Arbitrary bathing suit requirement for class field trip - thoughts?! - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Would you go out and buy a one piece swimsuit for your daughter for one field trip because the teach
Yes 16 57.14%
Yes, if they had a good reason for it 5 17.86%
No 7 25.00%
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#1 of 29 Old 05-22-2012, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, DD11 is in 5th grade and her class is going on a field trip to a local watering hole next week. This morning she informed me that the girls are required to wear one-piece bathing suits, but the boys don't have to wear shirts. There are a few things that really bother me about this:

 

1) totally reeks of sexism here, why is it okay for the boys to show off their entire torso but the girls have to cover it up? I object to this on so many levels.

 

2) DD can't even wear a one piece. She has a long torso, is developing breasts but has a "Hank Hill" butt as I like to call it, so she wears a different size top than bottom. If we were to find a one piece that fit her torso, it would be saggy in the butt/crotch. She is not willing to wear a t-shirt over her swimsuit, I don't blame her, we both hate the feeling of wet fabric clinging to our skin.

 

3) I am not going to go out and buy a swimsuit for one field trip that DD will never wear again. Sorry.

 

4) This pool is notorious for women going topless, and there are a number of older male weirdos who wear thong speedos there. Even if these kids are wearing two piece swimsuits, they will still be the least scantily clad.

 

Also, these are YOUNG KIDS. They aren't teenagers who will be beating off behind a bush somewhere at the girls in their bikinis if you're one of those people who likes to think of the worst possible scenario.

 

Oh, and her school has NO dress code. They let kids wear two pieces for water day and at the school festival where they rent the giant slip n slide.

 

Her teachers are both female. One of them even has pin up girl tattoos. WTF????


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#2 of 29 Old 05-22-2012, 01:37 PM
 
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I'd be taking the matter up with the teachers and possibly the principal.  Since this is against the norm for the school, short notice like this is completely unreasonable.  If there is something else going on here, then that info needed to come home from the school in written form (i.e. a bulletin) so that the kids aren't playing "telephone". 


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#3 of 29 Old 05-22-2012, 01:50 PM
 
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I wonder if they had a string bikini come off some girl who didn't have the curves for it to stay on properly. Legislating what swimsuits are allowed doesn't seem like a proper business for the school, to me, particularly when it can be hard to find appropriate  swimsuits in stores. I too would talk to the teacher.

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#4 of 29 Old 05-22-2012, 11:00 PM
 
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have you called the teacher (or emailed) and asked what the deal is?

 

it sounds very inconsistent with the other school policies. If it weren't for fit issues, I'd recommend just buying a cheap suit at Target (or whatever) and not making a big deal of it. But since your DD is very difficult to fit, that won't work.
 


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#5 of 29 Old 05-23-2012, 05:06 AM
 
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I'm sure there are reasons besides "beating off" that they've done this.  Contact the teacher and find out.  I am not a "believer" in women being topless in public.  Maybe they've had problems in the past.  


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#6 of 29 Old 05-23-2012, 05:41 AM
 
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Given that 11/12 yo's are having sex... I wouldn't be so sure about boys not beating off. Just something to bear in mind.

 

That said? I'd likely get boy shorts and a top and call it good. Serves the same purpose as the one piece, but the pieces are wearable otherwise.

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#7 of 29 Old 05-23-2012, 05:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by jdsf View Post


 

4) This pool is notorious for women going topless, and there are a number of older male weirdos who wear thong speedos there. Even if these kids are wearing two piece swimsuits, they will still be the least scantily clad.

 

 

So if you were taking the one-piece rule literally, it would mean no-tops-allowed.  The school really needs to rethink this rule for soooooo many reasons. 

 

Would your daughter wear a sun-guard/rash-guard?  She'd get all the coverage of a t-shirt, but the fabric is a whole lot less annoying when it's wet.

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#8 of 29 Old 05-23-2012, 06:23 AM
 
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A tankini would solve the fit issue for your daughter.
I know plenty of parents that don't allow bikinis so I don't find it unusual for a school to have similar rules. A weeks notice isn't that bad.
Never seen a place that requires males to wear a top, so no matter how unequal, don't expect otherwise.
Personally, if there are lots of weirdo adult males around I would reconsider sending your daughter at all. Even in a "duggar" swim suit i wouldn't want my kids in that type of adult environment.

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#9 of 29 Old 05-23-2012, 07:00 AM
 
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So if you were taking the one-piece rule literally, it would mean no-tops-allowed.  The school really needs to rethink this rule for soooooo many reasons. 

