Things have been a little less hectic around here, as my daughter has gotten herself a job. Of course like everything else she does, this job has its purpose. She wants to go to Japan this summer. She has done the math and estimated that if she doesnt spend any money from now until then, and keeps up her current routine (sacrificing workouts, martial arts, and sleep to make having a job and getting school stuff done work) she will be able to afford the trip. Her close friend would be with her, and I know that those two will take good care of eachother. Problem is I think they are both a little young for this, and I know the trouble they can get into here, I cant imagine what they could do in Japan. My daughter wants to visit the family of her former boyfriend, she feels like she must apologize and make amends to them for not being able to save their son. She also wants a tattoo done in the traditional Japanese style, kanji on her hip that reads "fall into ruin", to match the brand of "the villain" I guess.
I was allowed to travel to Germany, alone, when I was 15. Granted I didnt have my daughter's personality and I was there to visit family. I'm really torn on what to do. I asked my mother, and she said to let her go, while my father thinks its a bad idea to let just her and her friend go and has therefore offered to go with them. I appreciate her asking for my permission, rather than going about this her normal way and just doing what ever it is she wants. Let her go? No? Send my father along for the ride? Any opinions are appreciated.
It's a long time between now and this summer, so I wouldn't worry about anything right now. If, in a couple of months, she has followed through with her plan to save the money for this proposed trip, then start considering the options. A LOT can happen between now and then, or even just tomorrow.
Maybe help her look into programs that would offer a little structure and supervision. I was thinking of an intensive language course for a week that would include a homestay with a family in the same town as the boyfriend's family. In my experience (I've done it in France and Mexico, not Japan), that can cost less than a hotel and meals alone.
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I keep thinking 'no'. So much can happen to 15-16 yr olds traveling ALONE abroad (and domestic) alone. How will they get from the airport to the hotel/youth hostel? What are the plans, what about food, cash or bank card? ID? Will a hotel even let minors check in?
What if someone gets sick? How is she going to communicate with the locals? Can she speak/read the language?
I would look for a 'study abroad' program as well and take it from there.
Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed
Seeking zen in 2014. Working on journaling and finding peace this year. Spending my free time taking J to swimteam
How is your dd doing overall? I remember your earlier post about what a difficult time she was going through. Is she in contact with her deceased boyfriend's parents? I can see how writing them a letter could be helpful to her.
but everything has pros and cons
I'd send your dad if he has offered to go. Travel is fantastic and if she saved enough, that's wonderful. If she were visiting family (and staying with them) like you did, I'd no problem. However, just going with a friend with her only connection a family of an EX boyfriend... not a great idea.
Traveling under age can have it's problems. I don't know how things are in Japan but for example, here... you can't even get a hotel room in your name until 18... sometimes 21. You can't rent a car (and she's not driving age.) If one single thing goes wrong she could be in the position of not having the legal power to fix it.
Well she's been determined on getting to Japan for the past year or so, I dont think that's likely to change in a few months. DD is proficient in the Japanese language, so communication with the locals shouldnt be a huge problem. Her friend will be 19 sometime either next month or in march, he's not a minor. A study abroad program is of no interest, she doesnt care for anything that structured, she would want to freely explore the country. Sending my dad might not be the best idea, he knows nothing of the Japanese language or culture, if he was left alone he'd be so clueless and lost, plus he's nearly 70 I dont think he would be able to keep up with 2 teens.
She's doing as well as she ever has, quieter these days though, hardly talks unless its to say hello, goodbye, or I'll be home later. Dropped her last boyfriend in favor of a guy whos giving her fencing lessons and instruction in a new type of martial art. She got a part time job so she can save for Japan, and is still managing to stay afloat in school in spite of being more busy than I am. At the very least I can be happy that she's not been in the hospital again.