11 year old addicted to Minecraft - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

11 year old addicted to Minecraft

whatsnextmom's Avatar whatsnextmom
10:39 AM Liked: 1583
#61 of 154
12-31-2012 | Posts: 1,973
Joined: Apr 2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jade76 View Post

My 14yr old son has now been playing Minecraft for quite some time but i didn't worry to much about the time he was spending playing it as I thought like all games he'd get bored of it. THIS GAME IS RUINING MY BOY'S HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All he wants to do all day everyday is play this bloody game. He doesn't leave his room for anything but a shower and a quick snack to stop his stomach from eating itself. He has minimal chores but treats me like the devil when I have to ask EVERYDAY for him to do the things a 2yr could develop a routine for. His friends no longer come over or vise versa anymore cause quote "We play Minecraft on the net". Riding his bike or Penny board are unheard of now, going out to movies or anything really doesn't happen, he ignores his pets, has become a slob, jams towels under his door at night so we can't see any light under the door, sits up till dawn and then tries to sleep all day or if he has school goes in looking like a Zombie and I get phone calls from teachers asking me why he does no homework or pays no attention. He now lies to us and goes behind our backs to play and is basically not the active, happy, honest kid I bought up. I know all teenagers go through stages but this is not a stage it is a game taking over my childs head. Other parents are worried about their kids too and the Nt News felt it nessasary to do a write up in our paper warning parents of the growing amount of parents literally losing their children to the Xbox. I have taken drastic action and band all Xbox, Play Station & PC games from the house indefinantly unless he wants to play the Wii as at least he is being active while doing this or it is something we can do together. To top it off I hear they get free time in one of their classes at school to play games??????????????????????? Even if these kids were at school 20hrs a day they are learning nothing compared to us and when I was 14 it was only 1990. How can these modern day teachers who teach these kids nothing then allow them free time ontop of the nothing they have learnt all day to play games but have the nerve to say we the parents should be doing more from home......I'm a good easy going mum who lives by the old school morals, manners etc....I am in shock that this is happening in my home and so many others and would like to see children reading and writing (so you can read it), playing sport, hanging outside doing all the things that our imaginations gave us when we were young. Kids these days have something to do everything for them or make it easier. Computers are teaching them nothing but laziness. Since when did our A4 writing books do spell checks for us? Children living on FB telling the world every little piece of their lives or someone elses. Lying about anything to get reactions, looking on porn sites at things that we as adults shouldn't even see.......I am a strong woman and I have been through a lot in my life and for the first time ever I am really concerned about what sort of future the younger generation have got. I'd sooner see them live the worst times we've had than watch the generations fall like dominos because technology made them brain dead and unused muscles made them limp. COMPUTERS YOU ARE DOING NOTHING FOR US. Back in the old days writing with pen and paper gave us handwriting we could read. Parents go ask your 10yr old to write you a short story of 100 words on a topic of their choice.......See if anything from the spelling to the handwriting to the topic to the punctuations etc... even slightly compares to what we would have done at the same age. I have been hiring staff for the last 15yrs and I tell you now barely one child in 15yrs has given me an application or a Resume without an error, mispelling or just down right rotton looking handwritng. These are children in years 9-12. In my eyes they shouldn't even be shuffling fries or pushing trolleys until they know how to calculate in their head what they are even getting paid????? Sad that adults who did learn at school rip the kiddies off and slave em......Maybe if your kids are lazy and your not worried bad luck for being a stupid F#*K. Wake up world cause mark my words history repeats and all the skills we got back in the day will get us through the tough times ahead but can your children function with no Google.............Don't know????? Why dont you google it.

 

Wow, lots of emotions here. For starters, what you are describing in your son is less about minecraft and more about being a teenager. It's really not uncommon for 14-year-olds to disappear into their rooms, pull away from family (and even friends) and slack on chores. Teenagers have been irritating their parents ever since we stopped marrying them off at 14.... they don't need a computer to be rebellious, angry, dishonest and lazy... most teenagers are some to all of those things at some point in their teen years just out of basic nature and biology. 

