11 year old addicted to Minecraft - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 169 Old 05-23-2014, 02:26 PM
 
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My daughter is 14, she said she has played it here and there.  I have NEVER seen her on it at all. Instagram, Twitter, and some other site (that I can't think of right now- maybe Tumblr?) are where she is mostly.  My two best friends' kids 9,8, and 6 are addicted, the 5 and 4 year olds are not into it yet (they are sisters of the 9 year old).  Any time we get together, this is all they do- at restaurants, parties, no matter where we are.  The nine year old hat a FIT when we were in a place where she couldn't get wifi (not sure why you need it, but I guess she did).  

 

The parents of the 8 and 6 year old think it's cute. They keep saying "this is the new play date".  I feel like the 6 year old is already socially awkward, and way too young for this (but is very big on doing everything his big brother does).  They do other things, thankfully (mom throws them into every sport imaginable), but to me, it seems a bit excessive.  The reason I worry is because I see how excessive kids are with the net as they get older (adults as well, obviously).

 

I believe that with all behaviors, everyone has a different personality; children and adults alike.  For example, if I decide to have some Oreo cookies, and I take the entire package out and have it in front of me, I can stop at 2 or three.  My daughter and my husband cannot.  When she was little, if there was a huge spread of dessert at a holiday occasion, she felt it was okay to just keep going.  The same with television, internet, staying up late on weekends and vacations, and any other thing she enjoys.  This is not a new teen-age behavior.  She NEEDS limits.  I do not consider myself very strict with her, I try very hard (especially at age 14) to discuss 'doing the right thing'. I go to bed very early; I tell her "I am a grown up, my mom does not set my bed time, yet I still choose on some nights to go to sleep at 9:30.  I pick my battles.

 

I also do agree that too much regulation and limits can bite you in the butt later on. Another friend of mine (with a 13 year old) is painfully strict with her. As strict as she has been with her, she too, would want to devour the dessert table if given the chance.  My daughter tells me about the 'little' rebellious things she sees her doing.  Right now, they are little things, but very soon, they will both be entering the world of High School, where their ability to self-regulate will be tested daily, in many ways. 

 

Some kids need more limits than others. Some kids can be told "ok honey, no more Minecraft for today", others will pitch a full-on fit.  Same with adults.

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#152 of 169 Old 06-07-2014, 04:58 PM
 
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I have one son, that would stay on those games 24/7 If I let him! NO WAY! He is limited! I'm not sure that's "healthy" because kids need exercise, and social interaction!
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#153 of 169 Old 06-07-2014, 06:57 PM
 
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When we finished school for the year mine thought they could focus their whole day every day on screen time, or when can we start it, how long can we play, throwing fits when it's time to get off. It's less minecraft lately, a mix of different games and videos now. But I had to severely limit it. Weekdays there's the occasional movies as a family or multiplayer games together for an hour, weekends they have about 2-3 hours a day to do what they want.

So, my oldest got a shovel out a dug a hole in the yard. He actually found a pile of coal. He was filthy, but thrilled. MC IRL FTW.
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#154 of 169 Old 11-19-2014, 01:53 PM
 
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Arrow minecraft game usage tracker available

So many kids play Minecraft many hours per week but we have restricted them to play no more than 4 hours/week but how to keep track of these things?
We don't want to control kids by locking the computer down but just notice what they do and how much of it.

Anyways, we did some research and built this site, which is specifically made for parents whose kids play minecraft game.

http://wickedcool.io/minetrack/

So we created this application and started to use on our own kids PC and it worked great.
Now we can see how much and when do they play Minecraft.

We recommend it for any parents out there who would like to track this game usage.

