Contraception for teenage daughter - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 03-17-2013, 01:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 18 year-old daughter has been in a long-term relationship for several years and has recently become sexually active.  She and her boyfriend are using condoms but she wants something additional as she is trying to be very responsible.  

 

She and I have been researching the options and we are both feeling very uncomfortable with all of the side effects of the various methods.  I feel strongly in support of her taking responsibility for her sexual health but can't seem to find a contraceptive method that feels comfortable to me to recommend to my child.  I've raised her with no vaccinations, no pharmaceuticals, organic and chemical-free eating and living for her entire life... breastfed her for over four years.  So I don't want to start pumping chemicals and hormone-disrupters into her now, but I also do not want her to risk unwanted pregnancy.  

 

 

I would like to hear from other natural-living women what you've found to be the least-toxic method(s) of contraception.  Please share your advice and experience but not debate.  Thank you.


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#2 of 15 Old 03-18-2013, 01:03 PM
 
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I'm sorry I can't offer any non-toxic birth control methods, but just wanted to say KUDOS to you for doing this for your daughter!
 

Maybe if you talk to your OB-GYN she could suggest some kind of low dose birth control pill.


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#3 of 15 Old 03-18-2013, 01:50 PM
 
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The book Taking Charge of your Fertilty is great. Thru charting your temp and paying attention to the signs your body is giving you, you can tell exactly when you can and cannot get pregnant. This is the most natural birth control I know of.
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#4 of 15 Old 03-19-2013, 11:20 AM
 
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I'll second FAM and the book taking charge of your fertility, great info for every woman to understand and use. But in her case using it modified to be abstaining when she is fertile and using condoms when she doesn't seem to be. Not to let the stats of successful avoiding convince her she's safe unprotected at any time, since pregnancy would be a such a big challenge right now in her life. And though it would be difficult to go back, she and her bf could choose to just stop for now, that's of course the safest route and if she's feeling uncomfortable with the risks it may be wise.

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#5 of 15 Old 03-19-2013, 03:13 PM
 
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Well in my late 30s I became unintentionally pregnant using FAM so I would be hesitant to advise my daughters to use it before they are at an age where they would welcome and celebrate pregnancy.

Do you have a midwife who could provide some counseling in person? Our very, very natural minded HBMW was quite comfortable with IUD, both copper and hormonal.

dissertating mom to three

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#6 of 15 Old 03-19-2013, 09:06 PM
 
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No birth control is 100% effective. Only not having sex is 100% effective.
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#7 of 15 Old 03-19-2013, 10:35 PM
 
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I only used the pill in my teens. I don't like putting stuff like that in my body so I stopped once I got together with the man that is my husband. It is so great that she can come to you. Have you discussed proper condom usage? That is the most important thing for her to know, and she also needs STI protection, no matter how much she trusts her partner.
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#8 of 15 Old 03-21-2013, 01:05 AM
 
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Condoms with spermicide.

 

I would also encourage you to give her the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility.


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#9 of 15 Old 03-25-2013, 04:10 AM
 
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Oh...that's a tough one!  I use NFP as an adult but I would have a very, very hard time recommending that to a teen. I'm remembering really sporadic periods and generally not enough time (or interest) to devote to my cycle...not to mention not nearly enough impulse control for NFP. Plus, and unplanned pregnancy as an older adult is a different thing than for most young teens. 

 

She doesn't want to use condoms but you are concerned with chemical BC. What about a diagram?  I know the IUD is highly controversial and many have chemicals but maybe there is something without?  

 

Also, have you re-researched the options for the pill? It's possible that there are some good low-dose options out there. I'll be the lone one out there to say that I think the pill is a good option for young girls in a committed relationship. 

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#10 of 15 Old 03-28-2013, 08:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama View Post

Also, have you re-researched the options for the pill? It's possible that there are some good low-dose options out there. I'll be the lone one out there to say that I think the pill is a good option for young girls in a committed relationship. 