 

I don't agree that kids are learning nothing. Every single generation likes to use the "when I was a kid" line of attack but it's rarely fair. Kids are learning tons and often at earlier ages. My kids started algebra at age 11 while I was 14 (and it was the norm for 9th graders to be taking algebra.) My youngest is on his 3rd language and in a pre-engineering program. My eldest is taking college courses that I didn't take until I was 3 to 4 years older than her. It's true, the younger generation relies less on memorization of facts and more on the ability to find and validate facts. It's NOT easy to weed through the internet for the truth but my kids are pretty darn savvy at it. More so than the adults I know... more so than my parents generation for sure. Teachers aren't soley to blame. How much time have you spent in a classroom lately? I don't know how any teacher manages with the quantity and severity of behavioral issues that come it (and that's about home... not school for the most part.) I have complaints about how children are raised in our culture at this moment but it's US who are to blame. Parents could put limits and don't. They could buy less and don't. They could model continued reading and learning and don't. The quality of care is going down not because parents don't want to be there for their kids but because they need duel incomes and have a budget on what care they can afford.... not everyone is getting the best.

 

Media only has as much control as you give it. For us, we limited TV and computers heavily in the elementary years. The kids averaged maybe 2 hours of combined screen time a week through 6th grade and because they were busy with theatre, sports and other activities, they never even asked for it. We didn't bring a game system outside the computer until my youngest was 10 (a Wii) and we have strict rules on what sorts of games can be in the house. If they cross lines with technology, then we take it away until they can handle it better. At 15 and 12, the kids do average more screen time than they used to but the Wii goes months between uses. DS 12 does all his math online so that he can progress at his own rate (supervised by a teacher at school.) Both kids type all their papers, do their research and do many of their presentations with the use of the computer. DS 12 loves minecraft and I'd say he plays a good 5 hours a week now... mostly on weekends but it doesn't bother me. He's creating and thinking. He's interacting with friends. When it gets too much, me or one of the other moms grabs up their group and takes them to the beach or something active. They still manage to have lots of fun outside the computer too. My kids are well educated, mannered and competent....  and still drive me crazy at times.

 

I applaud you for re-evaluating your situation with your son. I hope it has the effect you desire. Personally though, I know a ton of wonderful kids who are growing into wonderful adults I'm happy to had the world to. Its not technology that is wrecking kids... it's the absence of us and their filling the absence with computers that's the issue. 


notalone's Avatar notalone
08:57 PM Liked: 0
#62 of 154
01-01-2013 | Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2013
We are happy to find out that we are not alone. We were sure it was just our parent parinoia. Reading the different posts was kind of weird, in a sense, since we could relate to most of the discussions. It is a fine balance between enjoying a game and then crossing over to addictive behaviours. Minecraft is definitely an enabler of addictive personality traits. It fuels addiction and, we are convinced, is very dangerous. In our case it is our 14 year old son. The details are very similar to what we have read. We now also know that our 11 year old girl also plays Mincraft. We made bad decisions to provide, over time, access to ipod touches and four laptop computers...we have five kids !!!! Our concern is that they will all get hooked!!! This really caught us by surprise.

my wife and I have been taliking about this issue for some time but just now, new ear and all, did we decide to reach out on the Net to see if there were, in fact, other parents struggling with the same issues.. Well, of course, and unfortunately, it did not take long to find this blog. So now we need to start to consider drastic actions starting with our 14 year old. Tough pa is that his agressive bevaiour has been magnified over the lat few months and now we now why. Our concern is his reaction but that is what parnting is about. We need to take action. We will keep ou posted.
4evermom's Avatar 4evermom
09:52 AM Liked: 601
#63 of 154
01-15-2013 | Posts: 8,752
Joined: Feb 2005

Swedish school imposes compulsory Minecraft class for 13 yos. thumb.gif

 

http://www.gizmag.com/compulsory-minecraft-lessons/25781/

 

"Video games don't have to teach reading, writing or arithmetic to be educational. There's a strong argument that the best examples wear their educational merits lightly."

 

"They learn about city planning, environmental issues, getting things done, and even how to plan for the future," Viktor Rydberg teacher Monica Ekman told English-language The Local.


journeymom's Avatar journeymom
05:37 PM Liked: 1586
#64 of 154
01-15-2013 | Posts: 7,417
Joined: Apr 2002

Oh good lord, don't let my son know.


janine99's Avatar janine99
06:19 PM Liked: 12
#65 of 154
02-03-2013 | Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2013
We've had the same problem with our son as well. When we banned him from the computer he would sit and sulk. He stayed in bed to the exclusion of his friends, not wanting to play outside. When he was up he would just sit and stare at a wall, not interacting with anyone. For all intents and purposes it would look like depression.
In the end we handles this by placing him on a mat which emits a pulsed magnetic field for eight minutes. (Dr. Oz did a program on it in 2011 regarding pain relief and arthritis). The results were astounding. Right after he came out and began arguing with everyone. Not that he was any happier but he was certainly much more animated. He even went outside to play. It makes you wonder what kind of side-effects these video games have.
JalilCheese's Avatar JalilCheese
10:08 AM Liked: 12
#66 of 154
02-04-2013 | Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2013

