I have a 15 year old (almost 16) and a toddler. I am curious to see how other moms would characterize their relationship with their teenager...I have lots of moms to talk with who have children my toddler's age, but very few who have teens. Curious to hear how other mamas would describe it all...so unpack up your adjectives (that's a School House Rock reference for you older moms--like me!).
Feel free to add some text about how life as a mom of a teen is treating you or how you feel about your teen in general. And I said "five words," but you know...whatever you like!
I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brother.
We're near the end, as ds1 is 18, and just graduated from high school. Looking back:
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
My "baby" is 13. His older sisters are already out of the house; 2 with children of their own. My youngest dd was 13 when he was born and the 2nd dd was 17. Over all, I have enjoyed all their teen years. The teen years have been inspiring, aggravating, fun, enjoyable, filled with debate and respectful arguments. I love being a witness to their thinking processes as they mature from childhood to adulthood.
Transition should probably be first since it really is the crux of our relationship right now. She was a late bloomer physically but when puberty hit, it hit fast and furious... no slow transition here. Basically, I feel like I went from parenting a little girl to a young woman overnight.DD is 14 now we're just starting to come out of the "dark days" lol. I don't have a ton to complain about. She's still a great kid who makes good choices normally and at least her poor choices are in low risk areas. Still, it's such a different dynamic and we're both trying to adapt.
I have the feeling, 15 on will be great years for us just like 0-13.5 were. There are good things about her growing up. She's always been an interesting child to talk to but we I love how she's really forming her own opinions on the world truely seperate from ours. I love seeing her stretch her wings and she's been so successful in everything she's attempted. This question just comes in a time of mourning really. I DO like who she's becoming but I also really liked who she was. The transition period is rough. It's just change and that's always hard.
I adore my teens and feel very positive about them, so this might seem Pollyanna-ish, but here you go:
My youngest is 13, and my twins turn 17 next week.
My twin boys will be 17 in August. At each stage of their lives, I've liked that stage the best - including now that they're teenagers. It's so much fun to see the world through their eyes; to watch them develop their own moral code (which is very similar to mine, but they've thought about it, and aren't just parroting me); they make me laugh on a daily basis.
My greatest joy is that both my sons trust me enough to talk to me about anything - even when they know it's something I don't want to hear.
If the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
My dd is 13, and is full of the stuff that makes our lives incredibly full! She will lie, and then bat her eyes at me and apologize and ask for permission for the next thing. She is fearless and guileless, vain and beautiful and kind. I love her so much it hurts. We go from best buds to worst enemies, because I refuse to let being her parent stop me from enjoying her, when she isn't needing a parent (at that particular moment). We play together, exercise together, do her homework, clean, cook, we do a LOT together. I am also very much the boss, and she knows it. I listen with as much respect as I can to her problems, and I TRY not to become her problem solver, though I think I fail sometimes, and revert into a know it all w/out meaning to. She will call me back in line, usually. :D
I hope this helps you feel good about your own relationship w/your teen. I believe this is one of the most changeable times of her life - and of course we have seen our teens come through incredible change already!
it's more than 5 words, but....
"it was the best of times, it was the worst of times"
describes life with my 2 teens. They are so amazing, and they also are so ..... (I'm trying to think of a nice word for it). I have great kids and I feel really blessed, but they also drive me bonkers.
but everything has pros and cons
I'm cheating a little bit but I'm using 5 descriptive terms for each of us (dd is 14), which I think speaks volumes!
Go outside? Why would I do that??
Thankfully we share the same sense of humor and we normally getting along very well...but we are very different and I often wonder where in the world she came from! I try to take an interest in the movies/books/music that she likes but it's hard sometimes. Our interests are vastly different... We both need to compromise in order to find some middle ground. I sometimes wonder if we would get along any better if we were alike --probably not LOL...
For my 15 yr old:
My 12 yr old has had a rough year - perhaps I should say we have had a rough year. I think (hope!) my answers will be different in a few years. But for the sake of keeping it real, here goes:
There is no way to keep to five words and get any semblance of it at all! Now she is 15 and things are really great. She is a responsible kid who makes good choices and overall we get along well. She is outgoing/social, funny, and very talented in all performing arts. Sometimes she is tired/hungry/hormonal/sad/mad and lashes out at me or her sisters, but then again don't we all? I find that when I am reasonable then so is she. If I am short-tempered or grumpy, I get less than positive back. I do love her friends and am happy to have them over and drive them places - they are all pretty hilarious when they are together! I trust her to make good choices, but know that she will sometimes make mistakes. I won't make decisions based on what bad thing MIGHT happen; I had friends who rebelled terribly just because they weren't trusted. She is allowed to have friends (even male friends) in her room with the door shut and to go to their houses if I know them. I believe restricting privacy does nothing for our relationship or for promoting her to make good choices. If/when she makes a mistake, consequences will follow accordingly but not before. She doesn't like to be rushed (who does?). I do make a point to chat about all members of our family doing their part to keep the house running smoothly - she seems to be more amenable to doing chores then. We keep the door to her room closed to avoid issues of whether or not it is clean enough, and to keep her sisters out. I try to be respectful of her feelings and concerns, and to remember what it was like to be a teen - how all-encompassing my feelings were then. I let her have her feelings but insist on a certain level of respect. You can think anything you want but not all of it has to come out of your mouth. I say yes whenever I can. I drive carpool for her activities, and attend 99% of all games/performances/etc. I hug her and tell her I love her often. Things are pretty darn good with us right now. Couple years ago (when hormones were trying to regulate and she was going from a little kid to a teen), things were tougher - she was moody/grumpy/secretive. Glad to be done with that phase.