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11 year old addicted to Minecraft

119K views 177 replies 107 participants last post by  maxeshton23 
#1 ·
We enrolled our 11 year old in K12 this year, and they sent us a personal computer( we already had a laptop, but it was not for game playing). Anyway, my 11 and 8 year old sons asked for Minecraft for Christmas. We thought it looked like a cool game and got it for them, with the stipulation that the 8 yo not use the multi-player function and that the 11 yo only chat with neighborhood friends.

I do see the attraction of the game, and I see the potential for lots of fun and creativity. My concern is that it is becoming addicting. The 11 yo is agreeable enough that if I ask him respectfully to come do such-and-such, he will turn off Minecraft and do it, but he rarely does anything else on his own initiative. He doesn't even go to his neighborhood friends' houses anymore to play. I'll suggest that he go invite so-and-so over, and he replies that he's already playing with so-and-so on Minecraft. He hurries through his schoolwork and instrument practice so he can get to playing on the computer. Now, it is cold outside, and I'm not one of those "Out in any weather" type people. I was born in the South and live in the Midwest now, so to me, winter is indoor season. The computer goes back in June, at the end of the school year, but I am just not sure how to approach things until then. My husband thinks I should just let him play as long as he is keeping up with school, his music, and his sport. I feel that there is something wrong with being on the computer every time you have a second of free time.

Does anyone else have this problem? How have you handled it?
 
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#28 ·
I am starting to feel the same way about my 11 yr old son with Aspergers who is obsessed with Minecraft. He has literally sat in front of the computer for 15 hours in one day when I was down with a migraine. He'd just get up to eat and go to the bathroom. Now with summer coming, living in Orlando, with the horrible heat and expensive attractions, I'm hoping I can keep him occupied enough that he won't be glued to the computer all summer or throwing a fit! It's NOT a bad game, it's just too much of anything is too much...
 
#29 ·
Wow! I am so glad to read this! My 11 year old plays Minecraft every second of the day that he can! I was getting worried...we have had both the Wii and the xbox for a few years and the kids hardly ever touched it.....Now, he discovered this Minecraft and he cannot stop! I had to finally slow it down...it is easier to say he cannot play for the whole day than to let him play for 1 hour! He gets so frustrated and keeps saying, 1 more minute.....1 more minute! Now, he has his sister and all his friends playing it at our house. We had 6 kids over one day and they were all in the basement taking turns playing Minecraft...(2 people at a time on the split screen) It is addicting to them!!

The funny thing is, there is not really any violence at all...they build things and collect things and whatever else. I cannot figure out if it is a learning experience or a bad for them!

anyway, I guess once in a while is not bad, but, this game is definately addicting!!!
 
#30 ·
OMG I am so glad I am not the only one! My almost 8 year old is sooo addicted to Minecraft! I told him I don't understand the addiction and he says he loves to build things. I have limited him - he gets 1 hour in the am and 1 hour in the pm to play. However, when I ask him to get off, he is always saying ok hold on, 1 more minute cuz he has to finish what he is building. Last week his cousin slept over and they were on there for 5 hours straight! I was ok with that because it was a sleepover. I am thinking he is going to need glasses soon from staring at the screen!!
 
#31 ·
Glad I stumbled across this thread. My 9.5 year old is becoming addicted. We've never really needed to impose screen time limits because he more or less self-regulated. However, even he admits that he needs us to impose some limits for him, otherwise he's lost in MineCraft for days . . . .
 
#32 ·
LOL! I saw the thread title and thought "I don't remember posting about this!" My 11 year old wasn't allowed to play at night, only in the morning once he e was ready for school. But then we discovered him waking at 4am to get more screen time. Then we imposed a "no playing before 6am rule" and he would wake at 5:45 get fully ready for school and be sitting in front of the screen at 5:59 ready to play. I figured if he was willing to do that then it did matter to him. It is quite social for him. He will be on a conference call with friends across the country and across the street and they are all playing together.

It does seem like a fine game but I worry about the time it takes away from his physical activity. I really think kids (and adults!) should be active (sweaty, puffing, red-faced) for several hours a day and that doesn't happen for him anymore. I'm making him run 1.4 miles every night (around the block) but that takes 13 minutes and isn't really a substitute.