 

Would your daughter wear a sun-guard/rash-guard?  She'd get all the coverage of a t-shirt, but the fabric is a whole lot less annoying when it's wet.

Even though I told her to just wear the one-piece, this would be kind of hilarious! 


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#10 of 29 Old 05-23-2012, 07:37 AM
 
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Personally, I'd just get her a rash guard and call it a day. Bikini's would be against our school dress code (no bare mid-rift.) I know on 8th grade "ditch day" the girls AND the boys were required to wear rash guards or T-shirts if they didn't have a one piece or wet-suit. Part of this was modesty but honestly, I think the larger part was sun protection. That was pretty much the only swim oriented field-trip they ever had. 


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#11 of 29 Old 05-23-2012, 08:04 AM
 
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Personally, I don't object to 2-pc swimsuits but I think a school is entitled to set a dress code for students. It's preferable to reach some sort of consensus with parents. It's usually done by consulting the parent advisory council/home and school association. Since this is last minute and seems somewhat arbitrary (there's no other dress code in operation), I'd contact the teachers to discuss it. 

 

I agree that a tankini is an obvious solution to fit your dd and there are a few shops at our local mall that sell tops and bottoms separately, so hopefully there are similar shops near you. A rashguard is a good idea too - they're handy to have anyway for UV protection and for a little extra when it's cooler. My kids and I have several and every summer they get a lot of use. I'm always glad we've got them.  

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#12 of 29 Old 05-23-2012, 02:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the responses.

 

The swimsuit she bought was separates and there is a tankini top that match the bottoms, so we may go that route even though she still isn't too into the idea.

 

The other option is I can just take her out of school early and bring her separately, which seems like kind of a d-bag move, but I don't want to spend $15 on another piece of clothing when she's growing really quickly and will likely need another swimsuit in a few months (and we swim year round at the gym, so it's getting expensive).

 

So far as not taking the kids to that pool, we go there all the time. We didn't raise them to think being naked is weird or gross. I just question the intent of some men showing off all their junk. Boobs I have no issue with.
 


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#13 of 29 Old 05-23-2012, 09:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jdsf View Post

 

I just question the intent of some men showing off all their junk.

 

 

kind of a double standard, isn't it? Guys who are serious about how quickly they are going to get across the pool wear fitted swim suits, AKA - speedos. To say that a tankini is unreasonable and a tee shirt is just wet fabric and feels icky but that ALL males should wear huge baggy swim shorts so no one will be able to tell if they have a penis just seems a little silly.


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#14 of 29 Old 05-24-2012, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, I wasn't saying they shouldn't wear speedos. I said "thong speedos". No reason you need your ass hanging out to swim faster.
 


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#15 of 29 Old 05-24-2012, 01:04 PM
 
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at 11/12 there are A LOT of girls that are fully developed, my guess is that the teachers dont want a situation where girls are walking out in string bikinis. Could you just buy her a rash guard top and call it a day?


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#16 of 29 Old 05-24-2012, 01:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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They are actually 10/11 and my DD is the most developed of them all, but still barely. A lot of kids who go to this school are low income and I'm guessing other parents wouldn't be able to go out and buy a new swimsuit, either. It seems very classist to expect parents to buy something for this event when it's unnecessary AND they can wear their two pieces at school the next day for water day.


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#17 of 29 Old 05-24-2012, 01:45 PM
 
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We were actually at a water park today at the same time that a school field trip happened to be there.  The kids looked to be about 5th grade to me.  I didn't really think about it until I read this thread, but none of the kids (not even the boys) had an exposed tummy/midriff.  The boys all seemed to be wearing a t-shirt or rash-guard (mostly t-shirts) and the girls seemed to be split between wearing t-shirts or rash guards on top.   I don't even think any of the girls had a regular one-piece on.  So, I'm guessing this school had an even stricter dress code (which extended to the boys).   I would guess it was for sun protection as much as modesty..as the shoulders/back tend to be most vulnerable to sunburn it seems.
 

 

Anyway, I agree about getting a rash guard.  My kids all have them and generally wear them anytime they will be at the beach/pool during mid-day or prime sun hours.  We don't do sunscreen, but I do use rashguard shirts to protect the shoulders/back.

 

Also, I realize that not everyone owns a rash guard or can afford to buy them, but where I live, I would say they are very, very common as a wardrobe staple for children.  I probably see over 50% of all kids at the beach/pool wearing a rashguard top.


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#18 of 29 Old 05-24-2012, 04:48 PM
 
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They are actually 10/11 and my DD is the most developed of them all, but still barely. A lot of kids who go to this school are low income and I'm guessing other parents wouldn't be able to go out and buy a new swimsuit, either. It seems very classist to expect parents to buy something for this event when it's unnecessary AND they can wear their two pieces at school the next day for water day.