Thanks for reading...
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#155 of 169 Old 12-17-2014, 08:13 AM
 
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Has anyone found a way to lock Minecraft after a specified amount of time? Addiction does not begin to describe our household. The problem is my son needs his laptop for homework but can't control himself. After several warnings I need to be able to stop him from playing the game but can't take away his laptop. Any suggestions?
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#156 of 169 Old 12-17-2014, 10:10 AM
 
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I'm not sure there's a decent unhackable tool that would allow you to block access to Minecraft selectively at certain times, via the PC interface, the web interface, both online and in offline mode. I think the simplest cheapest most effective way to block it is to find a cheap used underpowered netbook and get him to use only that until his homework is done. A lot of people I know probably have a barely functional circa-2002 laptop in their basement that they'd probably give away or sell for $30. The 'x' key doesn't work, or the sound card is toast, but for a kid who has proven himself undeserving of trust and full access to up-to-date tech tools, that sort of machine would be enough.

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#157 of 169 Old 12-17-2014, 11:30 AM
 
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One thing you could do is go to the Minecraft website and change the password on his account. Unfortunately once he's logged in with a new password, he can keep going back. You'd have to change the password each night, so it won't open up for him the next day when he sits down to do home work. You could give him the new password once he's done his work... once he has the password he can change it to something you don't know, so if he's really resistant to this idea you could have a fight on your hands.

It's a laptop, you could restrict it's use to the kitchen table or somewhere you can monitor him easily. Does he need internet for his homework? The wifi password to your router could be changed so that he has to plug the laptop into the wall (hopefully in a more public location of the house) to get internet.
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#158 of 169 Old 12-17-2014, 11:48 AM
 
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I haven't gone through all the posts but I wanted to say that I control screen time in our house. So at the given time every day, I go through the house and collect all the cords and/or screens and hide them until it's time to get them out again the next day. They understand because they admit it's so addictive and they can't resist the temptation when they see a screen. There are times when they turn off the screens on their own when the time is up and I don't have to take them away, but I seem to have to back to taking them all away for a while at some point.

As for helping them build their own will for healthy screen time, I have noticed that my 13 year old is doing this on his own. He knows how tempting his iPod is, so when he's studying, he puts it away out of reach and out of sight of him. I think it will come.
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#159 of 169 Old 12-17-2014, 10:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Frustratedparent View Post
Has anyone found a way to lock Minecraft after a specified amount of time? Addiction does not begin to describe our household. The problem is my son needs his laptop for homework but can't control himself. After several warnings I need to be able to stop him from playing the game but can't take away his laptop. Any suggestions?
There has to be a balance between self regulation and parental control while helping them work on learning self regulation. For some children, it can take a year or even two for a young teenager to master any kind of regulation when they are for all intensive purposes addicted. Some are never able to grasp self regulation. At some point, I believe parents need to step in and show them where the line is by providing a cut off including limiting access, strict time control and repercussions when they break the set rules or ignore chores, homework or even lie to gain more game time. Mostly I find children that get addicted to the point of lacking social interaction as well as slipping on homework and studies may need to lose the game altogether for extended periods until they can show they have been able to rebalance other parts of their life or get their grades up.

@ndalal thank you for the application to help track their usage. Hopefully, as they see the time balloons they will become more aware of just how quickly time flies and see when they've met their time limit. At the same time, knowing a parent can log in and track their usage will further help them learn awareness and then hopefully self regulation. It should provide us as the parents an opportunity to discuss their usage, over usage, and lead to discussions on their improvement or their trouble with self regulating.

Unfortunately, when it gets to the point of blatant lying, like my homework is done when it's not, the ramifications need to fit the crime. They are lying in order to get more game time and I don't think they should continue having access to the game until they learn the seriousness of their actions. In this case, I need a way to lock out the game. @Mummoth suggested changing the minecraft password and that could work since it would not be turning it on and off each day; rather, they would lose access for a week or even more.

Hopefully with tracking their usage and the ability to stop their access at times, this game can be fun and useful rather than an all consuming addiction.