Does anyone know of minecraft camps, classes, clinics, conferences, etc in New England? I know there is a minecraft version for schools but I haven't even found any local private schools using it. I'd love to find him a community where he can have face to face contact with other addicts. Plus I haven't spent time figuring out how to do mods and he needs help!
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#33 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by mumm View Post

LOL! I saw the thread title and thought "I don't remember posting about this!" My 11 year old wasn't allowed to play at night, only in the morning once he e was ready for school. But then we discovered him waking at 4am to get more screen time. Then we imposed a "no playing before 6am rule" and he would wake at 5:45 get fully ready for school and be sitting in front of the screen at 5:59 ready to play. I figured if he was willing to do that then it did matter to him. It is quite social for him. He will be on a conference call with friends across the country and across the street and they are all playing together.

It does seem like a fine game but I worry about the time it takes away from his physical activity. I really think kids (and adults!) should be active (sweaty, puffing, red-faced) for several hours a day and that doesn't happen for him anymore. I'm making him run 1.4 miles every night (around the block) but that takes 13 minutes and isn't really a substitute.

Does anyone know of minecraft camps, classes, clinics, conferences, etc in New England? I know there is a minecraft version for schools but I haven't even found any local private schools using it. I'd love to find him a community where he can have face to face contact with other addicts. Plus I haven't spent time figuring out how to do mods and he needs help!
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I'd be interested to know if there is a real life community aspect to MC. My kids love it, as do many of their friends. It's really huge in terms of the amount of time you can spend researching, watching youtube videos, creating, etc. I like it a lot, esp. for one of my kids who loves to build, but the time suck is starting to be an issue. I am not one to impose limits, usually, esp. at this age, but honestly, we're getting close.
 
#34 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by karne View Post

I'd be interested to know if there is a real life community aspect to MC. My kids love it, as do many of their friends. It's really huge in terms of the amount of time you can spend researching, watching youtube videos, creating, etc. I like it a lot, esp. for one of my kids who loves to build, but the time suck is starting to be an issue. I am not one to impose limits, usually, esp. at this age, but honestly, we're getting close.
My DS 11 and his buddies all play. They were friends before the minecraft discovery and so it's something they added to their friendship. This summer, they are spending hours on it daily but typically, they have no time to (all are in theatre, play sports, have active families, ect.) I'm dropping DS off today at one of their homes and they are all playing together in the same room lol. Next week, I'm taking them all to the beach sans computers and they are just as excited.

During the summer, I really don't care. I mean, school has him sitting for 5 hours a day... so what if he sits for 5 hours on the computer in the summer. He's still playing his instruments, going to basketball practices and games, going to tae kwon do, taking part in family activities, being with friends, ect. Minecraft really helped him make friends at middle school last year. During the school year, he's really too busy to play more than a couple hours on the weekend... plus... things wear off. I know that allowing him to indulge in minecraft this summer means he'll barely touch it during the school year just like when we first got the Wii. He lived on it for 2 months and not it can go 3 months without even being turned on!
 
#35 ·
My 8 year old is addicted to Minecraft .... he watches youtube videos on minecraft talks about some evil guy named harry bryant or something like that ..... wants mods but everytime i try and install a mod on the mac, I screw up the minecraft game. He eats by the computer so he doesn't miss anything. We have to throw him outside because he doesn't want to play with any kids when they come calling on him. Minecraft, Minecraft, Minecraft .... since we found it, that's become his life.
 
#36 ·
I'm with Satori. I feel like we need to pull the plug on the game. When our 12 yo son cannot stop playing without a huge meltdown. I think some people (especially those with ADHD, Asperger's, etc. like my son) have a marked tendency for addiction to the game. Playing in "moderation" does not appear to be an alternative. The way it was explained to us by our son's counselor and psychiatrist is that the game provides continuous stimulation for the brain (like a drug) and when it is shut off it causes a withdrawal. Like the brain can't deal without the artificial stimulation.

When I used to read that studies said playing computer games can make people aggressive, I thought that was silly because my kids weren't "hitting" or hurting anyone. However, with our 12 yo I see that the "aggression" is a surly and disrespectful attitude. It's making verbal threats like "You better not turn that off or I'll _______."

All I can say is, if I could go back and start my parenting from the beginning again, I would NOT allow any video games in our house. I know they would get to play them at other kids' houses; however, it would be very limited in duration. It would be something they looked forward to rather than feel as though it were an entitlement. It's the same feeling I have when I am around brownies and chocolate chip cookies. I just can't allow them in the house. I can only have them when we go out or visit someone.

