9.5 year old daughter is masturbating where other people are present - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 4 Old 02-17-2013, 03:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 9.5 yr old daughter has recently discovered the joys of pleasuring herself. She and I have had several discussions about it this past month or so, but despite the conversations she doesn't seem to understand that it is not something that is appropriate for her to do in a room where other people are present. This creates a very uncomfortable/awkward situation for my fiance and I, who have at times walked right up on her unknowingly while she was on the couch masturbating in the open living space where we spend the majority of our time. I do not wish to make her feel bad about herself or shame her in any way, but I think everyone here would probably agree that it needs to be something that she does in the privacy of her room, not out in the open where other people are. Anyone have any gentle advice to offer here? Thanks a million! smile.gif
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#2 of 4 Old 02-17-2013, 05:32 PM
 
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I was an "early" masturbator and I always felt like my parents put a lot of shame around it.  I think the best way to go about it would be to reiterate that she isn't wrong, that it isn't a bad act, but it's something that needs to be saved for the privacy of one's room, just like showering or using the restroom (obviously these are different things but at her age, I would keep it simple).  

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#3 of 4 Old 02-17-2013, 05:38 PM
 
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Maybe some "I phrasing" might be in order. Just what you said here. "I want you to feel comfortable exploring your own body, but I need you to do so in the privacy of your own room, because it makes me uncomfortable when you do it front of me (or in the common space)"

Something like that. It's both honest and true.

Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...

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#4 of 4 Old 02-20-2013, 01:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for your replies. I think we may finally be getting somewhere with this... smile.gif
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