Hey guys, I looked up something to do with MC (minecraft don't ya know :D) on google and it came up with this thread, so i took a look and its quite interesting. So i joined up! But I'm a 13 yo who plays A LOT of minecraft, and looking at what others have said, I can see where you're coming from. Minecraft is a fantastic game (SWEDISH KIDS GET MC LESSONS? WHAT IS THIS DARK MAGIC) and I would recommend it to anyone. But! It does kinda take over your life a bit. I am keeping up quite well with hmwk, music practice, and i do do a lot of chores, but, my two friends (m, 13 & 11) have been totally changed by minecraft. They don't play outside, when I come over, all we do is play MC. And its cool for a few hours, but after a while? Even me (and i'm completely addicted) gets tired of it. Not to mention the swearing and the rudeness that they've taken on from the servers they've been playing on. 

 

I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea, however, especially about servers. They are great for socialising, and although there are a few complete wierdos I've met in the past, I've been able to deal with them very well I think. So private or whitelisted  (you have to be invited to join them) are great for playing MC with your friends, but I much prefer the larger public servers, cos if you have luck, you just might meet some amazing people, like I have. Just monitor you're kid's skype and/or teamspeak. S'all I'm sayin.

 

Anyway, my point is really, DON'T LET YOUR KID GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED. Try to make them remember that MC is a game? That's all it is. Cos when they start taking it too seriously, you have a problem. And shove them outside on a bike once in a while. But most importantly, try and see if they are juggling real life and MC well, doing hmwk, whatever, cos when MC is more important, its intervention time >:D.

-TheBlob


DHinJersey's Avatar DHinJersey
12:44 PM Liked: 122
#67 of 154
02-04-2013 | Posts: 127
Joined: Jan 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jade76 View Post

My 14yr old son has now been playing Minecraft for quite some time but i didn't worry to much about the time he was spending playing it as I thought like all games he'd get bored of it. THIS GAME IS RUINING MY BOY'S HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All he wants to do all day everyday is play this bloody game. He doesn't leave his room for anything but a shower and a quick snack to stop his stomach from eating itself. He has minimal chores but treats me like the devil when I have to ask EVERYDAY for him to do the things a 2yr could develop a routine for. His friends no longer come over or vise versa anymore cause quote "We play Minecraft on the net". Riding his bike or Penny board are unheard of now, going out to movies or anything really doesn't happen, he ignores his pets, has become a slob, jams towels under his door at night so we can't see any light under the door, sits up till dawn and then tries to sleep all day or if he has school goes in looking like a Zombie and I get phone calls from teachers asking me why he does no homework or pays no attention. He now lies to us and goes behind our backs to play and is basically not the active, happy, honest kid I bought up. I know all teenagers go through stages but this is not a stage it is a game taking over my childs head. Other parents are worried about their kids too and the Nt News felt it nessasary to do a write up in our paper warning parents of the growing amount of parents literally losing their children to the Xbox. I have taken drastic action and band all Xbox, Play Station & PC games from the house indefinantly unless he wants to play the Wii as at least he is being active while doing this or it is something we can do together. To top it off I hear they get free time in one of their classes at school to play games??????????????????????? Even if these kids were at school 20hrs a day they are learning nothing compared to us and when I was 14 it was only 1990. How can these modern day teachers who teach these kids nothing then allow them free time ontop of the nothing they have learnt all day to play games but have the nerve to say we the parents should be doing more from home......I'm a good easy going mum who lives by the old school morals, manners etc....I am in shock that this is happening in my home and so many others and would like to see children reading and writing (so you can read it), playing sport, hanging outside doing all the things that our imaginations gave us when we were young. Kids these days have something to do everything for them or make it easier. Computers are teaching them nothing but laziness. Since when did our A4 writing books do spell checks for us? Children living on FB telling the world every little piece of their lives or someone elses. Lying about anything to get reactions, looking on porn sites at things that we as adults shouldn't even see.......I am a strong woman and I have been through a lot in my life and for the first time ever I am really concerned about what sort of future the younger generation have got. I'd sooner see them live the worst times we've had than watch the generations fall like dominos because technology made them brain dead and unused muscles made them limp. COMPUTERS YOU ARE DOING NOTHING FOR US. Back in the old days writing with pen and paper gave us handwriting we could read. Parents go ask your 10yr old to write you a short story of 100 words on a topic of their choice.......See if anything from the spelling to the handwriting to the topic to the punctuations etc... even slightly compares to what we would have done at the same age. I have been hiring staff for the last 15yrs and I tell you now barely one child in 15yrs has given me an application or a Resume without an error, mispelling or just down right rotton looking handwritng. These are children in years 9-12. In my eyes they shouldn't even be shuffling fries or pushing trolleys until they know how to calculate in their head what they are even getting paid????? Sad that adults who did learn at school rip the kiddies off and slave em......Maybe if your kids are lazy and your not worried bad luck for being a stupid F#*K. Wake up world cause mark my words history repeats and all the skills we got back in the day will get us through the tough times ahead but can your children function with no Google.............Don't know????? Why dont you google it.