No, you're not alone.  I realize that every bc method has the chance of unintended pg.  I also know that the pill is made with chemical hormones.  However, I would completely recommend the pill if it were my daughter.  I would also have her work with her care provider to find one that works well for her.  When I was a teen, I used the pill -- it took a couple different brands to find one that was effective but didn't turn me into a nasty person.  I like it because it is effective, you don't need to worry about it in the heat of the moment (not saying she should drop condoms), and if it bothers her it is easy to stop taking it.  I don't like the way IUDs work.  Also, it seems that you have to be rather committed to that method.  I don't like the things that are implanted in your skin--that just seems creepy.  I got good at FAM, but wouldn't want my dd to rely on that until she was in a committed relationship (marriage or similar).  A diaphram would be ok I guess, but it seems silly--TWO barrier methods?  

 

Therefore, my vote goes to "the pill".

 

Amy


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#11 of 15 Old 03-28-2013, 07:33 PM
 
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I think that condoms plus spermicide is your best bet for combining easy to use with Natural-ish. I took the pill as a teen but stopped as soon as I read TCOYF as a 20yr old and felt responsible enough to chart.

I would NOT recommend charting to a teen though. It's a lot of thinking and attention, and even as an adult I screwed it up 3 different times thanks to lacking impulse control and one time to loosing track o my temps.

The only reason I stuck with it after the first 2 oops was because I felt mature and stable enough to feel like pregnancy wasn't the disaster it would have been in my teens, and I really wanted to leave my cycles and uterus alone.

Depending on her life and thinking, it may be worth the small medical risks of being the pill to avoid the bigger obstacle of pregnancy or the mental anguish of an abortion.

The main reason I avoided IUDs is that even when they are working well, they do that by irritating the uterus beyod healthy function.

Plus, the chance of scarring/infertility before having even one child was unacceptable to me.

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#12 of 15 Old 03-29-2013, 07:02 AM
 
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I loved my IUD. I can't use hormonal birth control, so I got the copper one. It's been years since I had one, but they didn't used to let teenage girls get them. If they do now, I think it would be a great choice. But I don't know if that option is available.

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#13 of 15 Old 03-30-2013, 06:21 PM
 
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As a word on the "con" side of spermicide, it can be very irritating to the vagina and can cause infections for some people.

 

You know, when I was her age, I did use just condoms very successfully. If you use it properly with a little bit of lube at the tip, it's very unlikely to slip or break. You can also check at the end of sex (after removing it) that it is holding the sperm and didn't break.

 

I had a lot of sex and my condom only broke once in seven years. On that day, I went and got emergency contraception. Although that is hormonal, I kind of felt like taking one dose in seven years was a lot better than taking a small bit of hormone once a day for that whole time. Just a thought.

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#14 of 15 Old 03-30-2013, 07:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MichelleZB View Post

You know, when I was her age, I did use just condoms very successfully. If you use it properly with a little bit of lube at the tip, it's very unlikely to slip or break. You can also check at the end of sex (after removing it) that it is holding the sperm and didn't break.

 

I had a lot of sex and my condom only broke once in seven years. On that day, I went and got emergency contraception. Although that is hormonal, I kind of felt like taking one dose in seven years was a lot better than taking a small bit of hormone once a day for that whole time. Just a thought.

 

I'll second anecdata for this.  I used condoms exclusively from when I was 16-19 with a longterm boyfriend, and then 20-22 with a few other people.  I was SUPER STRICT about condom usage, allowed NO naked parts touching before one went on, made sure the condoms were not expired, made sure they were on right and didn't have any visible holes, and checked them after to make sure there were no leaks, and only had one break on me as well.  Sounds a little un-spontaneous and un-romantic, but it took less than a minute to do and didn't prevent me from having quite a bit of sex during those timeframes.


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#15 of 15 Old 04-06-2013, 02:59 PM
 
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condoms! And I thought a diaphram was fine and I need to get one again. 


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