15 year olds decided to take the van for a spin...AAARRRG! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 04-30-2012, 02:55 PM - Thread Starter
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My 15 yr old dd, whom has her drivers permit, decided to take a friends mom's van out for a spin the other night while their parents were out. The three girls drove about a mile down to the beach and then to the store to buy candy. It turns out the girl who's house she was at apparently did the same thing the night before with a different friend!

While I am glad that they made the decision to have my daughter do the driving...since she is the one who's been driving for 4-5 months and the other two don't drive, or don't drive well...it was still WRONG! It concerns me that she doesn't take the priviledge, and extreme danger, of driving a vehicle seriously! And, she "stole" someones car!

So far she has lost her phone when she's home and is grounded for some time. She also won't be getting her liscence on her 16th like planned. We are thinking of making her wait 6 months...She will also be appologizing to the parents whose van they "borrowed".

I am sure this is just the beginning of things we will have to deal with in the teenage years that will cause angst for our family and want to be able to maintain an open relationship with her. I don't want to completely blow this out of proportion, but want the consequences for her actions to be realistic for the incident. Any suggestions?

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#2 of 4 Old 04-30-2012, 05:19 PM
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Oh dear.  I really think you're on the right track as far as consequences. At her age, making her wait for an extra six months to get a license would be torture.  When I was younger, I got caught doing exactly the same thing, but I was already licensed, and my parents banned me from driving for six months. It sucked, and I'll never forget how much of an impact it had on the entire way I thought of them. They were pretty lax with enforcing any consequences, and this driving ban actually made me realize that they could be hard asses.


Hugs. This must be hard. I do fear that I would SNAP if my DD did this...mind, she's only 12 at the moment. ;)

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#3 of 4 Old 04-30-2012, 08:16 PM
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I think you are on the right track.


Driving is always a privilege and never a right. Certainly no one has the right to help themselves to someone else's car just because they feel like driving somewhere!


Driving is an adult activity and privilege and in my opinion, if teens want to participate in that activity, they need to behave and accept consequences like adults. The risks are too great - I speak as someone who lost more than one classmate in high school to car 'accidents' and as someone who was nearly killed in an crash caused by an irresponsible driver.

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#4 of 4 Old 05-01-2012, 06:12 AM
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I'd pull her permit. She can get thaty back at 16, and then still have to wait to get her license.

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