 

 

 

Said by every older generation about the next generation since the beginning of human history. The next generation will be just fine. 


GradysMom's Avatar GradysMom
09:45 PM Liked: 17
#68 of 154
02-26-2013 | Posts: 899
Joined: Jan 2007

My 6 yr old has had to have some one month black outs of Minecraft to get over the taking it so dang seriously issues... temper tantrums and crying when he "died".  He would want to play with monsters and then not... and for while he didn't ask for it.  but here is the thing

 

I play it to as does a 10 extended family member and we get together and kind plan and bond over it... and because our families have similar rules we rarely abuse our time on it. It is a pretty easy thing to play for 2-3 hours and barely finish any of your plans... but I find a binge beyond that creates some really emotional kids.

 

We have loads to talk about and research new ideas on the computer... it has helped me bridge the generation gap.  In my experience this game needs active absolute limits.  Time windows, count downs to time it gets turned off... and snacks while they play... glasses of water shoved in their face... and when it is off that is it for the day.  They have to go think of something else...

 

But I'll admit I play it late at night as my me time thing.


Dawne -Kornhaas's Avatar Dawne -Kornhaas
05:36 AM Liked: 0
#69 of 154
03-08-2013 | Posts: 2
Joined: May 2012

PHEW! I am so glad I am not alone! My 13 year old loves Minecraft and will play it all day if I am not watching. He also doesn't get together with his friends at their home (or mine) anymore but they connect on Minecraft. I like the concept  of Minecraft I just wish he wouldn't play for so long. He likes to build things and before Minecraft he was building with Legos and was a lego freak.

It did get in the way of homework, so I had to put limits on it that he can't play it until homework is complete but now he has an x box and can play it online through the x box. 


sillymom44's Avatar sillymom44
02:09 PM Liked: 20
#70 of 154
03-09-2013 | Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2011

My 10 year old discovered Minecraft this year and both he and my 6 year old play it.  Internet, video games, and TV have never been a problem in our house b/c we imposed limits from day 1.  There has never been a time when they had unlimited access to screens and that has worked well for us b/c there are never any arguments or problems.  They are allowed 30 minutes twice a day (once in morning and once in evening) of screen time during the week as long as all homework and chores are done and a little more on the weekend depending on what our schedule is. They play outside every day and most of the weekend if weather allows.  They are awesome kids, so I know that they'll be OK  :)

 

 I hate video games, minecraft, etc... I grew up with a hippie mom and we didn't have TV until I was 15 or 16.  Anyway-- I have realized that as long as they are not addicted, it's fine (and as long as it's age appropriate).  I love facebook, mothering.com, blogs, etc...  So I understand why my boys like Minecraft.  


ACarter's Avatar ACarter
07:40 AM Liked: 15
#71 of 154
03-18-2013 | Posts: 27
Joined: Feb 2013

I'm inclined to agree with your husband, at least for right now. If it's the winter and he's being respectful and keeping up with his responsibilities why not let him play? I'm sure he'll get sick of it eventually if he keeps playing as much as he is and then it'll be on to the next thing. Once the spring rolls around I would agree you might want to pry him away from the computer and get him outside once in a while.
 


JamieCatheryn's Avatar JamieCatheryn
12:36 PM Liked: 1295
#72 of 154
03-19-2013 | Posts: 5,073
Joined: Dec 2005

My 6 year old is addicted too and the 3 year old goes along with it. We restrict him to 2 hrs a day on computer or ipad to do whatever he wants with it (within reason), plus maybe some multiplayer minecraft or xbox football on weekends if his dad or I want to play with him. He talks about it and thinks about it a lot when not even playing though, it's kind of freaky to me. It was plants vs zombies before that and this has more variety and creativity, I do like that. At age 13 I was addicted to the mmorpg Ultima Online for almost a year (playing many hours each day) and found the best way to get off it was explore crafts in the real world that the game got me interested in: chainmail armor making, attending medieval re-enactment stuff, herbalism, etc, and join communities of those who also did these things. So I'm trying to introduce some things similar for Minecraft to real world: building stuff with wood pallets, with snow, with dirt, with rocks, farming, metalurgy, fighting with padded swords, geology, maybe one day hunting/trapping. In my experience that kind of thing works great as a teen when you have the autonomy and dexterity to really take on projects without a lot of parental help, particularly larger building and crafting projects and anything a bit dangerous. It's more limited with my 6 year old.