Oh well that is crazy.


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#19 of 29 Old 05-25-2012, 10:00 AM
 
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Thanks for the responses.

 

The swimsuit she bought was separates and there is a tankini top that match the bottoms, so we may go that route even though she still isn't too into the idea.

 

 

 

Then I would send a quick email to the teacher saying that my DD was going to be wearing a tankini and that you assume that will be fine.  A lot of people aren't used to tankinis being an option.  My LDS friends who would NEVER let their child wear a bikini not only buys her daughters tankinis but wears them herself.  They're just so much more practical (easy to go to the bathroom in).


 

 

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#20 of 29 Old 05-26-2012, 05:04 PM
 
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I allow my daughters to wear 2 piece suits and bikinis. with that I teach at a Christian based child care center and the girls have to wear one piece swim suits when going on field trips to the pool or water park,I don't really like the rule but since my soon to be 7 yr old will be attending during the summer I bought her a cute one piece suit online at old navy for $14 today. Personally I do think the boys should be wearing rash guards but not t-shirts which can pose a drowning hazard in the water.


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#21 of 29 Old 05-26-2012, 05:27 PM
 
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Bare midriffs are commonly not allowed. I would assume that bare midriff is the issue, not specifically how many pieces, and I'd go with the tankini.
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#22 of 29 Old 05-27-2012, 08:34 AM
 
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I've read through the responses and haven't seen my question asked.  Have you contacted the teacher to get a clarification on the bathing suit?  Your child could just be mistakenly interpreting what the teacher said.  The first thing I would have done was to contact the teacher and simply asked.  Especially, since it seems, no written instructions were sent home with the permission slip.
 


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#23 of 29 Old 05-27-2012, 05:03 PM
 
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I answered yes, but the only reason I'd need to buy a one piece specifically for the field trip would be if DD had outgrown her swim suit. I wish they had a rule like that at my kids school, they have a year-end picnic at the water park every year and last year in grade one, DD was the only one in a 1 piece.


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#24 of 29 Old 05-27-2012, 05:52 PM
 
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I answered yes, but the only reason I'd need to buy a one piece specifically for the field trip would be if DD had outgrown her swim suit. I wish they had a rule like that at my kids school, they have a year-end picnic at the water park every year and last year in grade one, DD was the only one in a 1 piece.

Well, honestlly, the younger they are, the less they can control their bladder for long enough to get a one-piece off, and the more likely I am to get them a two-piece. Not necessarily a modesty issue.
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#25 of 29 Old 05-27-2012, 07:05 PM
 
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I just taught her to pull the suit to one side, no biggie.


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#26 of 29 Old 05-27-2012, 08:13 PM
 
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Well, honestlly, the younger they are, the less they can control their bladder for long enough to get a one-piece off, and the more likely I am to get them a two-piece. Not necessarily a modesty issue.

 

For us, DD was simply too thin at that age to wear a one piece comfortably.  If it was long enough, it was way baggy and if it was snug through the body she could never get it over her shoulders.  They didn't have as many tankinis when she was young, so I *love* all the options there are now.


 

 

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#27 of 29 Old 06-09-2012, 04:48 AM
 
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Oh, I wasn't saying they shouldn't wear speedos. I said "thong speedos". No reason you need your ass hanging out to swim faster.

 

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#28 of 29 Old 06-09-2012, 02:43 PM
 
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Personally I do think the boys should be wearing rash guards but not t-shirts which can pose a drowning hazard in the water.

I agree.  I think the Tshirt idea is unsafe.  

 

I would personally just buy my child a bathing suit.  It'd be a tankini if she liked it, otherwise, if she hated it, we'd stay home that day.  I don't feel the need to be the squeaky wheel about rules at school.  My house, my rules, their house, their rules.  

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#29 of 29 Old 06-11-2012, 12:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, so after all is said and done, she ended up wearing some dance shorts that are essentially swimsuit bottoms and her bikini top with a tank top over it. The tankini top was too big and the next size down too short. She is way too lanky to wear a one piece, if it fits her in length, it's too baggy. She has friends in the same situation, so they all just wear shirts, I guess they don't like to wear rashguards because they aren't tight enough or cute enough to fit their liking. But crisis averted, I suppose. I just don't like the feeling of making girls cover themselves up like there's something wrong with their bodies, they need to be hidden, etc. Sometimes, a growing kid is at an awkward stage and needs to wear whatever works.


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