How much SLEEP is needed and how much TV is OK? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 08-14-2011, 08:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Our girls are 10 and 11.  We're setting the new back to school guidelines.  Any thoughts on the amount of TV that's appropriate per day?  Thoughts on bedtimes for kids of this age?

 

 

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#2 of 18 Old 08-14-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by seacatnp View Post

Our girls are 10 and 11.  We're setting the new back to school guidelines.  Any thoughts on the amount of TV that's appropriate per day?  Thoughts on bedtimes for kids of this age?

 

 



I think a lot depends on the child. My eldest wakes naturally after 10 hours of sleep which she rarely gets not that she's in highschool. My DS after 8. My kids bedtime is 9pm until highschool and then it moves to 10pm. In reguards to TV, it's less about time and more about value. It's OK to have a favorite show that you want to watch every week but to watch an hour a day of random stuff just because you have an hour of time alloted isn't acceptable. So, for our kids, they might watch an hour one night and then nothing the next. They are pretty busy during the school year so watch hardly anything during the week. Maybe 2 or 3 hours on the weekends catching up with what is on the DVR or watching a family show with us (we're big into netflix shows like past season Dr. Who lol.)  

 


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#3 of 18 Old 08-14-2011, 11:35 AM
 
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My dd doesn't have a set bedtime,  mostly because she completely self regulates.  It would be rare to find her not in bed by 8:30 or so on a school night, as she has to get up to catch a very early (6;30) bus.  

 

She doesn't really do TV during the school week, primarily because she has afterschool sports.  Maybe one day a week or so she'll watch something after school.  She hasn't been up late enough to watch night time TV shows.

 

My elem school aged ds will watch PBS-a fav. show for 1/2 hour after school.  

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#4 of 18 Old 08-14-2011, 01:57 PM
 
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I think bedtimes really depend on what time the child needs to get up and how much sleep they need. My kids don't leave the house until 8:20 on school days (the joy of living a 5 minute walk from school) so they have a 10 pm bedtime and it works fine. If they had to be out of the house at 6:45, like some kids their ages, they would have to go to bed earlier.

 

TV varies widely for them, but they do OK with self regulating. They go through periods where they watch quite a bit (school hasn't started here yet but summer activities have ended, so they are currently watching a ton) but then they go through periods where they watch very little.

 

For a while we had a "one hour a day" rule on TV viewing which simplified homework. It turned out that one of my kids had a far easier time doing homework if TV just wasn't an option. We are past that stage now.


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#5 of 18 Old 08-15-2011, 06:11 AM
 
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I am wondering about this, too, and how to handle the age difference between my two kids - it's not huge (8 and 11), but the older one is going to middle school in the fall, so we will have a lot of changes with school start-time, homework, activities, etc. I know that the younger one's teacher does not believe in tons of homework, so older DD might be stuck at a desk much longer in the evening than younger DD. They have "fairness" issues LOL about getting to watch the same amount of TV, etc., although older one does go to bed later than the other now.  I am just wondering how much sleep a preteen actually needs - seems like more than elementary schoolers.


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#6 of 18 Old 08-15-2011, 06:54 AM
 
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I try to follow a schedule.  The 7 year old at 8pm  The 9 yo at 8:30.  My 13 yo is usually up until 10.  Last year, I made her pick two nights as "TV nights" so she could watch her favorite shows Sun-Thurs.  She tends to go to bed earlier on non-TV nights.  

 

I work weekends and so all the kids watch more TV than I like when they are with their dad/grandparents.


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#7 of 18 Old 08-15-2011, 07:22 AM
 
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I think my 13 year old needs more sleep now than she did this time last year. She has slept a TON this summer. I'm not really sure how it will play out when school starts.

 

I think bedtimes and TV watching are moving targets -- the best we can aim for is "what seems to be working for now."


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#8 of 18 Old 08-15-2011, 08:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Ragana View Post

I am just wondering how much sleep a preteen actually needs - seems like more than elementary schoolers.



Kids from 5-12 are reccomended to get 10-11 hours a night. Teens are supposed to get a little over 9 hours. It will depend on the child. My own 14-year-old really needs 10-11 hours a night. My 10-year-old really only needs 8-9.

