Hi Llopez. Welcome to MDC. I'm so sorry that you are having such a rough time with your daughter. I'm going to move this thread over the our preteen and teen forum, so you can get some answers from some of the moms over there.
Not knowing your step daughter, its hard to offer real advice, but have you tried getting her into counseling? Have you tried talking to a counselor to get ideas on how to handle her and get her reconnected?
Have you looked into alternative schools? My thoughts are that if a kid isn't motivated in school, despite having a supportive family, that he or she might have a learning disability that makes accessing school particularly difficult.
Sorry you're having to go through this. It sounds very frustrating and heartwrenching. I hope you can find her some help before she's on her own.
I agree with this. In our city, there are 3 schools that work with kids like your DD and try to help them graduate. One is a private school, but the other 2 are charters with rolling enrollment. I wonder if finding a school that is accustomed to working with kids and trying to keep them from falling through the cracks might help.
My other thought is to provide her with more scaffolding to help her get things done. For example, the driving book is really, really boring and very hard to learn from. We ended up enrolling our daughter in a one day class through a private driving school (it cost like $50). She got through all the material that way and they administer the written portion of the test there, so it made it VERY easy for her to get her permit.
It seems that several of your issues with her revolve around substance abuse issues. I'm not sure how best to address those. I'm wondering if ala-non would be helpful. It seems that there should be a way to be supportive of your sd without enabling her.
but everything has pros and cons