teen boys.  My daughter luckily thinks its weird that a lot of girls at school are only interested in older boys.  I daresay she'll get over that attitude sometime soon.  The boys are older and I have had conversations with them about dating younger girls as they got older.  It is actually quite hard for boys when they are 'just over the line' of being an adult.  Often most of their friends are younger and therefore 'children.'  Eventually their friends also get older, and they meet other young adults, but initially it can be a lonely time. 

I think I would be having a discussion with my daughter first if it was me.  And I might even suggest to her that I'd like to sit down with them both and tell them my concerns, and hear what their views are? 

Back on the first page a lot of people were saying that a 13 yo girl doesn't need a phone and that she can borrow other people's phones if she needs to.  Yep, she can and will - she'll use their phones to call the boy in question as well! 

Honestly I think the two things you can and should do is talk to your daughter and perhaps pray a lot as well!  Even tho she may be pretty ticked at you now, I would ask if we could set up a time to air our grievances;  and at that time you get to say what you think - she can't respond, just listen.  And then vice versa - you cannot respond, just listen.  It is so hard to just bite your tongue.  But if you listen to what they have to say you don't have to agree with them, but you can often see how they feel.  Making an effort to patch up your relationship now means that you will have a bigger part in her teens than you might have if you don't listen to what's important to her now.  Ali

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