great kid smoking pot - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-06-2012, 03:29 PM
 
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oh i see i read it wrong

 


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Old 02-06-2012, 04:15 PM
 
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And that admission makes you rock!
 

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Yes.  I let her know my preference, but I'm not living under a rock.  So, I always assumed that she'd try it.  (I tried it in high school) and she's never had any interest in it, or in the people who do.  She's got her own group of friends and interests.  I can't complain.  I'm just saying she didn't make the choice because of my awesome parenting... it was a choice she made on her own.

 



 

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Old 02-06-2012, 04:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

I Wait... herb is from the ERF!  God put it here for you and me...

Uh, no. It doesn't grow all by itself.. it's cultivated with a lot of water, fertilizer and sunny days. It's not like a dandelion or plantain that you can just pick out of anyone's yard.


Also, a lot of harmful things are grown... foxglove, castor beans, datura, yellow Jessamine, dumb cane, hemlock , mountain laurel, yew and false hellebore....... you don't eat those unless you risk dangerous and perhaps fatal consequences.


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Old 02-06-2012, 04:50 PM
 
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Maybe you should go around and get rid of all the evil stuff.  And um... yeah... it was wild before it was planted on purpose...  Seriously?  I could do this all day. 
 

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Uh, no. It doesn't grow all by itself.. it's cultivated with a lot of water, fertilizer and sunny days. It's not like a dandelion or plantain that you can just pick out of anyone's yard.
Also, a lot of harmful things are grown... foxglove, castor beans, datura, yellow Jessamine, dumb cane, hemlock , mountain laurel, yew and false hellebore....... you don't eat those unless you risk dangerous and perhaps fatal consequences.


 

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Old 02-06-2012, 05:01 PM
 
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Mom31, I missed thanking you for your sympathy about my son's case.  It was a shock to us all, but he took the consequences like a grown-up, paid his own fines, and dealt with all of it himself.  If I had believed that he was high behind the wheel, I probably would have sold his car.  He wasn't, so I consider this a mistake and a learning experience.

 

I think nextcommercial hits it on the head for me.  We do what we can, but ultimately our kids make their own choices.  I don't consider myself to be a bad parent, and while I think it's great that some kids don't experiment, I don't consider my children to be lesser beings because they did.

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Old 02-07-2012, 06:28 AM
 
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Learning from mistakes is what makes us human.  Those who never make mistakes are the ones I would worry about.

 

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Mom31, I missed thanking you for your sympathy about my son's case.  It was a shock to us all, but he took the consequences like a grown-up, paid his own fines, and dealt with all of it himself.  If I had believed that he was high behind the wheel, I probably would have sold his car.  He wasn't, so I consider this a mistake and a learning experience.

 

I think nextcommercial hits it on the head for me.  We do what we can, but ultimately our kids make their own choices.  I don't consider myself to be a bad parent, and while I think it's great that some kids don't experiment, I don't consider my children to be lesser beings because they did.



 

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Old 02-08-2012, 07:59 AM
 
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I think it's great they're coming to you and that you respect them enough to have this discussion.  I'm sure they will make the right decisions in the end.  I would stress the legal aspects and the job drug testing.  Do their sports drug test as well?  You mentioned they were athletic.

 

re: driving -  I need everyone to be sober while driving.  I don't care if they're high off alcohol, weed, coke, too much Starbucks, lack of sleep, or cough medicine... it's not safe.  It just isn't.  I know everyone has been in a situation where they had to drive in less than perfect conditions, but when it's avoidable, just don't do it.  Having smoked weed is not an unavoidable emergency.  I agree with those people saying that you should tell your kids that if they need to be picked up by you, they won't have consequences.

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Old 02-11-2012, 10:16 AM
 
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Another thread where Im thankful to be Canadian!

 

Drug testing for jobs? Jail time for trace amounts? its weed! craziness

 

I think being completely aware of the laws in your state is essential to educating your daughter about pot. No matter how much some people disagree with the laws, you can't avoid it.

 

She needs to be smart about smoking, and you as well about allowing it. It needs to be kept private and in the opposite direction of the wind lol

 

Allowing something like smoking pot to come in between your relationship is foolish, I think the OP has a sensible, realistic view. Do not alienate your child for something so silly, they are young and looking to experiment and find their piece of mind.

 

Condemning and penalizing this behaviour will interrupt their development into a well-adjusted and confident adult, and put them at a greater loss, since their foundation (the home and the parents) is saying their decision making is wrong, and the way they live their life is terrible and not welcome. Great advice from a loved one! nut.gif

 

Just be smart...teach her to be too. If she becomes dependant on smoking, SHE needs to take a step back and reevaluate if this is for her. 