Last edited by Frustratedparent; 12-17-2014 at 10:44 PM.
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#160 of 169 Old 04-22-2016, 12:40 PM
 
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Minecraft

Like many others in this thread my son is addicted to minecraft. He starts asking to use the ipad as soon as he gets up in the morning. If i try to just let him use it early in the day, he still bugs me for it all day. If I make him wait, he still asks me throughout the day.

Our biggest issue is that we will not get off when he is supposed to though. I have tried - you have 15 minutes left, you have 5 minutes left, etc.... but that makes no difference. And when I do take it from him - either right on time or after he finished whatever he was building, he get angry at me. Really angry. So no matter how long I let him use it, he still gets angry when he has to get off.

The result is my day and my relationship has changed to being harassed to use the ipad and him being angry at me. Last weekend, he called me a witch and told me I was lying about his time being up. So right now the ipad is in time out. My son is 10 - I neglected to mention that. I don't want to head into the preteen/ teen years with him thinking it is okay to call me names and accuse me of lying, etc....

Has anyone else dealt with this. I am at my wits end of what to do other than just banning computer use until school is out. Suggestions appreciated!

Mama to 10 yo ds and 7 yo dd.
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#161 of 169 Old 04-22-2016, 02:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Frustratedparent View Post
Has anyone found a way to lock Minecraft after a specified amount of time? Addiction does not begin to describe our household. The problem is my son needs his laptop for homework but can't control himself. After several warnings I need to be able to stop him from playing the game but can't take away his laptop. Any suggestions?
Yes, you can create user accounts on your computer, and each child gets their own, with their own password. Once a used account is created, as the administrator, you can control and/or ban websites, or general types of websites. You can also control what times of day and length of time that user can be logged in. These are usually available in all Windows computers. You just have to learn how to use the Control Panel and User Access controls.

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#162 of 169 Old 04-22-2016, 02:09 PM
 
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Like many others in this thread my son is addicted to minecraft. He starts asking to use the ipad as soon as he gets up in the morning. If i try to just let him use it early in the day, he still bugs me for it all day. If I make him wait, he still asks me throughout the day.

Our biggest issue is that we will not get off when he is supposed to though. I have tried - you have 15 minutes left, you have 5 minutes left, etc.... but that makes no difference. And when I do take it from him - either right on time or after he finished whatever he was building, he get angry at me. Really angry. So no matter how long I let him use it, he still gets angry when he has to get off.

The result is my day and my relationship has changed to being harassed to use the ipad and him being angry at me. Last weekend, he called me a witch and told me I was lying about his time being up. So right now the ipad is in time out. My son is 10 - I neglected to mention that. I don't want to head into the preteen/ teen years with him thinking it is okay to call me names and accuse me of lying, etc....

Has anyone else dealt with this. I am at my wits end of what to do other than just banning computer use until school is out. Suggestions appreciated!
We had that problem with our kids on World of Warcraft back when our oldest was a preteen, and the younger ones were in grade school. They got downright impossible to live with. We simply banned the game entirely. It's not needed, and it's not healthy. Since they couldn't be civil human beings, they didn't get to play. Ever. It has still never been re-installed at our house 10 years later.

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#163 of 169 Old 04-22-2016, 04:56 PM
 
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Wow, this is an old thread.

I have a 14yo who spends a lot of time online playing games. She used to play Minecraft; now she's moved on (yes, it does happen).

Sometimes she plays games when she shouldn't. Sometimes she gives me attitude when I tell her to stop playing and do schoolwork, do chores, read a book, whatever. Every now and then she lies about what she's actually doing on the computer.

None of this is okay, and it is all dealt with, but it seems like relatively normal teenage stuff to me. I don't blame the computer games. She is responsible for her behavior whether she's playing games or not.

Right now her computer is in a public area of the house and she's not allowed to use her phone in her room because she has proven herself untrustworthy when it comes to electronics. She does not like this but that's the way things are going to be for now. I am not generally an "authoritarian" parent but if preteens are fighting rules about iPad or phone use, then those devices should be put away.

