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#1 of 77 Old 06-09-2011, 08:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When does this happen? I feel OLD on here lately, but mostly when I peek in on the age range of my youngest?? Give me some warning -this has been my go to site for awhile...

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#2 of 77 Old 06-10-2011, 03:49 AM
 
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Maybe you're now into the sage advice giving stage?

I've found that I no longer visit any of the baby and toddler stage forums. I've definately aged out of them, since my youngest 7 yrs old. I am however entering the preteen and teen, with a little bit of childhood years. The special needs parenting board is part of my daily visit as well. I know that there are times that I feel old here with all the baby goings on! lol.gif

 
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#3 of 77 Old 06-10-2011, 06:50 AM
 
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I HAVE aged out of the parenting forums.  I check in here to see if I can give advice, but I can offer no help for the moms of younger children.  I either can't remember clearly, or the advice is outmoded. 

 

I stick pretty much to the Mindful Home, Books, and TAO areas.  I am not ready to give up completely, but I do find that I have less to offer as time goes by.  Where do we go, though?

 

 

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#4 of 77 Old 06-10-2011, 09:26 AM
 
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My youngest is 12 & other than this one, which I don't check all that often, I don't generally look at any of the parenting forums anymore. I do enjoy all of the health related forums except TCAC & many of the Natural Family Living forums even though I read more than I post.
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#5 of 77 Old 06-11-2011, 09:15 AM
 
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Yeah, I feel old here too. Been here a long time and not ready to say "goodbye", but my kids are 19, 15, 12, and 8 and have mostly btdt as far as many of the topics. i still do like the homeschooling forums as I am still actively doing that, and the natural living stuff.

Maybe there should be an eventual "grandmothering" forum!joy.gif
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#6 of 77 Old 06-11-2011, 05:06 PM
 
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I feel like I've pretty much aged out, even though my youngest is still a toddler. The world is a very different place than it was when my 22 and 19 year olds were kids so not much of the advice I have to give is relevant and the perspective my years and experience give me on raising the toddler makes me so different from the other parents of kids his age that my advice isn't welcomed by them. I stopped posting regularly about a year or two ago and mostly use it as a reference library.

 

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#7 of 77 Old 06-13-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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There are only a few boards here that I check.

 

With the baby, toddler, and little kid stuff, I really just don't care any more. I really don't have the energy to type up a post about flying with toddlers or any of that.

 

I am a regular on the special needs board, and about the only long time mothering.com member with an older SN kid.

 

I enjoy some of the general topics on the parenting board.

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but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#8 of 77 Old 06-13-2011, 12:56 PM
 
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 This board was great for a while, and frankly I often felt challenged and stretched, and learned a lot.  It was all good, even when I didn't agree.  But not much happening lately, and I hate the new format.

 

The SN forum has been very cool.  Lots of good support there when I was looking for it. 

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#9 of 77 Old 06-13-2011, 05:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noordinaryspider View Post

I feel like I've pretty much aged out, even though my youngest is still a toddler. The world is a very different place than it was when my 22 and 19 year olds were kids so not much of the advice I have to give is relevant and the perspective my years and experience give me on raising the toddler makes me so different from the other parents of kids his age that my advice isn't welcomed by them. I stopped posting regularly about a year or two ago and mostly use it as a reference library.

 



I agree, many first round parents don't really want BTDT advice unless it's very, very recent experience. Most of us who have teenagers are looking back and thinking "what the heck were we so worked up about!" Any attempt to calm or put things in long-term perspective is taken with offense. 

 

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#10 of 77 Old 06-13-2011, 05:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post





I agree, many first round parents don't really want BTDT advice unless it's very, very recent experience. Most of us who have teenagers are looking back and thinking "what the heck were we so worked up about!" Any attempt to calm or put things in long-term perspective is taken with offense. 

 


That's so true!  There are days when I fondly remember when the biggest issues facing me as a parent was whether my kids had too many toys, or what their baby doll was made out of.  I want to say "Just love your kids, make a community for yourself, and don't sweat the small stuff.  It all goes by so fast."

 

 

 

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#11 of 77 Old 06-13-2011, 08:29 PM
 
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Mine are 8 and 11. I left for quite a while, then returned and am enjoying the childhood and preteen/teen forums. I guess I felt pretty on top of parenting issues for a few years and now I feel I want to think through some of the teen issues before mine get there in a year or two. I also enjoy the frugality, decluttering and food-related threads, though.