JAG100's Avatar JAG100
01:02 PM Liked: 15
#73 of 154
03-21-2013 | Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2013

  My wife & I have limited the playing of Minecraft to weekends only for our two young boys:

 

  Please be aware of the dangers of Multiplayer.  Most of the servers do not use extensive language and cyberbullying filters and the nastiness and language is appauling.  More and more parents are beginning to wake up and realize what they are allowing their children to be exposed to.

 

  As a concerned parent, I have created an alternative multiplayer server at this address:  myncraft.no-ip.org

 

  Outside of the game you can read more about this at www.facebook.com/myncraft

 

  Our server features an extensive set of language and cyber bullying filters to create a much safer environment both for children, who are sick of the nastiness, and also for parents who do not wish to expose their children to the same.

 

Warm Regards,

Joseph Gray
Concerned Parent


journeymom's Avatar journeymom
11:35 AM Liked: 1586
#74 of 154
03-22-2013 | Posts: 7,417
Joined: Apr 2002

Yes, dh created a separate server for ds and his friends to use. Just safer and more fun for everyone. 


yourtheparent's Avatar yourtheparent
03:04 PM Liked: 10
#75 of 154
04-29-2013 | Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2013
I think it's sad and wrong to let kids sit and punch a screen over any other activities. I've seen my neighbor quit soccer and basketball ( he was 11) and get fat. It's easy to just let your kid stay on that thing as long as they are rushing through their duties.. Just to get back. Sure it's a typical 21 st century kid thing, but is that good? Why are all these parents okay with their kids plugged into a virtual world instead of living in the real one. There are a lot of future consequences to this. I feel parents today wanna do the easy thing. If more parents said no, there would be more kids at the park playing or in the neighborhood playing. Eventually the neighbor kids mom took away video game privileges during the week and the fat boy was forced to ride his bike, his scooter and finally shoot some baskets with my son who was the only kid outside.
JamieCatheryn's Avatar JamieCatheryn
04:48 PM Liked: 1295
#76 of 154
04-30-2013 | Posts: 5,073
Joined: Dec 2005

While it is addictive, it can be possible to achieve a balance. And it doesn't have to be scheduling them to death with organized sports either. One of my boys is all muscle and the middle one is rail thin (and the baby is fat but young bf babies are supposed to be :) ). They use games most days, watch shows sometimes, minecraft is a convenient outlet for creativity, and involves learning some logic and practicing reading too. Having the chance to run around outside with other kids or with their parents most every day is important too, or better yet do some engaging physical work. Also more than anything it's the kinds of foods available that contribute to healthy bodies, you only gain weight if you eat more calories than you burn, and that's almost impossible with whole foods to eat and water to drink.


mama4times's Avatar mama4times
01:00 AM Liked: 10
#77 of 154
05-07-2013 | Posts: 2
Joined: May 2013

Oh My,  I read this post and it sure hits home! I have 4 teen and preteen boys who all LOVE Minecraft and a husband who develops video games, No getting away from it here...lol, But I have to point out some positive things about it, My kids have been building legos since they were babies and I can look at this game as a building type game... They create their worlds and  build very cool elaborate buildings and sceens. This game got one of my sons to research castles and he has built some amazing castles in his world, last year he had a class and they did a unit on vikings, and he built several viking ships and took screen shots of them and took them in for extra credit, pretty cool.... One of my other boys built an interactive level that had history questions and when they answered the right one they got to go down a correct path, and had rewards, for a history class, and got an A on the project... I am not saying they don't have to have some moderation, but my kids do sports and play music and I feel this just adds to their extracurricular activities, if grade slip, so does the fun... the advice about the online is good, can't control the outside world, we have our own server and the kids invite their friends to join, my DH also has a filter and can moniter the chatting so the boys cant swear or destroy hard, time consuming things they have built... I think the punishment is a jail, that they built and if they do something bad in the game their character gets jailed on an island for 12 hours.... pretty funny, the sign outside the jail says you have been jailed for being offensive... That way It is easier to reprimand other peoples kids, without being too offensive ourselves.... just wanted to shed a light on some positive aspects of the game...good luck


vlad94's Avatar vlad94
07:17 PM Liked: 0
#78 of 154
05-18-2013 | Posts: 1
Joined: May 2013

Hello everyone, im new to the forum. The reason I'm here is because I was doing a research on Minecraft addictions and so I found this forum. My son is 8 years old and I've become concerned about the addiction he's creating to this minecraft game. He used to play other games on PS3 and watch TV but he quit everything and it's becoming isolated into this game. He wants to eat and do everything in front of this game. He's losing interest on everything. The game itself doesn't have any violence but my concern is that he's not switching and on the future he could easily become easilyt become addicted to something and not able to overcome the situation. Any advice? 