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#164 of 169 Old 05-04-2016, 11:09 AM
 
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I heard that the kids in this game might be really aggressive and offense each other. I don't allow my boy to play such games at all.
I would encourage you to learn a bit more about the issue before offering opinions based on hearsay.

Kids might be aggressive anywhere. At school, on the bus, in their bedrooms during a playdate, at the park, on a Minecraft server. True. we still let them go to school, have friends over, play at the park. From what I've observed, the social interactions on Minecraft servers are actually less fraught with poor behaviour than those in real life because of the limitations of the medium (obviously there's no physical aggression, for example) and due to the creative, passionate, positive attitudes of those playing.

But the main thing I wanted to point out is that Minecraft is a rich and interesting game to play in single player mode, not logged into a multi-player server. As a parent you can easily remove any risk of encountering another person by simply by not using multi-player mode. Played that way it's like an incredibly robust virtual Lego set that you can use to build an imaginary world and play out stories in. If you got to know the game I'm pretty sure you'd be blown away.

Single player mode is fantastic fun, but having said that there are some pretty incredible multi-player servers. The virtual school my dd was a part of last fall hosts an amazing educational server that has adult facilitators setting collaborative challenges, encouraging the kids to explore and learn from each other and do research outside the game to enhance their understanding of the virtual systems they're emulating.

Parents are completely entitled to their own approaches on this, of course. I'm not suggesting you should change what you're doing. But your approach, and your advice here, is based on a faulty understanding of the game. If you're interested in learning a bit more about the educational and creative possibilities of the game (in this case in its school version), have a look at this video:

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#165 of 169 Old 05-04-2016, 12:36 PM
 
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It is not really cool, I have to say. Especially if he plays it online. I heard that the kids in this game might be really aggressive and offense each other. I don't allow my boy to play such games at all. His favourite video game is Club Penguin. It is a very nice and beautiful game. Club Penguin Missions are educational and interesting for the kid. They affect him only the good way, I guess. Don't let your kids get addicted to any games, anyway. Spend more time together with them
There are quite a few parents of teens here, since this is the Preteens and Teens forum. My 14yo would have no interest in Club Penguin, and I'm sure many other teens would not either. I agree that we need to be aware of how our kids' online life affects them, but there are other solutions than Club Penguin.

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#166 of 169 Old 05-04-2016, 01:23 PM
 
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My 14yo would have no interest in Club Penguin, and I'm sure many other teens would not either. I agree that we need to be aware of how our kids' online life affects them, but there are other solutions than Club Penguin.
Lol, yes, I think most kids outgrow interest in Club Penguin by age 10 or so. Not really a game for the teen or tween demographic, at least not in most cases.

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#167 of 169 Old 05-05-2016, 01:34 PM
 
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Never heard of club penguin. Actually, on the subject of minecraft, my 4yo daughter uses it to spawn a vast array of flowers, and chicks with their mommies. Her screen is fully of gardens, and little animals.

She was put onto it by her older brothers who use it to build yes, but also to annihilate zombies, skeletons and villagers.

Anyway, my point is, the game can be what you make it.
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#168 of 169 Old 05-18-2016, 08:25 AM
 
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All these addictions are going to last only till a particular. Change is imminent.

Later on it will be skating, porn, movies all this are part of it. Anyways heard minecraft really helps cognitive function
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#169 of 169 Old 05-18-2016, 03:52 PM
 
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All these addictions are going to last only till a particular. Change is imminent.

Later on it will be skating, porn, movies all this are part of it. Anyways heard minecraft really helps cognitive function
Could you elaborate on how it helps cognitive function?

My concern is not so much the game itself, but what it replaces. My 8yo's best friend isnt allowed screens yet, and he is practising Bach Preludes and Fugues. I know of kids who are reading a whole lot more than my kids because their parents (or usually babysitters) dont allow as much screen time as I do. I feel like a bad mother, but I dont have the means to hire babysitters...
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