 

We have found it rare for middle and high schoolers to get enough sleep. Parents used to hound me about how my eldest was such a star in middle school. I swear it was because she actually slept 10 hours a night and I knew some of their children were getting 7 or 8 max... .some as little as 6. When DD moved to highschool, we lifted the 9pm bedtime and she LOST it! I mean, emotional meltdowns, grades dropped, atheletic ability dropped, sick all the time, argumentative, ect. She was trying to function on 5 to 6 hours a night and it was NOT working. She kept insisting it wasn't the sleep. Last few months of school, we took the reigns and instituted the electronics cap of 10pm. She could still control when she went to sleep but she needed to be in her room ready for bed and no computer/phone/ipod/netflix. Without the electronics, going to bed late became 11pm instead of 3am. I tell you, things turned around pretty fast! Now she gets it and ALL our lives have been so much better lol.

 

It is hard for highschoolers. They physically do struggle going to sleep before 10. They are wired to stay up late. Then, highschoolers go to school SOOOOO early! My DD has to get up at 6am to be ready and at her desk at 7:15. That's much differen from elementary where she would wake at 8:30 to get to school by 9am.


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#9 of 18 Old 08-15-2011, 12:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post





Kids from 5-12 are reccomended to get 10-11 hours a night. Teens are supposed to get a little over 9 hours. It will depend on the child. My own 14-year-old really needs 10-11 hours a night. My 10-year-old really only needs 8-9.

 

We have found it rare for middle and high schoolers to get enough sleep. Parents used to hound me about how my eldest was such a star in middle school. I swear it was because she actually slept 10 hours a night and I knew some of their children were getting 7 or 8 max... .some as little as 6. When DD moved to highschool, we lifted the 9pm bedtime and she LOST it! I mean, emotional meltdowns, grades dropped, atheletic ability dropped, sick all the time, argumentative, ect. She was trying to function on 5 to 6 hours a night and it was NOT working. She kept insisting it wasn't the sleep. Last few months of school, we took the reigns and instituted the electronics cap of 10pm. She could still control when she went to sleep but she needed to be in her room ready for bed and no computer/phone/ipod/netflix. Without the electronics, going to bed late became 11pm instead of 3am. I tell you, things turned around pretty fast! Now she gets it and ALL our lives have been so much better lol.

 

It is hard for highschoolers. They physically do struggle going to sleep before 10. They are wired to stay up late. Then, highschoolers go to school SOOOOO early! My DD has to get up at 6am to be ready and at her desk at 7:15. That's much differen from elementary where she would wake at 8:30 to get to school by 9am.


I agree that the proper amount of sleep is key for optimum functioning.  My dd seems to need more sleep than some others, although that comes and goes.  However, sleeping in later never works because she's wired to wake up on the early side.  It's rare for her to sleep later than 8AM on a weekend.  It's the before midnight sleep that seems key, but a bedtime before 8pm is pretty impossible-she's not tired enough.  I feel like we periodically run into minor sleep deprivation.

 

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#10 of 18 Old 08-15-2011, 07:40 PM
 
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I think you have to go by whether your child seems rested because it's so individual.  DS(11) will sleep about 10 hours in the summer, but he just can't fall asleep early enough to pull it off in the school year as the school bus is at the driveway 7:45am.  But, OTOH, he isn't sleepy or grumpy with the less sleep, so I'm not going to worry.  We have a no TV on school nights unless you've: 1)Done your chores 2)Gone outside for at least a half hour (doing chores accomplishes this, anyway) and 3)Gotten your homework done.  Stuff doesn't seem to get done if we allow TV before.  We're OK with the kids deciding how much after it's done (and we do the Netflix thing, so there's no "missing a show").


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#11 of 18 Old 08-15-2011, 07:59 PM
 
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My kids are 12 and 16 y.o.  I'll just echo what some others here have said,  my tween needs less sleep than my teen.   At age 12 both were/are fine with 8 hours, better with 9 hours, tolerable with 7 hours occasionally.   My 16 y.o. needs probably 10 hours, but rarely gets it. 

 

Because my kids cannot self-regulate with TV,  we have a 'no TV on school nights' rule. It really helps.  Sunday through Thursday, no TV.  

 

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post


We have found it rare for middle and high schoolers to get enough sleep. Parents used to hound me about how my eldest was such a star in middle school. I swear it was because she actually slept 10 hours a night and I knew some of their children were getting 7 or 8 max... .some as little as 6. When DD moved to highschool, we lifted the 9pm bedtime and she LOST it! I mean, emotional meltdowns, grades dropped, atheletic ability dropped, sick all the time, argumentative, ect. She was trying to function on 5 to 6 hours a night and it was NOT working. She kept insisting it wasn't the sleep. Last few months of school, we took the reigns and instituted the electronics cap of 10pm. She could still control when she went to sleep but she needed to be in her room ready for bed and no computer/phone/ipod/netflix. Without the electronics, going to bed late became 11pm instead of 3am. I tell you, things turned around pretty fast! Now she gets it and ALL our lives have been so much better lol.



