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#61 of 74 Old 04-09-2011, 07:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Karalina View Post


The motto- "If you can't beat 'em Join 'em " has been going through my head.

 We have been listening to all of his music. And we have been getting along better than we have in forever. He is hugging me, and even came up and kissed the top of my head as I was typing this. So what if there's bleeped out bad words or occasional not-beeped out bad words- he is not taking this seriously--- I truly feel like i have busted through a huge barrier, and your viewpoints here helped to support me to do that. Thank you.


That...is so cool.

 

Also, Kurt Cobain, if we're tossing out people whose music is better than whatever is going on today. And Queen.  :)

 


~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#62 of 74 Old 04-10-2011, 11:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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WoW! we digress- or at least change the subject!!

This wasn't started as a critique on modern music- maybe that conversation can be bumped???

This was a thread about letting/ or not letting our children hear Top 40 or any other inappropriate music-------------- I could care less than less if it is auto-tune or acoustic real time voice--- it is what is said and how it will affect my child------------------------

And those of you who have "compliant" or easy- natured or whatever you would like to call themtype of children-- i have 2 of those types BTW---- and  those of you who have much younger kids---- you may be talking a different talk when they get to be a tween- or teen- IF you want to maintain a relationship with your child---- I used to think the exact same thing- 11 years ago--- HA! My agenda got me nowhere but totally frustrated and angry-- and distant from my children.  Do be careful of your own agenda---- I fairly well shoved mine down everyone's throats and it didn't go over so well- once my DS got old enough to have a say so----but it was nice while it lasted.........

I guess I've come to the conclusion that i'd rather have a close relationship with my child--- than forbid him from music that he likes loves and is everywhere around him in our particular lives-

And believe me I thought of running from our culture- but surprise- they play our music all over the world and watch our movies too------

 

I have to say after having flipped out about the whole music thing- i have come to a sense of peace about it and i have faith my DS will be fine--- now bc I have chosen to allow the music (the radio) and the cleaned up versions--- I know what the songs are that he is listening to and we can discuss them if need be- i have found out through all of this that he doesn't even know what the songs are talking about mostly- even though he knows the words-- crazy but true------

 

the beautiful thing about parenting is we are all free to choose how to raise our own kids and how to negotiate the rough times--  and then we can always learn and change ad infinitum--- this is what makes parenting such a wonderful process for healing and growth-----


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#63 of 74 Old 04-10-2011, 11:34 PM
 
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I haven't read the whole thread, but hun, music has been and forever will be, be about sex, drugs and rock n roll. There is nothing new here.  Its just music.

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#64 of 74 Old 04-11-2011, 01:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AllyRae View Post

It's a good lesson for him to learn.  Unfortunately, 10 isn't too young.  I've seen children as young as 11 and 12 being abused by their "boyfriends".  I just helped teach a self defense class to a bunch of girl scouts, ages 6-12.  And a lot of the girls on the older end of that spectrum knew friends who had been hit by a "boyfriend" (I put it in quotes because I don't know that I consider children that age to be coupled.)

 

So, it's not too young for that conversation... :(



I agree it isn't to young, nor should it be about boys hitting girls.

 

My just turned 13 year old was laughing with about her friends because "so-in-so" gave their boyfriend a black eye.  After getting the scoop on the situation, I pointed out to the girls it wasn't funny.  Their "friend" is abusive. Nobody, of any gender has a right to act like the girl was. 

 

My dh and I are concerned about early "dating" or pairing up.  These preteens and young teens don't have the skill.  We have seen and heard of some weird stuff.  My 13 year old has talked about one situation were the girl was spreading rumor the guy was gay because he wouldn't let her touch him (privates).  I asked my dd why this guy was less of a "man" because he wasn't ready for sex.  That situation shows more what is wrong with her not him.  I also let her know, not all boys are physically mature at that age.  I asked dd how she would have felt if the guy put pressure on her to let him touch when she wasn't ready.  There is one girl at the school that got suspended because she thought it was funny and OK to grab boys crotches.

 

My dh and I have both corrected our dd because she said she was going to hit a boy upside the head, because he hung up on her.  We were like WTF.  We asked her what she was going to do when and if he hits back.  We chalanged her to think about the appropriateness of her "idol" talk.  

 

There is a lot of peer pressure to grow up way to fast.  

 

I have talked to abuse, cycle of abuse, with our kids.  We have made the decision gender neutral, I would hate my kids to get into a same sex relationship, and them to feel their was no way out or it couldn't happen to them.   

 

We have used songs like Good Bye Earl by Dixie Chicks to "I like the way you lie" ...............one long on going conversation about abuse and how to have respectful relationship.  The songs mention are new but there have many songs Carry Underwood and Miranda Lambert both have songs that started conversations. There has been other songs but at 2AM they are not coming to my mind.  In part, I think it is because we don't generally listen to the music that has a lot domestic violence.  

 

One person mentioned Glenn ******.  I have to remind that person that "In the Mood" is just about that ;)  Lot of Ragtime and Blues has sexual and/or violent lyrics.

 

We have had talked about Rhiana's S&M song.  Dh and I remember "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me." from our younger years.  What you do in your bedroom is your business.  Some people like that stuff and there is nothing wrong as long as it is mutually agreed to and in a "safe" environment.  S&M is not new or from one culture you can find it through out http://www.wellcome.ac.uk/en/pain/microsite/culture1.html  My kids heard me talk about "little Nikki" and how my mom handled it compared to a friend of mine.  I learned what Trojans were and responcible sex.  

