Daughter's First Period - Strange Things - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 42 Old 12-28-2011, 09:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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kpax-

I need to ask to edit your post to Linda on the Move.  Please avoid personal attacks.  Feel free to debate the post, not the poster. 

 

 



Ok, edited.

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#32 of 42 Old 12-28-2011, 10:12 PM
 
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I was horrified when I started my period and I remember several talks about puberty and sex education.  My mother took me out for ice cream and made it feel like a wonderful thing, but it wasn't something I cared to share with her because it was something I felt secretive of.  My desire for privacy in many areas of my life didn't hurt our relationship, in fact I think it helped that my mother gave me the room I needed to grow and make decisions about what to share and what not to share even if it was hard for us to grow apart in some ways.  I don't remember ever asking her for any products and I don't see any reason to track your period, as a child or adult, unless you start having problems that you think might be related.  I certainly don't track mine and I won't be asking my child to.  As someone else pointed out, it is very clear just from the trash can that a period is occurring. 

 

Since she is so resistant right now I think you should let go of the calendar idea go all together, make sure you have plenty of products on hand, and track it as best you can from what is in the garbage can if you really feel that it is something you have to do.  If in a year from now her period has not regulated or you feel the time is right to suggest it then I think you should have a discussion again with her, and the doctor if it is a medical concern, but for now the unpredictability is normal and expected so I suggest making sure she feels that her privacy is respected by letting the issue go for a while. 

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#33 of 42 Old 12-28-2011, 10:47 PM
 
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The charting piece, in our family, is something that is important to my dd.  She likes to be prepared, and she is very active, with many afterschool and weekend commitments.  She likes to plan, have supplies to take with her, and not be caught unprepared.  I think it's great because it's giving her a sense of control, and making that piece of her life feel more manageable.  I have been completely surprised by the autonomy in this regard, but I think it's healthy, and I do whatever I can to support it.  I don't see the fun in guessing for girls this age...they have to be prepared at school, etc.  In my dd's group, they often bring an extra set of pants or sweats to school, and generally help each other out as needed.

 

 

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#34 of 42 Old 12-28-2011, 10:48 PM
 
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Just so I'm clear, though---- completely "random" periods for even a couple years after starting is normal, right?  Like, isn't it common for girls to skip months until they are older?  I don't think I would have been able to accurately predict my periods for years after originally starting.

 


YES!  It's completely normal, and I think moms telling their DDs anything else could cause needless panic.

 

I found such an interesting graph in a book on menopause that showed regularity of periods with age and it totally fascinated me. Most women are regular by age 20. The younger the menstruating woman, the less likely she is to be regular.

 

The graph showed how women are then regular for most of their reproductive years, and our bodies go haywire again during peri-menopause.

 

But teen girls can have their periods just as all over the place as peri-menapausal women. Of course, anything really out there should be mentioned to a health care provider. But irregular periods in an of themselves in a teen girl don't mean that anything is wrong.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#35 of 42 Old 12-29-2011, 11:06 AM
 
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Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post



Just so I'm clear, though---- completely "random" periods for even a couple years after starting is normal, right?  Like, isn't it common for girls to skip months until they are older?  I don't think I would have been able to accurately predict my periods for years after originally starting.

 



Yes, my eldest got her first period at 12 3/4, and didn't get the next one until she was almost 15 when they became quite regular.


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#36 of 42 Old 12-29-2011, 11:47 AM
 
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Yes, my eldest got her first period at 12 3/4, and didn't get the next one until she was almost 15 when they became quite regular.



It's possible that first one wasn't a real period. I had the same thing happen but in hindsight, I think I actually just broke my hymen while playing slip and slide with my cousins that afternoon. This is actually not uncommon with athletic girls and can explain having one period and then not another for a full year. It can also be a body weight thing. My DD didn't start until about a month before her 14th birthday but she also didn't hit 100 pounds until then either. Once she started, she was pretty regular right of the bat... just like me... pretty clockwork from day one.


Married mom of two, DD 17 and DS 13.
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#37 of 42 Old 08-01-2012, 07:16 AM
 
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Please do not listen to other's that berate you or belittle you. Being a mom is hard work and it is different for all of us. My daughter just started her first period last month. She was prepared with many talks. Just be there for her and make sure she knows she can come to you for anything. You are a good mom and she is lucky to have you there for her. Every girls' period is different and having her chart them is smart. Chart your own so she can feel normal during this process of her period becoming regular. It will be irregular for a few months but will settle into a pattern. take her to lunch and talk about it. In plain simple language. The more she knows the better. Just hang in there. We moms have to help each other through the tough times and believe me....there are tough times for ALL of us!

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#38 of 42 Old 08-01-2012, 06:04 PM
 
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If she has an ipod/iphone I use P Tracker lite(there is a paid version too).  I can track when it starts/ends, symptoms(though I don't do that), how long my cycles are, when i should be expecting it, etc.  

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#39 of 42 Old 08-02-2012, 08:25 PM
 
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cyclespage.com is a good site! i used it for years and years. after a few cycles, it estimates when your next period will start and when you ovulate. it's been a while since i've used it so it may be even better now.


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#40 of 42 Old 08-04-2012, 11:23 AM
 
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You might want to by her the book Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body by Toni Weschler. She's the same author as Taking Charge of Your Fertility.


~Patti~ rainbow1284.gifMomma to three girls and three boys chicken3.gif, First mother to one girl triadadopt.jpg

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#41 of 42 Old 11-16-2013, 11:38 PM
 
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Well...I was so scared to tell my mom what was happening with me. Like pubic hair and when I wanted to start shaving and wear padded bras. I didn't tell her and tried to trick her I to asking me if i wanted them. I would always panick though. When I got my period I didn't tell her the first day. I waited and used pads she had got me just in case. Maybe you solid get her some pads and tell her these are for just in case. Then atleast she will have sow thing to use and so she doesn't embarrass herself. Make sure to open the pack of pads so she isn't worried about to noticing
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#42 of 42 Old 11-16-2013, 11:40 PM
 
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And make sure not tomarow a big deal about it when she brings something like that up. That makes her embartessed. It did with me
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