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#12 of 77 Old 06-15-2011, 06:24 AM
 
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Another "old one" and I've wondered this too! I don't go on the baby forums either. The forums I check out this one, Parenting, Natural Family Living and Health and Nutrition. I would like to go on the Education forum but even there most of the threads are about younger children.

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#13 of 77 Old 06-15-2011, 01:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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See - my youngest is 4 and I still have questions about having a 4 year old - I have done it twice already, but he is so different than his brothers so we are still learning what works for him together...but then I get there (to those pages/threads) and I feel so old (not in my age, but in my parenting)

 

Recently there was an extended discussion of an issue impacting 3 & 4 year olds and many of the participants had only one child who was under 2 and they were sharing their "ideology" on the subject with real passion and I just checked out...started telling my dh about some of the advice and he was laughing and giving me not very "MDC" responses ;)

 

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone - I AM NOT THAAAT OLD - maybe I will focus my attention on Natural Family Living :)  Not to mention - maybe there have been some books written on the subjects I am wondering about since my 8 year old was 4??? That is right...for the first time...I am going it sort of alone in the advice department ;)

 

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#14 of 77 Old 06-15-2011, 02:53 PM
 
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and it's really really tough to have a discussion with someone who has passionate ideology but no real experience putting that ideology in practice. Ideology can be PERFECT but life doesn't get to be. We also get wrapped up in the notion of this "ideal childhood" before we really understand that "ideal" is all relative to the child in question. What is happy, rewarding and keeps you on the straight and narrow for one child isn't neccessarily the same for another.... even if they come from the same family!

 

I know I was full of beliefs before I had kids and when they were infants/toddlers. It seems really easy when you are reading books about childrearing. However, most of the beliefs I had went right out the window when I realized they were wrong for my own children or just plain old impractical to keep up with.

 

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post

See - my youngest is 4 and I still have questions about having a 4 year old - I have done it twice already, but he is so different than his brothers so we are still learning what works for him together...but then I get there (to those pages/threads) and I feel so old (not in my age, but in my parenting)

 

Recently there was an extended discussion of an issue impacting 3 & 4 year olds and many of the participants had only one child who was under 2 and they were sharing their "ideology" on the subject with real passion and I just checked out...started telling my dh about some of the advice and he was laughing and giving me not very "MDC" responses ;)

 

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone - I AM NOT THAAAT OLD - maybe I will focus my attention on Natural Family Living :)  Not to mention - maybe there have been some books written on the subjects I am wondering about since my 8 year old was 4??? That is right...for the first time...I am going it sort of alone in the advice department ;)

 



 


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#15 of 77 Old 06-15-2011, 07:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

There are only a few boards here that I check.

 

With the baby, toddler, and little kid stuff, I really just don't care any more. I really don't have the energy to type up a post about flying with toddlers or any of that.

 

I am a regular on the special needs board, and about the only long time mothering.com member with an older SN kid.

 

I enjoy some of the general topics on the parenting board.


I love having support from moms, especially with older kids, in all the forums, but in the SNP forum, it's like having a fairy godmother! lol.gif Truly, it seems like the preteen/teen age is x10 with special needs kids. dizzy.gif

 
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#16 of 77 Old 06-18-2011, 05:25 AM
 
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I think I am aging out of this board as well.  It happens, many others have 'aged' out of here before.  When my kids were younger, reading about others experiences and their advice in GD was, for the most part, fantastic and I think it really helped support me to become a better parent.  Now I read occasionally in the older childhood forums and in TAO, but really, I mostly still miss the old War & Politics forum. 

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#17 of 77 Old 06-19-2011, 09:56 AM
 
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I think another reason is after you've been here a while, you see the same post topics so many times (like "Should I stop taking my kids to my parents' house because they did X?" or "Is my child delayed because he hasn't done X, Y and Z yet?" or  "Is my child gifted because he has done X, Y and Z already?") that you just can't bring yourself to read or answer anymore? It's not that I think people shouldn't write those posts, because I remember being one of the ones posting "Is my child delayed..." and I needed the support from those responses, but right now, I just don't feel like I can offer advice. Part of it is that I can't really remember when my kids did X, Y and Z anymore and part of it is I don't feel like the things I can remember, like about when my preemie was born 11 years ago, are really relevant to someone with a preemie in the hospital now. When my son was born in 2000, I don't think I would have found info from 1989 helpful, you know?