Meanwhile, I have to figure out how to deal with this now living in a very technological society. Hmmm... It has helped reading everyone's experiences. My son was laughing when I read some of the responses on this board because he realized it was all true. I think it helped him to hear that he was not the only one going through this as well.
 
#37 ·
My 11 and 5 yo sons are totally addicted. My 11 yo got all of his friends addicted, and now that is all that they do! It's driving me crazy! I'm glad school starts next week because it will get them away from it, but I know as soon as they walk through the door they are going to want to play it. My boys get really irritable when I ask them to turn it off. My 11 yo old definitely has an obsessive personality, and when he likes something it is all he talks about. I didn't mind as much when it was dinosaurs, or the universe, but the video game talk drives me crazy. I have considered taking away video games because that seems to be his only interest. He is not athletic at all, so is not involved in sports. My problem is if I take away video games, I feel like I will be taking away his link to his friends. He is kind of a different kid, gifted and has language and depth of understanding greater than most of his friends. He loves discussions with adults on science, politics, religion etc. Kids his age seem to like discussions on video games and sports. Any advice?
 
#38 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by venturamama View Post

My 11 and 5 yo sons are totally addicted. My 11 yo got all of his friends addicted, and now that is all that they do! It's driving me crazy! I'm glad school starts next week because it will get them away from it, but I know as soon as they walk through the door they are going to want to play it. My boys get really irritable when I ask them to turn it off. My 11 yo old definitely has an obsessive personality, and when he likes something it is all he talks about. I didn't mind as much when it was dinosaurs, or the universe, but the video game talk drives me crazy. I have considered taking away video games because that seems to be his only interest. He is not athletic at all, so is not involved in sports. My problem is if I take away video games, I feel like I will be taking away his link to his friends. He is kind of a different kid, gifted and has language and depth of understanding greater than most of his friends. He loves discussions with adults on science, politics, religion etc. Kids his age seem to like discussions on video games and sports. Any advice?
I have learned with my 10yo son to let it ride. When my son was 8 he started playing WoW with my hubby. He was obsessed to say the least. I bit my tongue. It was amazing what he was learning from playing. He learned how to read fast and comprehend, how to budget his money, how to take lead with a group of people and organize and much much more. There is so much learning going on with gaming. Minecraft is just the same. My 10yo and my 6yo LOVE it!! Especially my 6yo. He plays on the creative side. He is a multideminsional thinker. So, playing this game is helping him learn so much more than anything else I can think of. Perhaps if you look at it as an educational tool? Maybe our boys can play together?
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#39 ·
Kathy,

I definitely see that there is some educational value to it, and I definitely prefer it over some other video games, but I feel like they play it to the exclusion of many other worthwhile activities. It's so a hard to find a balance. It's nice that your kids are getting something good out of playing it. We don't let them play online with anyone that we haven't personally met, but thanks for the offer!
 
#40 ·
As with anything, we as parents need to set limits. If you don't, your kids pay for it in the long run. An adult addicted to Minecraft is far different than an 8 year old. Said 8 year old's brain is still developing and if he/she is playing to the exclusion of relationships, fresh air and outdoor play...never mind chores, homework etc...well, it's high time you all step in!
 
#41 ·
We have limits on all video game time. The kids, who are homeschooled and have a lot of free time everyday, get 1 hour Monday through Thursday. After dinner on Friday, they can play whenever they want for the weekend. This comes with a few other stipulations also, such as chores and behavior. We also do a lot of family stuff on the weekends, which is not optional, so they get to refocus on real life.

My 12 yo ds and 9 yo dd LOVE minecraft. I got them each a shirt for their birthdays that says "ONE MORE BLOCK. ONE MORE BLOCK. ONE MORE BLOCK. ONE MORE BLOCK." My dd almost peed her pants she thought it was so funny! I think it's a great game. The kids are really proud of things they build, and have a ton of fun breaking them too!
 
