was aimed more at the children/ tween aspect. For a teen, I would probably have a different outlook and possibly even use allowance as a means to teach resoonsibility while getting chores done.
I thought this post
I have a list of chores that are their normal part of helping out, then a list of extra jobs that pay and how much. Cleaning up after themselves, wiping the table, dusting, vacuuming, dishwasher unloading, etc is on the free list that expect them to get most of done. Weeding, washing the dishes, weekly trash, things like that are optional and paid.
exemplified what I was trying to say. There are free chores and then there are optional, will earn you extra money chores. Obviously, lists will vary by family and even age of the the family member.
I'm not against rewards for work done, I just don't feel that basic household chores should earn money. However, as my children grow, so may my feelings on the matter.
I would never consider paying my children to do chores. We all live in the house and we all contribute to the mess so we all clean. That seems like very basic life skills to me. My kids do a lot of housework, as do my husband and I. The 7 year old cleans her room every day, vacuums the floors on the main level twice a week, unloads the dishwasher ever day, clears off her dishes after every meal, feeds the dog in the morning and does any other tidying and maintenance as needed around the house. The 10 year old cleans her room every day, vacuums the floors twice a week, unloads the dishwasher with her sister every day, clears off her dishes after every meal and wipes the table, folds and puts away laundry 2-3 times a week, runs at least 2 loads of laundry a week, and also does any other tidying that needs to be done. The 12 year old does similar jobs to the other two, usually about the same amount as the 10 year old. The 10 year old also makes breakfast for herself and her 7 year old sister every morning because they get up way earlier than the rest of us and the older two are starting to have more responsibilities in the kitchen helping prepare dinner. It has never even occurred to me that these jobs should be rewarded with money because I certainly don't get paid for doing them. It's just part of being a family.
I don't necessarily disagree with the principle of what you are saying. But my question is: if you don't tie money to chores, HOW do you get them to do chores when nothing else works?
Do you take away privileges, ground them, etc.?
How do you teach them responsibility if there is no tangible reward for them doing chores? While for some have a clean living space is reward enough, but some people seem content to live in a mountain of filth and need other incentives.
My 7 year old is a neat person, she likes every thing neat and tidy. My 14 year old, sorry to say is rather lazy. She is not paid for picking her room and keeping it clean, and I am always having to tell her to make her bed up and pick her room up.
She does get money for doing the dishes every day, and it seems to be the one incentive I've found that motivates her to do the dishes.
They don't do the chores then they don't get to do any fun activities they want to do. Work gets done first. Personally I believe there is nothing wrong with teaching kids that if they don't do their work that there will be negative consequences. That is how it is in the real world. Is their boss going to engage in a 2 hour discussion on their feelings on the matter if they don't want to do their assigned work? No, so I am not going to coddle them and lead them to believe that their wants and desires are always paramount. It is fairly simple - come home and see that my 10 year old didn't fold the laundry and put it away like she was asked and is instead playing on the computer. I tell her that she has to get off the computer until she goes and does the laundry like she was asked. She gets off the computer and does what she is told then goes back on the computer. Problem solved. That is not punitive, that is parenting. I find it sad that you are actually asking how you can get your children to contribute to the running of the household without paying them.
You find it sad? Well, sorry to say but I don't have all the answers, hence the reason I'm on this forum. Unforunately I wasn't blessed with a child that just wants to help out. My 14 year old never volunteers to help with anything, I always have to tell her to do things.
Taking away computer or TV time does not seem to make an impression on her, either. It seems the only thing that motivates her is money.
but everything has pros and cons
Personally I believe there is nothing wrong with teaching kids that if they don't do their work that there will be negative consequences. That is how it is in the real world. Is their boss going to engage in a 2 hour discussion on their feelings on the matter if they don't want to do their assigned work?
In the real world you also get paid for doing your job. It seems to me that workplace analogies shouldn't really be used if your whole point is that being paid for work in families is bad.
Limabean, I couldn't have said it better!
Our sons don't have assigned chores, but they are expected to help out around the house as asked, or as necessary. When they were old enough to stay home alone during the day while DH and I were at work, we would leave a list - it might include mow the lawn, put away dishes, wash clothes, clean the bathroom, vacuum - household stuff that they had time to do, since they were home all day. Maybe we were just really lucky, but we didn't have to bribe, threaten, or punish our kids to get them to help.
Allowance is a completely separate issue.
I do pay for extra things - in fact, this week I'm paying my son to detail my cars for me (I'm paying half what it would cost to have it done professionally). We paid the boys to help us tear the shingles off the house. But regular household chores - that's the "cost" of living in a house.
If the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
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