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#18 of 77 Old 06-19-2011, 07:27 PM
 
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I agree with the above.  However, what feels new to me is the social media piece.  I didn't grow up with it, and we're just dipping our toes into the water, so to speak.  I do find it interesting to hear how other folks have handled phones, texting, facebook, and the issues that come up around them. 

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#19 of 77 Old 06-20-2011, 11:01 AM
 
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Karne, good point.  I'm 43 years old and didn't grow-up with constant access to my friends by way of cell phones and Facebook and the like.  It's interesting trying to navigate the effect this tool has on my 16 y.o.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited for clarity.

 


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#20 of 77 Old 06-20-2011, 11:20 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post


I agree, many first round parents don't really want BTDT advice unless it's very, very recent experience. Most of us who have teenagers are looking back and thinking "what the heck were we so worked up about!" Any attempt to calm or put things in long-term perspective is taken with offense.

 

 

i'm mom to a 4-year old and a 1-month old and i must say i love (and value) the sage advice of moms who have btdt (often more so than those new moms who think they have it all figured out, but really don't have a clue).  i've even had women without children give me advice or their two cents during my pregnancies and about child rearing because they read something somewhere (and they usually have a holier-than-thou attitude).  sorry, but until you've been in my shoes, i really don't want to hear it. 

 

hopefully all you moms will stick around.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by karne View Post


That's so true!  There are days when I fondly remember when the biggest issues facing me as a parent was whether my kids had too many toys, or what their baby doll was made out of.  I want to say "Just love your kids, make a community for yourself, and don't sweat the small stuff.  It all goes by so fast."

 

 

i constantly try to keep this (bolded section) in mind and think it's so important for others to hear.  like i said above, please stick around (and keep reminding us of this).

 

thanks mamas! love.gif
 

 



 

 

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#21 of 77 Old 06-20-2011, 04:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samstress View Post

 

 

i'm mom to a 4-year old and a 1-month old and i must say i love (and value) the sage advice of moms who have btdt (often more so than those new moms who think they have it all figured out, but really don't have a clue).  i've even had women without children give me advice or their two cents during my pregnancies and about child rearing because they read something somewhere (and they usually have a holier-than-thou attitude).  sorry, but until you've been in my shoes, i really don't want to hear it. 

 

hopefully all you moms will stick around.

 

 

i constantly try to keep this (bolded section) in mind and think it's so important for others to hear.  like i said above, please stick around (and keep reminding us of this).

 

thanks mamas! love.gif
 

 



 

 


I totally agree :) I'm relatively new here and don't post much, but I tend to read almost all of the parenting forums to help me 'see' where I'm going, if that makes any sense, even though my 2 boys are 2.5 and 10 mos. And, the older my kids get, the more I realize that I don't really know anything, and with parenting there is so much trial and error and what works for YOUR specific kids and your family. I love the advice from moms who have the clarity of time. I think it's when you can look back and see that it was really just a blip that it helps so much.

 

I'm not sure if I'm making any sense. Thanks for the advice and wisdom. Truly love.gif

 

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#22 of 77 Old 06-20-2011, 08:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by journeymom View Post

Karne, good point.  I didn't grow with constant access to my friends by way of cell phones and Facebook and the like.  It's interesting trying to navigate the effect this tool has on my 16 y.o.



I find it fascinating.  We haven't had any difficult issues crop up.  Maybe I would feel differently if we had., but so far it's been ok. But in general, I am amazed at the way kids stay connected, and how they navigate their social world.  Actually, a lot of what happens w/ my dd and her friends amazes me-in a good way.  I really don't remember being as connected, or confident, at this age. 

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#23 of 77 Old 06-20-2011, 08:12 PM
 
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I also feel like the parenting issues don't address where we are at - partly because my 14 year old DS has a serious mental illness and I am on other boards about that. But I like the community here and wish there were more parents on MDC handling these issues because I would like a NFL perspective on it,

 

I also wish there were a place to discuss pre-menopause and menopause issues, I know it isn't really a parenting issue but again I like MDC and would rather have this community to talk about these issues than to have to find another.

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#24 of 77 Old 06-20-2011, 08:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post

Karne, good point.  I didn't grow with constant access to my friends by way of cell phones and Facebook and the like.  It's interesting trying to navigate the effect this tool has on my 16 y.o.