Yes yes yes!  That really sounds like my daughter, with the meldowns and dropped grades, etc.  

 

Without going off on too much of a tangent,  Seacatnp, I really urge you to keep an eye on the other electronic devices in your child's life.  TV is far from the only distraction for my kids, anyway.  Don't forget that hand-held game consoles like DSi have internet components, too. 

 

 

 

 


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#12 of 18 Old 08-16-2011, 08:10 AM
 
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Without going off on too much of a tangent,  Seacatnp, I really urge you to keep an eye on the other electronic devices in your child's life.  TV is far from the only distraction for my kids, anyway.  Don't forget that hand-held game consoles like DSi have internet components, too. 

 

 

 

 


Good point.

 


Mom "D" to DD1 "Z" (15) and DD2 "I" (11) DH "M"

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#13 of 18 Old 08-17-2011, 07:49 AM
 
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During the school my son (13) has to turn the light off at 9. His bus comes at 7:45.  He is slow in the morning and needs at least an hour to get ready. On school nights no TV or video games until he's done his homework and as he has soccer several nights a week, he often does not get any screentime at all on those nights.

Summer time is is way more relaxed with the exception of the weeks he has camp and has to get up early. When there is no camp he might go to bed at around 11 or later and sleep in. he also does way more video in the summer than I personally would like, but I have come to accept it.

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#14 of 18 Old 08-17-2011, 09:00 AM
 
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No set bedtime here anymore. In MS, it was pretty much around 9pm, but a lot depended on what else was going on. Now, in HS, she  (!7) may go to bed as early as 9, or as late as after midnight, depending on practices/games, schoolwork, other activities. And she's up at 5:15 for a 5:45 bus. Most days, she's not home until ~7pm. She catches up on sleep on the bus or on the weekend. TV is mostly on weekends.

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#15 of 18 Old 08-18-2011, 10:20 AM
 
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My kids used to grouse about bedtime ("But Joey gets to stay up later!") I explained that their bodies determined their bed time. If they could consistently get up in the morning without an alarm, they obviously were getting enough sleep, and could stay up later. Until that happened, they needed at least as much sleep as they were getting, so bedtime had to stay where it was.

 

We have always maintained the same bedtime on weeknights and weekends - otherwise Monday morning was a nightmare. Our kids decided on their own that was a good idea, and do it on their own, even as Juniors in high school. Obviously there are some exceptions, but a consistent bedtime is the rule.

 

One of my 17-yr-old sons naps regularly; the other never takes a nap.


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#16 of 18 Old 08-19-2011, 07:56 AM
 
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Dylan (13; 8th grade) is in bed by 10 pm; gets up between 6:30-7 am.  He needs about 30 minutes before eating breakfast to wake up.  We home school and I need him to start his school work by 8:30 am.  I also work at home so the early school start means that we both get what we need done.  I do math and LA with him first thing and he does history and science on his own while I'm working.  I can be interrupted for discussions and questions.  He can get on the computer/TV when his school work and chores are done.  He is off the computer at 9 pm and the TV is off at 10 pm. 

 

I found this web page useful as a starting place in determining the amount of sleep needed at the various ages.  http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children


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#17 of 18 Old 08-19-2011, 10:50 PM
 
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My kiddo is going to be 11 next month.  Since we are still homeschooling I don't control the amount of TV or sleep.  He typically goes to bed between 930-1030 pm and gets up around 730-8am.  The TV seems to be on constantly, but more of a background noise at times.  DS does spend a great deal of time on the internet,some as goof of time, some for school.  He also spends about an hr a day at the pool, either for swim club practice or just at our pool here.  DS also spends at least an hr a day reading- probably closer to 2 hrs.(this is books/nook not online reading)

 

He is also home on days when I work so the ability to take a nap is always there.  I don't see him going to a traditional school anytime soon so this set up is working well for both of us.


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#18 of 18 Old 08-21-2011, 05:48 PM
 
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My son is 11, and he needs about 9-10 hours of sleep per night (9pm is the bedtime on school nights, 9:30pm on weekends and in the summer).  He is NOT good at self-regulating TV or video game time, so we have to set limits (I think he would play his DS all day long if we let him!).  He is allowed one hour of "screen time" per day on school days (not counting computer time for a school project or homework), and two hours on the weekend or days when there's no school.

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