#42 ·
I don't put limits on the gaming, but there are a lot of other things I ask them to do (chores, homeschool, family time activities), so that does limit their time. I don't mind the social video games when the kids are playing with others that they know in real life, either close-by friends or long-distance friends.
I don't feel that screen time is inherently bad, though a purely sedentary lifestyle is certainly physically unhealthy.
I don't feel obligated to put limits on something just because the kids spend a lot of time on it. If I do feel like they are spending too much time on something, I ask myself what I'd rather have them doing. When I figure that out, and why, then I decide what approach to take in having the kids do the other activities.
 
#43 ·
I am just as concerned as you are. I have a 12 and 5 year old addicted to it. I don't feel it's fair that children are losing their ability to play with other children or take interest in other things besides computers. I worry about my children very much. I decided to get a divorce from my ex because I wasn't be listened to about how I think the children should be raised. Many people are of the mind set that this is no big deal. I am not one of those people. My heart goes out to you. Those of us who feel this isn't right are in the minority. There is a new book that came out called Talking Back to Facebook. I recommend you read it.
 
#44 ·
hi my 6 year old is the same, the game itself seems fine to me following lots of research, and does encourage his creative side and as the game has few weapons or killing apart from the creapers which i think is a survival thing, it seems to be ok, HOWEVER the problems i find are when he watches the trailers on youtube that some of the more tech minded adults post of their experiences in minecraft as they tend to give a running comentry which is sometimes fowl and full of bad lauguage and experiences.... i have contacted the main ones who my son follows which have millions of hits on you tube and asked them to tone it down, but these guys have many followers and are adults after all so my requests will probably be mentioned and laughed at...
 
#45 ·
Just updating since someone bumped this up. My own always unlimited ds still plays Minecraft regularly but I can see that he is less interested than he used to be. He's gone and found a few different games of interest to him.

But he loves being able to play with his long distance cousins and is becoming friends with some of their friends who we see in real life a few time a year. It has been great for fostering friendships with them. They do a voice chat through gmail so the ones who don't read or type well can communicate easily. It's wonderful seeing the kids working together to accomplish agreed upon goals and experimenting with their own small societies.

The language in the commentaries of the youtube videos can be annoying/inappropriate. But that is something we've been dealing with for years, long before ds started playing Minecraft. That's just the nature of the internet that it doesn't have a G rating and parental guidance is a good idea. It does make parenting more difficult because so much is so easily accessed by young kids. When ds was younger, I helped him find which people cursed less and guided him in looking for their user name rather than clicking on anything with the subject that was of interest. And sometimes he was happy to watch game play with the sound off. I don't worry about it much these days as long as ds knows not to use the words he hears.
 
#46 ·
Like many of you here, we have also gone through bouts where I feel DC is getting too much screen time. When DC was under 9 or so we limited screen time to weekends. Now that she's a bit older she does watch some stuff and get some computer time during the week but I reserve the "right" to ask her to turn it off. Within that frame work, we do what others have mentioned -- build a busy, fun day so that she doesn't want to get on. That has worked for us but I recognize the challenge for a kid who is bit more prone to media/video "addiction" and/or kids who use a computer for school.

When DC is old enough to get on the computer on a frequent basis, I'd be interested in some sort of timer for her so she doesn't end up sucking up her entire day. Maybe I'll get one for myself too.
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#47 ·
Omgosh...so nice to know someone else has EXACT SAME ISSUE as me.My son is also 11 and also addicted to Minecraft. Kind of reminds me of the Dungeons and Dragons game the kids played back in "the day". At least in this game there's no active role-playing that transfers to real-life (yet). That's about the only good thing I can say about it. The only reason I let him get an account is that he convinced me that it does have SOME thinking involved (how to build, create, concoct things). But when I discovered that there is also violence involved, I grew more concerned. HE has friends that just want to do that stuff...the violent things. I have told him at times to only do the "creative" things on there (building, creating,etc., NOT killing). That made me feel a little better.

I, too, am very concerned about his social/familial relations as a result of this game. He too, is shunning ACTUAL face-to-face friend time, Daddy time, ME time (the worst!), and doesn't want to do ANYTHING else. I'm afraid in response to your question, I have not handled this very well. We have had the opposite problem down here in the deep south as it's been 95-100 degrees for the last three months. They pretty much can't go outside, because if the heat doesn't get you, the mosquitoes will.He HATES to read,and I figure TV is just as bad,SO, we pretty much have just let him have free reign, worrying all along. There have been time (when I've thought about it) when I've told him to watch EDUCATIONAL tv as a break from the game. That is good because at least he's learning something and giving his poor wrists a break.

