If your teenager gains (or loses, I guess) a bit of weight, how do you handle the clothes issue?
My 15.5 year old dd has gained about 10 pounds this spring. She's still very firmly in a healthy weight range (bmi 20.4) and I'm not concerned about the fluctuation. I expect that when she gets back into her sports season in a couple of months, she'll go back down... but if she doesn't, that's fine with me. It's important to me not to make her feel self-conscious.
...which leads me to a conundrum. Her shorts and pants don't fit. She often wears the short-shorts that are very popular at her school (not as short as some I've seen, but still not big or baggy at all). With the weight gain around her hips, they've gotten very tight. She can still button them, barely, but they've gotten that wedgie/camel-toe thing going on that is not very flattering (nor does it seem comfortable).
If your teen goes through a weight fluctuation, how do you handle the clothes issue? Do you just bite the bullet and buy all new clothes, or wait to see if things will settle down, or some other option? I'm afraid that to tell her the shorts are unflattering and don't fit anymore -- even gently -- could be perceived by her as critical. She's not very self-conscious or insecure, but I know how sensitive the topic is to a kid this age and I feel like even saying as gently as possible that it seems like she needs new clothes could be translated by her as "You're getting fat."
And if you do buy new clothes for your kids when they go through those stages, how do you deal with the expense? She's not interested in the clothes from the stores I've suggested (and we love to thrift and buy second-hand, but the kind of shorts she likes we have not had luck in finding). It seems she'd rather keep wearing the too-small stuff than wear less-acceptable styles/brands. She says she thinks she could find some she liked at certain expensive stores, but frankly we don't have the money for a whole new shorts and pants wardrobe at those stores -- or even more than 1 or 2 pairs, which wouldn't be enough to make much of a dent in her everyday school clothes.When she went through growth spurts as a child I'd just buy her new clothes, but it's so much harder as a teen. She is much more particular and the clothes cost a lot more.
Is there anything else you'd do? Obviously I'm continuing to encourage healthy eating and exercise habits, as we've always done, but I don't want to conflate that with her size.
Neither of my kids are super into clothes, and both are fine wearing the same pants twice a week.
Does she have any bottoms that fit right now? Or dresses? I think 2-3 bottoms could be enough.
but everything has pros and cons
She has a couple of skirts and dresses, but isn't always in the mood to wear them. I don't think she'd be ok with wearing the same bottoms twice in one school week -- she's not terribly into clothes, but not wearing the same thing too frequently does seem to be something she cares about. I'll probably try to buy her a couple of new pairs of shorts to at least give her more options. It's just a little tricky because generally, my rule has been that if she wants expensive or specific brands, she has to buy them herself ... but in this case, that doesn't really seem like it's working since she'd rather keep wearing the too-small stuff (or doesn't seem quite to realize how they look).
Thanks for the input!
My DD 16 moved up a size when she left a long-term vigorous dance program last Spring. She's held the new size ever since.
We just bought her new clothing... not all at once. In the beginning, just a couple pairs of shorts and a pair of jeans to get through summer. Then we added some new pants for winter. She got new clothing for Christmas and lots of gift cards from friends on her birthday. Plus, she has a job and so she also buys some of her own things. We do really good on sales too.
I know it's tricky when you know the activity level is going to change but it might not just be the drop in activity responsible. Girls can start rounding out a bit at this age... getting more womanly. DD was a stick at 15 with a very boy-ish figure. Now she has some actual curves, slight as they might be.
. It's just a little tricky because generally, my rule has been that if she wants expensive or specific brands, she has to buy them herself ... but in this case, that doesn't really seem like it's working since she'd rather keep wearing the too-small stuff (or doesn't seem quite to realize how they look).
You might give her a budget and help her work through what she can get for that amount of money at different stores/different bands. Let her decide if she wants less expensive clothes, or to wear the same clothes more often.
It's always hard to tell from a description, but I suspect that the way her clothes are currently fitting her isn't something that my DDs would be allowed to leave the house in. How bad does she look?
Right now, she doesn't have any other options for getting dressed, and the money part of the new clothes is something that she knows is a big deal. I can see how this is a difficult thing to discuss.
but everything has pros and cons