Makeup- what is your position on your preteen or teen wearing it? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 05-20-2012, 08:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What are your rules about makeup? Does your preteen or teen wear makeup?

For those who do allow makeup, any product recommendations?

 

 

My dd (12) is interested in starting to wear eyeshadow. She wants blue eyeshadow. I told her she could buy some with her own money and experiment if she felt like it. I don't expect she will be going out in public with a whole bunch of makeup on.


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#2 of 24 Old 05-20-2012, 08:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat View Post

What are your rules about makeup? Does your preteen or teen wear makeup?

For those who do allow makeup, any product recommendations?

 

 

My dd (12) is interested in starting to wear eyeshadow. She wants blue eyeshadow. I told her she could buy some with her own money and experiment if she felt like it. I don't expect she will be going out in public with a whole bunch of makeup on.

 

 

My DD are 14 and 15 and have been wearing makeup for a couple of years. I feel this is NOT the hill to die on. It doesn't matter -- it washes off.

 

My plan before they were old enough was the I would take some place like Merle Norma  and have them taught how to care for their skin, apply simply, natural looking make up, etc. It was what I would have wanted for myself as a teen.

 

But my kids aren't me. They like to go to Walgreens and browse the selections. They like big set with TONS of colors to play with. (Ulta often has set inexpensively).  They like to play.

 

So, I guess I could say that I don't have rules about this. One of my DD's did go for about a year wear  she wore a TON of black eye liner and and my DH and I kinda hated it. We didn't allow her to wear it to certain events (such as family events at his work) but she wore it to school every day. It was a phase. It passed.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#3 of 24 Old 05-20-2012, 09:12 PM
 
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My dd is 9 and is really interested in makeup...she like to label herself as a "tomboy" but she LOVES her tokidoki makeup she got for her birthday (it's pricey, but it was a joint gift kinda thing).  I don't think it is really her wanting to make herself look "better" but a way of her being artistic.  She is really into art and tattoos, and draws cool anime characters on herself all the time, so make-up art was just another form of creativity for her.

 

I was wary at first but like PP said above this was not a hill to die on for us.  I make sure she washes her face and takes care of her skin.  She wears her makeup proudly and it makes her happy to try different things, so I'm fine with it.
 

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#4 of 24 Old 05-20-2012, 10:09 PM
 
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We are just entering this world. Like others, this is not my hill to die on. My mother was not a make up wearer, nothing was ever said about makeup, but it wasn't exactly encouraged either. I would take it on the bus and put it on starting at age 13 I think. I would like my DDs to be more open with me. We have just come off a string of many dance performances where my 9 year old had to be in full stage makeup, fake eyelashes, everything. She is now wanting to wear makeup outside of dance at times. At home, I do not care what she does. We have several large kits of makeup, the ones from places like Claire's and they just play around with them. The neighbor girls end up over here and fix each other up. Because of her age, I am fine with her running to the store with me with makeup with, but not to school. That will change soon enough I suppose. She will ask to put on some of my lipstick after school when are doing things around town once in a while and that is ok.

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#5 of 24 Old 05-20-2012, 10:22 PM
 
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I really don't care one way or the other and it isn't an issue yet. I was going to let my dd wear it at ten or eleven if she wanted to but it really doesn't look like that will be the case. She was horrified by.a reality show about little kids and makeup that we saw on vacation last year and she is now very against wearing makeup at any age.
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#6 of 24 Old 05-21-2012, 08:26 AM
 
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My DD 15 started wearing stage make-up for productions at age 8. At that point, she was taught how to put it on correctly and naturally. Well, it was heavier than normal so she wouldn't wash out under harsh lighting but it was still to be applied so she actually looked her age. It pretty much cured her of any interest in wearing make-up in real life. At 12, I asked her if she was interested in wearing make-up at school and she said "no." Even now, she does some power and mascara if going to a dance and nothing on a daily basis.

 

However, I will say that being formally taught how to do make-up appropriate for your look is really a great way to go with girl's starting to wear make-up... it can be the difference between girls who wear a ton of dramatic make-up and girls who know how to gently highlight their particular features.


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#7 of 24 Old 05-21-2012, 10:02 AM
 
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Again, not the hill to die on here, either :)

 

My dd started wearing make up this year.  I would have loved organic, etc.  However, she strongly prefers the big sets, and there is a line at Target that is literally $1 for many of their items (Ulta, perhaps?).  She LOVES this because she can afford so many options.  For school we encourage more neutral shades. and she does wear eyeliner, some cream blush and lip gloss.  It actually looks very pretty, not overdone, and I think she's got great judgement most of the time about her choices.  We've had a few "Cleopatra" moments when the eye shadow was pretty intense, but not many.