The problem is that Minecraft is what he always goes back to. There are filters you can use that limit the time or dictate the exact hours they can spend on the computer. I am looking into that...apparently the computer will just shut off when the time is up. I love that idea.

The fact that he is losing OLD friends because they're not into the game or he never has them over anymore breaks my heart, let alone gives up doing things with his father & I for it. I have warned him that there is a high possibility that we will NOT renew his membership if there is such a thing. I don't know if it's a lifetime fee that we paid for or an annual one. I'm praying it is annual, because I'm sick of it. On the other hand, when he's in High School (they play it, too. I'm a substitute teacher and I've seen them in computer class), I suppose it IS better than hanging out & doing drugs...may reconsider then. But then I worry about his future wife. I remember when I was first married and all he did was stay on the computer!!! Drove me crazy!!! Lots of women are married to gaming addicts and it's a serious problem in their marriages (some).

I even worry about him having Carpal Tunnel Syndrome at 13!!! Don't know if anyone ever has, but I wouldn't be surprised! And let me tell you...he had a friend over one day (one of these that tell you everything that your kid doesn't :)) and he said that there is a sexual element (when people mate). I'm sure it's not graphic, but ewwww. Apparently there is also a sniper game withing the game (which I highly do not like), and he said that there was a father that let his daughter starve to death and made her do nothing but work for him (in the game), which I believe introduces a lot of darker elements, I believe. My son said that it wasn't true, that the friend had it confused, but the very fact that I don't know for myself bothers me.Funny thing is my son has been asking for ME to get an account and play with him, which I might if I didn't have a family and a house to take care of.That also tells me that he does WANT to spend time with me doing something he LIKES to do, so I have to think of alternatives that he might enjoy, because I really don't want to contribute to his spending any more time on this thing that he has to. I feel guilty enough already. Sorry so long...therapy session for me.
 
#48 ·
I do like the idea better that he is actually talking with his friends on Skype while playing the game...he does know them from school. It's when he's on with strangers (NOT Skyping!...He's not allowed to) that I really don't like. So maybe just let him play when his actual friends are on...good idea. Thanks!
 
#50 ·
You're welcome.

Now my son is on a world of warcraft kick, but playing with the same kid he likes to minecraft with. They seem to go through their game phases together. His gaming friend is a long distance friend, from the town where we used to live, so the gaming is the main way that they continue to play together, the only way that they really can play together.

I used to do more gaming with him, (pirates of the caribbean and world of warcraft) but now I'm busier with other things. I've never played Minecraft. If you have time, I recommend setting up a free or trial account and playing just long enough to see what it's all about. Either that or have him play in the kitchen and hover over his shoulder a lot and let him tell you all about it.

My fiance does enjoy gaming and does do some online gaming with my son, when my son isn't playing with his own friends. Gaming is generally more fun when you play with people that you know in real life.
 
#51 ·
My son is 7 years old. He became interested in Mindcraft at Thanksgiving last year when we had family visit from out of town. My husband bought an iPad on Black Friday and it's been non-stop Mindcraft ever since. I curse the day it was ever introduced into our home!

We started noticing behavioral changes in January, when he went back to school (Kindergarten). He started having meltdowns and throwing tantrums. He was having trouble controlling impulsive behavior, following directions, and focusing in the classroom. He was diagnosed with ADHD-Inattentive. More recently, I've had him evaluated for Asperger's (not) and sensory processing disorder (affirmative).

My son lives and breathes Mindcraft. He studies YouTube videos, and plays or creates in the game. He would play from dawn to bedtime if I let him. It's almost a year later, and we've decided to ban it from the house. He no longer plays outside, plays with his toys, or has any other interests. This game has completely consumed him. He pitches a fit when he has to go to school, pitches a fit if we have something to do after school or on the weekends. He's been struggling in first grade, now and we've been working with the school intervention team. The school psychologist told me that these games are re-wiring the brains of young children and can actually cause ADHD, because kids get used to having data stream quickly into their brains. Real life is nothing like that. So they can't make the adjustment to receiving data input at life speed. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting all technology to no more than two hours a day. There's a very good reason for that.

I blame my husband and myself for allowing this to happen to our son. Please don't let this happen to your kids. Set limits immediately or just ban it completely. They need to play and have friends and just be kids.
 
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