plans for high school - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 02-26-2011, 10:45 AM - Thread Starter
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My child has gone to magnet schools most of her life. She is doing music and performing arts. My daughter has played the violin since kindergarten. not only that, she self-taught herself to play acoustic guitar and keyboard. Her violin playing is smooth and kinda sounds like Izaak Perlman.

Her father and I would like for her to pursue her music in a magnet high school and my daughter would like to go to that school also.Trouble is she is not focusing on her classes and she is rebelling her teachers and us.

In my experience, public high school destroyed my hopes and plans for the future.It wasn't the teacher's doing, it was some students' low self-esteem. What can I do to help my daughter take her education seriously?

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#2 of 4 Old 02-27-2011, 04:07 PM
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I found, with both of mine, that it helped to remind them that the better they do at each level, the greater the options will be as they move on. Both had/have goals that they were striving for, so keeping that in mind helped them focus when things weren't as much fun or as interesting as they'd have liked them to be.


My oldest, while very bright, has always been one to kind of skate by when something didn't interest him. Reminding him to focus on his goal helped him at least do better than "well enough". And it's served him very well. He's attending an excellent university/conservatory, with a free ride except for room/board, studying what he's always wanted to study (Music Comp). He actually didn't make it into that program the first go-round. But by keeping his eye on that goal, he worked his butt off and was recommended for it by several of his first term profs.


I assume, since your daughter wants to go to a performing arts magnet, she has some thought of going to a conservatory. While grades/scores are not AS important, they do still matter - and could make the difference between getting in and not. And... remembering that there are few slots with many talented musicians... having those grades will at least provide options should she not get into her desired program the first time around.

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#3 of 4 Old 02-28-2011, 10:54 AM
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I work with jr/sr high school students and a couple things stick out in your post.  First of all what does your child want to do.  At some point the school/classes need to become their decision.  You said you and dh want her to pursue music at a magnet HS, what does your child want?  Does she want the music school. public school. or something else?  Just because she is 'good' at something doesn't mean she wants to decidate many hours a day/week to it.

High school is a time for many kids to have self discovery and really find out who they are.  There is also a great deal of maturity that happens between 9th and 12th grades.


I would say to tour several different HS options and listen to what your child has to say.

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#4 of 4 Old 02-28-2011, 09:55 PM
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Zebra makes a good point. I was operating under the assumption that this is something your daughter wants to do. And it has to be something SHE wants.While I would have been thrilled if my son wanted to go to the Science/Math magnet, it wasn't something HE wanted. He wanted more options, more choices, more possibilities. And Thank God! Because the magnet would not have been a good fit for him.


I know this because my daughter is there. And as great a fit as it is for her, he'd have been miserable.


At the end of the day, you need to let her go where she feels a connection. You'll find the same thing at the next stage - when you're looking at colleges.

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