4evermom's Avatar 4evermom
07:35 PM Liked: 601
#79 of 154
05-18-2013 | Posts: 8,752
Joined: Feb 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by vlad94 View Post

Hello everyone, im new to the forum. The reason I'm here is because I was doing a research on Minecraft addictions and so I found this forum. My son is 8 years old and I've become concerned about the addiction he's creating to this minecraft game. He used to play other games on PS3 and watch TV but he quit everything and it's becoming isolated into this game. He wants to eat and do everything in front of this game. He's losing interest on everything. The game itself doesn't have any violence but my concern is that he's not switching and on the future he could easily become easilyt become addicted to something and not able to overcome the situation. Any advice? 
He's not switching back to PS games, not because Minecraft is more addictive, but because it is a vastly more interesting and complicated game than anything on the PS. It's like complaining that a child is reading War and Peace instead of variety of picture books. Another way to look at it is your son is developing a greater attention span and the ability to focus. Going from a PS game to Minecraft is like going from watching Sesame Street to watching full length movies:-)
4evermom's Avatar 4evermom
07:35 PM Liked: 601
#80 of 154
05-18-2013 | Posts: 8,752
Joined: Feb 2005
double post
PamelaMassey's Avatar PamelaMassey
05:38 AM Liked: 18
#81 of 154
05-19-2013 | Posts: 22
Joined: May 2013
I am all for creative games like this bc they are learning hand eye coordination, problem solving, concentration & creativity while being able to socialize & make new friends. My husband has been playing game systems since he was a child (now 31) & may now be an addict. The days he's off work (he's an EMT & works 3 24 hr shifts a week) he wakes up, straight to his xbox 360 playing an online game & stays there till he comes to bed. He usually cooks supper so he's up & down playing the game while doing that. I'm not bashing these games at all, my 6 yr old did much better in school this yr after we got him an xbox ie: concentration, hand eye coordination, etc. Just wanted to share my experience as a possible look into the future. I limit my children on electronics & encourage outside play daily (unless it's raining, but that's what board games are for)
stressedmom's Avatar stressedmom
12:08 AM Liked: 0
#82 of 154
05-24-2013 | Posts: 3
Joined: May 2013
My 12 yo daughter is addicted. I had no idea how bad it was...I thought she was just having hormones age, crying, tired, homework issues...But I found her a couple of times late at night 10:30pm with iPod and this week on computer playing... I think she isn't sleeping. When she has had computer homework assignments she would not complete them and would play MC and tell mom and dad she did her computer assignment for school. I stripped the programs off the computers, I bought a computer monitoring and restrictive program, kids watch.com I hope we can straighten this out. Any other suggestions helpful. I just can't believe this...I am so very stressed and upset...
PamelaMassey's Avatar PamelaMassey
01:56 PM Liked: 18
#83 of 154
05-24-2013 | Posts: 22
Joined: May 2013
Set certain hours for daily game playing, TV time, reading time, outside play, etc. like a schedule. Be consistent with your schedule. I find it helpful to say like...there's 30 min left, 20 min left, 10, 5, 3 & 1. It will be hard implementing a schedule but after standing your ground & not giving in to crying, the 2nd day is much easier than the 1st. They learn to expect it & the kids I'm babysitting now think it's cool to set an alarm. Like for quiet time they listen for the alarm & know it's over. Or you could say no gaming till after or before supper. There's a couple different options to handle the situation. Remember the key to parenting is always be consistent with what you say & enforce punishment if need be. Like if you let her play 3 hrs a day & she fusses about only getting 3 hrs, you could day....you just lost an hr for back talking. It's ok to reward kids & let them earn it back for good behavior, like not fussing again. Hope this helps you at all. My oldest turns 13 next month so I know 12 yr old girls can be very challenging.
journeymom's Avatar journeymom
10:00 AM Liked: 1586
#84 of 154
06-03-2013 | Posts: 7,417
Joined: Apr 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by stressedmom View Post

My 12 yo daughter is addicted. I had no idea how bad it was...I thought she was just having hormones age, crying, tired, homework issues...But I found her a couple of times late at night 10:30pm with iPod and this week on computer playing... I think she isn't sleeping. When she has had computer homework assignments she would not complete them and would play MC and tell mom and dad she did her computer assignment for school. I stripped the programs off the computers, I bought a computer monitoring and restrictive program, kids watch.com I hope we can straighten this out. Any other suggestions helpful. I just can't believe this...I am so very stressed and upset...