 

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#65 of 74 Old 04-11-2011, 07:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by NannyMcPhee View Post

I haven't read the whole thread, but hun, music has been and forever will be, be about sex, drugs and rock n roll. There is nothing new here.  Its just music.



Always and forever, really?

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#66 of 74 Old 04-11-2011, 08:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Marsupialmom View Post


 



Dh and I remember "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me." 

 


After reading this thread, I went and looked up the lyrics to this song, because I'd never heard it (I'm not a Rhiana fan). I read this part and started giggling inside, because tons of people I know used to say this. It was a joke. And it might be a joke to her. . .or she could be into that, but whatever.
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#67 of 74 Old 04-18-2011, 12:28 PM
 
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Haha, I love the S&M song...so does my 7 year old nanny boy (his parents let him listen to whatever is on the radio) horrors.gif Ke$ha is on frequent repeat too. 

 

OP, I'm glad you have worked it out with your DS! When I was 12, my mom found "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy on one of my mix cds and instead of freaking out, we listened to it in the car on the way to school every day (hey, it's catchy!). My brother is older than me, and he moved back home for awhile when he was 19 and I was 10. We listened to all sorts of dirty (uncensored!) music. My favorite? "Caress me down" by Sublime. Go look up the lyrics, haha. I'm a very well-adjusted adult and I thought I was just the coolest 10 year old EVER. 


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#68 of 74 Old 04-18-2011, 12:57 PM
 
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That's one of my favorite Sublime songs. And, yes, it comes up on the Ipod when the kids are in the room. Oh well. lol.gif. The love Sublime.
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#69 of 74 Old 04-18-2011, 04:06 PM
 
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We love all music and so censorship won't happen to often around here when it comes to music. However I wouldn't be above buying the clean radio edits either. One thing I think and I do it still to this day. I hear a song and know the words but I don't actually listen to the words till much later. Its the tune that grabs me first 9 out of 10 times. So its possible that your child could be doing the same thing. 

 

I look back at a lot of the music I listened to like She's Got Skillz by All 4 One and I loved that song when it first came out. it wasn't till a few summers ago when the words actually hit me and I looked over at DH and was like do you know what this song is about and I knew all the words. And I really am not all that dense. But it was the beat that got me to like it. 

 

 

I also believe that even the worse of songs can have a good meaning teaching moment behind them as well as what one song means to me can mean totally something else to the next person. 

So for that we won't censor to much when it comes to music because. I watched DH's dad try it. I mean he even tossed out my CDs that DH then BF had in his car because it wasn't Christian Music. He went way overboard IMO. My parents were the ones that for the part raised us on all types of music. For us music is art even when its crap music at times. 

DH and I always joke about what nursing homes are going to sound like by the time our generation, shoot even our parent's generation get there because right now walk into most nursing homes and they are listening to Polka and Big Band type music. Our generation its going to be Metallica, System of the Down, Korn, Tool, GnR, Zeplin, The Doors and so on. We used to work in a nursing home so we listened to a lot of polka which I love as well..lol

 

But the bottom line is IMO is its not the music or movies or games that shape our children its us as parents and how we chose to react to thing we don't always agree with. 

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#70 of 74 Old 04-18-2011, 04:16 PM
 
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Always and forever, really?



I should of said pop music.

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#71 of 74 Old 04-18-2011, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by new2this View Post

We love all music and so censorship won't happen to often around here when it comes to music. However I wouldn't be above buying the clean radio edits either. One thing I think and I do it still to this day. I hear a song and know the words but I don't actually listen to the words till much later. Its the tune that grabs me first 9 out of 10 times. So its possible that your child could be doing the same thing. 

 

I look back at a lot of the music I listened to like She's Got Skillz by All 4 One and I loved that song when it first came out. it wasn't till a few summers ago when the words actually hit me and I looked over at DH and was like do you know what this song is about and I knew all the words. And I really am not all that dense. But it was the beat that got me to like it. 

 

 

I also believe that even the worse of songs can have a good meaning teaching moment behind them as well as what one song means to me can mean totally something else to the next person. 

So for that we won't censor to much when it comes to music because. I watched DH's dad try it. I mean he even tossed out my CDs that DH then BF had in his car because it wasn't Christian Music. He went way overboard IMO. My parents were the ones that for the part raised us on all types of music. For us music is art even when its crap music at times. 

DH and I always joke about what nursing homes are going to sound like by the time our generation, shoot even our parent's generation get there because right now walk into most nursing homes and they are listening to Polka and Big Band type music. Our generation its going to be Metallica, System of the Down, Korn, Tool, GnR, Zeplin, The Doors and so on. We used to work in a nursing home so we listened to a lot of polka which I love as well..lol

 

But the bottom line is IMO is its not the music or movies or games that shape our children its us as parents and how we chose to react to thing we don't always agree with. 

that is EXACTLY how I listen to music! DH cannot believe I can hum the tune of pretty much anything hearing it once but some of my "favorite" songs I barely know the words to!
 

 

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#72 of 74 Old 04-18-2011, 07:34 PM
 
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I should of said pop music.



Just pop?

 

How about this...

 

There will always be music that is about sex, drugs and rock and roll, but there will always be music that isn't too.


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#73 of 74 Old 04-18-2011, 08:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post





Just pop?

 

How about this...

 

There will always be music that is about sex, drugs and rock and roll, but there will always be music that isn't too.



And there will always be people who get their panties in a bunch about the debil music kids are listening to these days. biglaugh.gif

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#74 of 74 Old 04-18-2011, 09:09 PM
 
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And there will always be people who get their panties in a bunch about the debil music kids are listening to these days. biglaugh.gif


Until I point out how raunchy and dirty and sexist the music they listened to was.

 


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