 

I would say that in addition to being taught to apply make up correctly, which is a wonderful idea, emphasizing good skin care is a must.  I can deal with the crappy make up, but we do quality skin care products, make up removal, etc.  Great skin is the best make up.

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#8 of 24 Old 05-21-2012, 11:54 AM
 
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Both dds (6 & 9 yo) have been excited about makeup since they were young.  I don't really wear makeup except for special occasions, so I think they think of it as party stuff.  They can do what they want in the house, as long as they don't make a mess, and if they want to wear a little lip gloss and eyeshadow out to a party or something I'm good with that.  I would not be comfortable with them wearing makeup to school, and I doubt that will change much any time soon but if they want to wear some when they are in high school I won't argue about it.

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#9 of 24 Old 05-21-2012, 12:36 PM
 
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DP and I always swore up and down we would never let our girls shave or wear makeup or high heels in our house. Of course, they are 11 and 14, so 1 & 2 are out the window. High heels are still a "never until you're 18" though. We made them each write an essay about the objectification/sexualization of women in America in order to shave. Yeah, that may be a little far, but we believe the only consent is informed consent, so if they wanted to be hairless, they needed to understand why, when in other countries they don't, women do it in the U.S. We want our girls to be empowered and not do things for the wrong reasons/because everyone else is doing it/etc. The makeup thing was to be expected, of course. If you're trying to look nice for something, sure, a little eyeliner or lip gloss isn't going to make them look like grown women. The only beef I really have with it is that DD14 wears an excessive amount of coverup for her pimples, but she does absolutely nothing to try and make her skin better. I tell her, drink more water, wash your face twice a day but not with that horrible, abrasive acid crap, eat less sugar, but of course she doesn't hear any of that. I wish she would actually take care of her skin instead of hiding it, but I can't make her do it. She only wears eyeliner, mascara, and coverup, so it's not like she ends up looking overly made up. DD11 is only allowed to wear makeup for special occasions, but she will sneak DD14's "special occasion" lip stain from time to time which looks absolutely garish on a young child. I suspect when she starts middle school next year, she will be putting on makeup every day *sigh* but again, not a hill to die on. I suspect her classmates will call her out on her overuse of makeup if she goes that route. Sometimes peer pressure is a good thing, lol.

 

We like Urban Decay because it's not tested on animals and it's great quality. Very expensive, but it makes a good Christmas gift (an eyeshadow palette runs around $40 but it should last a year if they're not using it every day). The pigments are really good and the colors are vibrant, which of course teenagers love. So far as grocery store makeup goes, Neutrogena is the best for coverup. I like Revlon eyeshadow okay, but the "real deal" always looks better. My mother is an avid Sephora shopper and bought DD14 an amazing 60 color pallette of eyeshadow, blush, and lipgloss with her "points" when she was 12 and she still uses it. If you can come by the Sephora sampler, it's a great deal, but I think you can only buy it with points.
 


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#10 of 24 Old 05-21-2012, 12:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Great to see some replies!

 

I personally don't wear eye makeup very often and when I do it is very subdued- not the look dd wants! I don't care if she wears something more flashy but I'd hate for her to really cake on makeup all the time. I was thinking of getting dd a book about skin care and applying makeup to get different looks.
 


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#11 of 24 Old 05-21-2012, 01:20 PM
 
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Such sensible solutions in this thread - I'm really enjoying it.  I agree, not a hill to die on, but learn how to apply it properly and with some subtlety.  I am fascinated by all the different ways that our girls today know that they are becoming women - and make-up is often one of them.  My particular passion is in women creating rites of passage for girls as they come of age, as in every culture and everywhere in the world children need their growing into adulthood to be acknowledged.  When we don't do this - and in many cultures it is often a gateway that we've lost -  then our teenagers will seek to create their own sense of being grown up.  This is when make-up and clothes can be used inappropriately, rather than being a wonderful way of playing with appearance and moving towards womanhood.

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#12 of 24 Old 05-22-2012, 12:29 AM
 
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Ugh I HATE MAKEUP!

I'm so glad my sister isnt allowed to wear any to school. I think all it does is waste time. She has become attached to her makeup, so much so that she  is insecure about herself and its like a security blanket. She worries about how she looks, straightens her wavy hair, wears makeup and a nice outfit. Its not like the makeup is garish but its just unnecessary and it makes me feel kind of sad for her. She doesnt need to overly obsess or be concerned or worry about her appearance and yet she does.