Yes, good points Karne & Journeymom - I didn't grow up with this stuff either (first color screen monitor in grad school!) and have been thinking about these issues. It's helpful to hear other parents of (pre-)teens hash it out.

 

PS Samstress - that was sweet of you to say.


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#25 of 77 Old 06-20-2011, 09:55 PM
 
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I also feel like the parenting issues don't address where we are at - partly because my 14 year old DS has a serious mental illness and I am on other boards about that.


hug2.gif

 

 

 


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#26 of 77 Old 06-22-2011, 09:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karne View Post





I find it fascinating.  We haven't had any difficult issues crop up.  Maybe I would feel differently if we had., but so far it's been ok. But in general, I am amazed at the way kids stay connected, and how they navigate their social world.  Actually, a lot of what happens w/ my dd and her friends amazes me-in a good way.  I really don't remember being as connected, or confident, at this age. 

 

We've had some difficult issues with our 16 y.o. daughter and her constant connection to her friends.  The problem is multi faceted, but ultimately it comes down to us, her parents.  We don't put enough limits on how much time she spends on Facebook, Tumblr and other social sites, and we don't put enough limits on how much time she spends texting.  I have to admit it caught me off guard how intensely she seems to need to be connected to her friends.  It's too easy for me to explain away the issues. For example, she's always been a night owl. I mean, when she was 7 y.o. she would happily stay up till midnight.  When she was in middle school she had a dreadful time getting to sleep before 1am or later. And I've always been the same way, with periodic horrible issues getting to sleep.  So while I'm not thrilled about it, I'm not surprised if we discover she was on the computer into the wee hours of the night, and I'm kind of sympathetic.  Aftetr all, she's trying to cope with sleeplessness. But in the mean time, it gets too easy to blame it all on her sleep issues, when really I need to put the breaks on the screen time.

 

I'm immensely relieved that so far she's not interested in drugs or alcohol, and her friends all seem to be decent people.  She doesn't seem to be a risk-taker, thank goodness.
 

 


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#27 of 77 Old 06-22-2011, 12:11 PM
 
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Quote:
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I'm immensely relieved that so far she's not interested in drugs or alcohol, and her friends all seem to be decent people.  She doesn't seem to be a risk-taker, thank goodness.
 

 


this is my kids, too.

 

We had a lot of emotional craziness her around age 12, worse for my DD on the autism spectrum than for my neural typical DD. Now they are 13 and 14, and they both have hobbies and intersts and nice friends.

 

Mine do waste time with D&D and with Magic, the Gathering. But their friends from those things are NICE kids I like.

 


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#28 of 77 Old 06-22-2011, 12:13 PM
 
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I also wish there were a place to discuss pre-menopause and menopause issues, I know it isn't really a parenting issue but again I like MDC and would rather have this community to talk about these issues than to have to find another.


I have found www.powersurge.com to be helpful for peri/meno stuff. It does not address the parenting thru peri but there is a lot of helpful info.

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#29 of 77 Old 06-22-2011, 02:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post




this is my kids, too.

 

We had a lot of emotional craziness her around age 12, worse for my DD on the autism spectrum than for my neural typical DD. Now they are 13 and 14, and they both have hobbies and intersts and nice friends.

 

Mine do waste time with D&D and with Magic, the Gathering. But their friends from those things are NICE kids I like.

 

 

Yup.  Daughter joined the marching band family at school.  The teacher is very demanding of their energy, skills and time, so they hardly have time to get into trouble.  And I like her friends too.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tigeresse View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by joyluc View Post

 

 

I also wish there were a place to discuss pre-menopause and menopause issues, I know it isn't really a parenting issue but again I like MDC and would rather have this community to talk about these issues than to have to find another.




I have found www.powersurge.com to be helpful for peri/meno stuff. It does not address the parenting thru peri but there is a lot of helpful info.
 


notes2.gif

 

My mom was 38 when I was born, and was going through menopause when I was an angsty teen. It was a hell of a ride, that's for sure.  dizzy.gif


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#30 of 77 Old 06-22-2011, 05:33 PM
 
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Thanks for the info Tigeresse, I will check it out.
 

Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joyluc View Post

 

 

I also wish there were a place to discuss pre-menopause and menopause issues, I know it isn't really a parenting issue but again I like MDC and would rather have this community to talk about these issues than to have to find another.




I have found www.powersurge.com to be helpful for peri/meno stuff. It does not address the parenting thru peri but there is a lot of helpful info.
 


 


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