 

Hey Stressedmom, it's been a week, hope you and your dd are doing okay.  Pamela has great, practical suggestions there. 

 

I'll just add that generally, 12 years old can be difficult for children (not to mention parents!).  Your daughter maybe would have had the same problem being honest about her school assignments even without the draw of computer games.  33 years ago I was having the same problems getting finished, and being honest with my mom (and myself) about it. But instead of playing on the computer when I was supposed to be doing homework, I was reading books.

 

My kids are 18 years old and almost 14 years old.  Both of them responded to the huge increased academic load dumped on them in 6th and 7th grade by withdrawing, and lying about finishing the assignments. But they were lying to themselves before they were lying to me.  This was their way of coping.  Don't take it personally.  It's not okay, but do not get stressed out. It is in the range of normal.  In my opinion, this is about two important things: saying goodbye to carefree childhood, and managing the sheer amount of stuff in their binders and back packs along with learning how to keep track of assignments from 5 or 6 different teachers.  Your daughter is probably eventually going to get a better handle on the second one with time. Let her experiment with planners and organizers to find what works for her.  My kids both found 8th grade was quite a bit easier than 7th grade. The first part is a little more esoteric, but frankly I think it's more important.  Make sure your dd's life has some balance.  None of us, including parents, should go without regular down time, and real, honest fun.  No one wants to grow up if it means never having fun again. 

 

Quote:
It's ok to reward kids & let them earn it back for good behavior, like not fussing again.

 

Definitely. I'd let your dd have Minecraft, but put limits on it.

 

Edited to add, take a look at this:

 

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2010.html

 

Please ignore the adhd part.  I think it's irrelevant. This is helpful for all kinds of kids. 


Sunny Sherlock's Avatar Sunny Sherlock
03:02 AM Liked: 0
#85 of 154
06-04-2013 | Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super Pickle View Post

We enrolled our 11 year old in K12 this year, and they sent us a personal computer( we already had a laptop, but it was not for game playing). Anyway, my 11 and 8 year old sons asked for Minecraft for Christmas. We thought it looked like a cool game and got it for them, with the stipulation that the 8 yo not use the multi-player function and that the 11 yo only chat with neighborhood friends.  
I do see the attraction of the game, and I see the potential for lots of fun and creativity. My concern is that it is becoming addicting. The 11 yo is agreeable enough that if I ask him respectfully to come do such-and-such, he will turn off Minecraft and do it, but he rarely does anything else on his own initiative. He doesn't even go to his neighborhood friends' houses anymore to play. I'll suggest that he go  invite so-and-so over, and he replies that he's already playing with so-and-so on Minecraft.  He hurries through his schoolwork and instrument practice so he can get to playing on the computer.  Now, it is cold outside, and I'm not one of those "Out in any weather" type people. I was born in the South and live in the Midwest now, so to me, winter is indoor season.  The computer goes back in June, at the end of the school year, but I am just not sure how to approach things until then. My husband thinks I should just let him play as long as he is keeping up with school, his music, and his sport. I feel that there is something wrong with being on the computer every time you have a second of free time. 

Does anyone else have this problem? How have you handled it?

Sunny Sherlock's Avatar Sunny Sherlock
03:23 AM Liked: 0
#86 of 154
06-04-2013 | Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2013
I'm a learning specialist and educational therapist for K-8. I work with kids in school and in my private practice. I've never seen such a dramatic impact on kids as minecraft and other video games. For those of you who think it's harmless because of there is no violence just let your kid play it for a month or two. It is as bad as drugs for teenagers. Think about it. Does this sound like an addiction to you? Wake up and don't want to go to school, especially on Mondays, after playing all weekend. Could use it as a bribe for just about anything. You kid is thinking and talking about it at school during lunch and recess on a daily basis. Your kid can't wait until school is over because they might be able to play. Your kid would choose minecraft over just about any other daily activity. Your kid begs to play. Your kid goes into a trance and can't hear you talking to them, often not responding. Your kid gets very cranky when you tell him or her to stop playing and when you don't allow them to play. Pretty soon your kid doesn't want to do school work, or read, or even play with neighborhood friends. And, when they get older, they want to move onto more intense video games. I have seen kids who think about it first thing in the morning, all day at school, and obsess over playing it after school. I know it sounds extreme, but some of these kids end up in therapy, basically because of minecraft. But the true test of addiction? Try taking it away.
journeymom's Avatar journeymom
10:54 AM Liked: 1586
#87 of 154
06-04-2013 | Posts: 7,417
Joined: Apr 2002

Please check out the school in Sweden with a mandatory Minecraft class. 