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#13 of 24 Old 05-22-2012, 07:03 PM
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I don't wear make up.  

 

At one point, I saw my choice to not wear cosmetics as part of being an empowered feminist and refusing to remake myself as something other than what I naturally am.  Now, I see my choice as a reflection of the privilege that comes with having fairly good skin.  As I work my way through this hormonally wacky period known as my 30s, I still don't wear make up, but I have acquired an impressive collection of moisturizers, cleansers, and other concoctions whose use is increasingly necessary to keep my skin in "I don't wear make up" condition.  I am investing at least as much time and money in my routine as I would if I used make-up.  

 

On reflection, I've been doing what it takes to make myself happy with my appearance all along.  

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#14 of 24 Old 05-22-2012, 07:09 PM
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Ugh I HATE MAKEUP!

I'm so glad my sister isnt allowed to wear any to school. I think all it does is waste time. She has become attached to her makeup, so much so that she  is insecure about herself and its like a security blanket. She worries about how she looks, straightens her wavy hair, wears makeup and a nice outfit. Its not like the makeup is garish but its just unnecessary and it makes me feel kind of sad for her. She doesnt need to overly obsess or be concerned or worry about her appearance and yet she does.

 

I think a security blanket is OK.  If doing those things makes your sister feel confident, she should do them.  

 

It's easy to criticize concern with appearance because culturally, we see appearances as shallow.  But you know what?  I know some women who give themselves confidence by stepping into the ladies' room and putting on lipstick, and then go back out in the world and use that confidence to get stuff done, and that's pretty impressive.  They don't need it either, but it works.  

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#15 of 24 Old 05-22-2012, 10:17 PM
 
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My DD is now 16.

 

I don't wear make-up myself, except for some cover-up on an occasional zit. I once had some lipstick, but it dried up for lack of use.

 

When she was a little girl, I only allowed her to wear stage make-up for theatrical productions, or face-paint for Halloween. When she was around 10, little girls began to play w/ it at birthday parties and she came home w/ nail polish a couple of times in her "goodie bag". I said "When you're over 16, you can wear nail polish." and put it aside.  There were a couple of times when my s-i-l's offered her manicures and I said "clear polish or buffing only." We did give her a manicure set when she was 12 or 13, so she could file, deal w/ cuticles, and buff if she wanted.  Now that she is 16, I have taken her for 2 professional manicures and she had colored nail polish applied. But, she also understands why I was insistent on clear when she was younger (because she saw how quickly it chips, etc.).

 

When she got to be about 14, she began to sometimes wear eye liner and mascara on the weekends. I mainly reminded her to clean it off well before bed. I guess she bought it out of her pocket money.

 

She wanted a streak in her hair when she was almost 15, and I took her to a hair salon for it, because I feared scary results if she tried it on her own. The next year saw her messing around w/ trying to achieve purple on dark brown (almost black) hair until she decided her hair looked better the way it comes out of her head.

 

Her school only allows "discreet" make-up for girls in her year  or higher.

 

She went to her first "prom" last month and wore mascara, eye-liner, lip stick, and some powder (so her face wouldn't be shiny).

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat View Post

What are your rules about makeup? Does your preteen or teen wear makeup?

For those who do allow makeup, any product recommendations?

 

 

My dd (12) is interested in starting to wear eyeshadow. She wants blue eyeshadow. I told her she could buy some with her own money and experiment if she felt like it. I don't expect she will be going out in public with a whole bunch of makeup on.

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#16 of 24 Old 05-23-2012, 04:58 AM
 
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I've never been a big make-up wearer - don't even own any at this point. My 18yo daughter doesn't care for it, either, and never really has. And really? She has no need for it. HOWEVER... My son (20) has had his make-up  days. He did eyeliner in HS for a while, and some of his friends (in HS and in college) have colored him up. And I have to admit - he wears it well.

 

Both options are fine with me - personal decision, IMO.

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#17 of 24 Old 05-23-2012, 08:43 AM
 
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I don't wear much make-up anymore, although I used eye shadow, eye liner and lipstick routinely when I was younger. (Not so much mascara - never did like putting it on or wearing it) In my 40's, I wear very little - sometimes a little eye-liner and some lipstick. All this to say that there's always been some make-up in the house for the kids to mess around with and they've seen me wear it, but not obsess about using it.