 

My biggest advice, although "out there", is be the home where she and her friends come to smoke. You know where she is, what the effect will be and that she's not walking around risking getting caught by the cops.

 

It will built the relationship to be trustworthy and accepting, which is what every adolescent growing up needs. Not harsh punishment, it will have the opposite effect. And you'll be the coooool mom!!


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Old 04-20-2012, 10:07 AM
 
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I've heard that smoking can have an adverse effect on brain development if the brain isn't finished growing into it's adult size yet (like maybe age 20-22?). I'm sorry I don't remember where I originally heard that, I think it was from some therapist or doctor--might be worth researching? We hear lots of talk on this topic here in Humboldt County.

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Old 04-23-2012, 02:16 PM
 
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I'm sure my kids will never smoke pot because all they have to do is look at their father and say "Do I want to end up like that when I'm 40?" He started smoking pot at 11. He has lost probably 20 cell phones in the last 10 years among other things. He is the epitome of not having it together and still gets nagged by his parents constantly to do what any adult should be doing. Please befriend both a burnout and an alcoholic, introduce them to your kids, and then you can sleep safe and sound at night.

 

On the flip side of that coin, I live in a city where probably a good 30% of residents enjoy some occasional marijuana here and there if not more often. I myself have burned through a few ounces in my day, I have a handful of friends who are parents who smoke pot on the regular, and I can't say "it's a bad thing" at the end of the day. I have always educated my children to understand that alcohol is way more dangerous than pot, that it will cause you to make terrible decisions, and it can ruin your life. Smoking weed at a party is not going to ruin your life 99% of the time. Alcohol has a way better chance of ruining your life. No one ever overdosed on pot or got high and thought it would be a good idea to drive 90 miles an hour down a residential street. I have raised my kids knowing that the government in this country is corrupt, the people who make rules are just getting handouts from whoever has the highest bid, and pot should be legal as long as alcohol is. My ex-boss' husband is dying of cancer. He smokes pot to help with the pain and get him to eat. Drinking booze isn't going to help anyone with a medical condition, but marijuana can. Smoking anything is not good for you, but a little pot brownie never hurt anyone. The chemical composition of THC is not detrimental, but if you put anything in a piece of paper and smoke it, obviously, your lungs aren't going to like it.

 

Do I want my kids to smoke pot as a teenager? No. But I think it would be good for them to try it in college or when they get older. I think people should try as many things as possible so they have a better understanding of life and how other people live. Of course I don't think they should go jump off a building, but recreational drug use within reason isn't going to hurt anyone and it will definitely expand their consciousness. In this situation, I would let them know that smoking pot at such a young age can harm the development of your brain, but I wouldn't go so far as to search their things or make them feel like they're doing something terrible. In my book, I would be more upset over making a C on a report card than taking a couple of hits off a joint at a party at 15. You gotta pick your battles.

 

Recently, my older DD (14) was going to a party where she knew a handful of her friends would probably be smoking pot. She was a little nervous because she didn't want to look "uncool" for not doing it. I told her that honestly, it might even make her look cooler to just act casual about it and be like, "No, I'm not into that". If I had friends who could be around pot smokers as a teenager without smoking, I would have thought they were really cool for not doing something just because everyone else is doing it. And I probably would have chosen to hang out with that kid instead of everyone else who was doing it. She's her class president and has more Facebook friends than I do, so I think her technique is working ;)
 


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Old 04-23-2012, 02:29 PM
 
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My daughter is 19, and has never been drunk or high.   I didn't even raise her to be like that.. I hoped it's the choice she would make, but I didn't really expect it.  She made the choice herself.  She has no interest in drugs or alcohol, and I don't think she ever will.  She has only two friends who party, and all the rest made the same choice she has made.  

 

This is ds1, as well. He was in a play festival at college this past week, and in one of the plays (these were one act plays written by the writing students, and performed by the students in my son's acting program), he stood at the front of the stage and said, "you know what's awesome? Marijuana". I'm not sure if his friends, girlfriend and I had the harder time not cracking up. He's like the last person who would ever say that in real life, because he just has no interest in drinking, drugs, etc. While I'm glad he's going this route (he has three addict/alcoholic grandparents, and his dad is also an addict), I have no idea how it happened. I was raised in a much more clearcut "don't drink or do drugs" environment than he was - although not the really hardcore view that I've come across elsewhere - and my sister and I both smoked it regularly, my brother tried it, and we all swilled booze like sodapop.

 

And, yeah - ds1's friends are mostly the same. He has a couple who drink too much, and smoke some pot, but most of them are drug free and mostly alcohol free. (They're legal drinking age here, so there are some occasional "go to the pub and have a couple of beer" type nights. It's just not a focus for this group.)


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