 

http://www.edudemic.com/2013/01/this-swedish-school-now-has-a-mandatory-minecraft-class/

 

Quote:
I know it sounds extreme, but some of these kids end up in therapy, basically because of minecraft.

 

This logic is false.  Or, I doubt it has been proven to be true.  Prove that Minecraft alone is causing these children to end up in therapy.  Correlation does not equal causation.  My hunch, based upon accumulated wisdom, is that the majority of children play Minecraft without requiring therapy.  Just like most people can drink alcohol without spiraling into problematic behavior,  some people are predisposed to addiction.  It's more likely that children in therapy with an addiction to Minecraft have significant other psychological, physiological and developmental problems. These issues cause a range of problems that impact a child's daily life, of which a Minecraft addiction is only one.  

 

It's been 15 months since I first posted here when my son was in the thick of it.  For a while Minecraft is what he and his friends talked about at lunch time, it's what they texted each other about, and his friends all played on the server his dad created for him.  He's almost 14 y.o. now and it's been weeks since he last played MC, and his most intense phase was over probably 5 months ago. He most certainly has *not* moved on to increasingly intense and violent games.  What he talks about perpetually, to the point that sometimes I want to scream, is Homestuck, Doctor Who, and g-d damn My Little Pony. He skypes with his friends and that's what they all talk about. He has not moved on to Grand Theft Auto or any of the other more controversial games whose names I can't think of, because they're not in our lives.

 

Moderation in everything. 

 

 

Edited lots of times as my thoughts developed. 


4evermom's Avatar 4evermom
06:49 PM Liked: 601
#88 of 154
06-04-2013 | Posts: 8,752
Joined: Feb 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunny Sherlock View Post

I'm a learning specialist and educational therapist for K-8. I work with kids in school and in my private practice. I've never seen such a dramatic impact on kids as minecraft and other video games. For those of you who think it's harmless because of there is no violence just let your kid play it for a month or two. It is as bad as drugs for teenagers.

Oh my:-D My son has been playing Minecraft for years. He has been playing for so long, not because he is addicted, but because it is a very open ended and interesting game that is constantly being modified by the players. It is always changing and evolving. And he will stop to do other things because he knows he can play it whenever he wants. Severely restricting something interesting is the best method to ensure someone will obsess over it. Kids who *know* they can play are going to be able to think of other things than those poor manipulated kids you speak of who spend the day wondering if they "might" be able to play.

I don't know of many kids who are eager to go to school Monday mornings. Honestly, I'd be a bit more worried about the ones that do after the newness and charm of kindergarten has worn off. Why haven't they realized school is full of busy work yet?
4evermom's Avatar 4evermom
07:26 PM Liked: 601
#89 of 154
06-04-2013 | Posts: 8,752
Joined: Feb 2005
As my son was typing messages to others while playing Minecraft, just now, I was remembering how instrumental games like this have been for his learning to read, type, spell, and do calculations...
Super Pickle's Avatar Super Pickle (TS)
08:32 AM Liked: 36
#90 of 154
06-05-2013 | Posts: 1,680
Joined: Apr 2002

Well, my son who was 11 when I started this thread doesn't do too much Minecraft anymore. He went back to public school in the fall and has been so busy with school and activities that he kind of forgot about it.  My younger son who is now 10 is currently really into it, and I have changed my approach. Instead of just starting from the assumption that this is BAD because it's a computer game, and I'm prejudiced against electronics and gamers, I am trying to be open to the possibility that there is a reason for his drive to play Minecraft that is similar to the drive of my four year old to cut paper for hours on end or my 18 month old to drop coins into the piggy bank, empty it, and drop the coins in again, over and over. Maybe it satisfies some inner need for development. I even watched over his shoulder for a while this morning and rubbed his back. He appreciated my taking an interest (if feigned).  When I need him to stop to go somewhere or do something, I ask politely, and give him a chance to come to a stopping point, and I expect him to wrap it up as quickly as possible and come pleasantly. And I have stopped being mad that he doesn't just come up with something else to do on his own. I am trying to provide those other experiences, or remind him of other things he likes doing, like papercraft or drawing.


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