 

I've never liked the look of a tween wearing lots of make-up so it's not something I really encouraged for daily use. During those years, DD had professional manicures and pedicures and played a lot with nail colours to indulge the make-up impulse. Buying skin care products - cleansers and lotions etc. - also helped satisfy the hankering for cosmetic products.

 

When DD started seriously wanting  facial make-up when she was about 13 or 14, I set up a couple of appointments for her. Sephora was really good, MAC was another good place. They explained the various products and helped her apply it without looking like a clown mask. I found that they were careful keep "the look" toned down and natural. She could try a bunch of colours and textures (matte, glossy etc.) without committing and take home a few products that work really well for her.   

 

Last Saturday, we spent the afternoon at our favourite nail salon (scrupulously clean, flat screen playing chick flicks with subtitles, massaging chairs) getting manicures and pedicures to mark the start of summer. It was a lot of fun and something we do together at least a couple of times every summer. 

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#18 of 24 Old 05-26-2012, 05:05 PM
 
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My teens started wearing makeup at 12.5-13 now at  almost 15 and 17 they wear makeup daily.
 


Sharon wife to my hero James and  momma to Kaitlyn 17, Tayler 15 and Anna 7.fur momma to Kami  pit/boxer mix.

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#19 of 24 Old 06-08-2012, 03:41 PM
 
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I don't do make-up AT ALL- well, I use chapstick, mascara, sometimes concealer. But that's it. Otherwise, I really don't care about the way I look. If I have a bad hair day, people are just gonna have to accept it, because I never have the time, nor the patience to do all that every day. I do straighten my otherwise wavy hair every once in a while, but only for the most important of occasions. Because, really, I look bad with my hair having burned ends. Same thing with my DDs. They're not really interested in makeup- they're minimalists, like me. But they are allowed to wear nail polish, just not extreme colors. One of them is rather talented at nail art, too, so I don't mind that so much since she does a really good job it's scary. Another wants her hair dyed, but only a streak- which is a better option than dying the whole thing, since it's more natural and pretty, and they need a professional to do it first. We'll see. I guess I'm really laid back with my makeup, so they don't really go overboard because of it. And, like the others here, I started wearing makeup as an actor and dancer when I was younger. I allow my kids to shave, but only if they want to, and they need someone to show them how. I forbid high heels as well. I don't allow beautification unless it's for dance or acting or a special school function, but  that's it. That's my beliefs!


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#20 of 24 Old 06-08-2012, 04:45 PM
 
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I highly recommend a brand called Alima Pure.  It's 100% mineral makeup.  There are some pretty intense bright colors, but I mainly stick with the more subdued mattes.  It used to be that you could order eye shadow and blush samples for a dollar each.  They came in a little tiny plastic pot.  Now they don't do samples anymore, except of foundation powders.  :(

 

I also am dying to try the All-You-Need kit from Purity Cosmetics, but it's too dear for me right now.


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#21 of 24 Old 06-09-2012, 01:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have really enjoyed all these thoughtful responses. smile.gif

 

I do have a skin condition and feel better in public when I wear some makeup. I go for the more natural look and  just feel like I don't get stared at as much. No one else may really give me a second look when I am not wearing any make-up but I do feel more confident and less self-conscious with the make-up on. I don't wear it when I'm at home and I wouldn't die if people saw me without any make-up. It is kind of a security blanket though I guess. Is it okay to have any security blankets or only unnecessary when they are about appearance?

I think of the people who never go anywhere without their purse/bag or cell phone as similar to those who take great care with their appearance. Maybe they like the way it looks, want to fit in or feel the need to be prepared/connected even though they aren't leaving civilization behind. They nearly always have it with them though and feel more together or secure with one even though those items are not exactly necessary. On the other side there are people who confidently go out all the time without carrying anything. Interesting to think about how some people might increase their confidence or feeling of security in an external way with the way they dress or something they carry where another person gets theirs from the inside somehow. If it is a positive boost for someone then I don't think it matters so much if it is unnecessary or external. If it becomes a situation where the person can't seem to function at all without that external thing then I feel it becomes more negative in their life.


Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#22 of 24 Old 06-15-2012, 11:49 AM
 
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I have a Preteen i let wear as long she don't put to much on.

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#23 of 24 Old 06-15-2012, 11:56 AM
 
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  She might blend in some eye shadows, some blush, lipstick with some lip gloss, and mascara, eye liner, and put on some eye brow color with a pencil she set to go i say the same for a teen also.  

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#24 of 24 Old 06-15-2012, 12:47 PM
 
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I would probably allow a little bit at 12, but not much, and there's no reason to get all made up to go to school.  

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