Another issue: Makeup! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 15 Old 08-08-2013, 08:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 11-year-old wants to wear makeup. She says her friends will be allowed to wear makeup when they enter middle school in a few weeks.

Is middle school the makeup age? I have never worn makeup - not my thing - and I am completely without knowledge about this kind of thing. I don't think I like the idea of her wearing makeup at 11. I don't even think it would look normal on her. I think she might be destined to be a late bloomer like me, so she still looks very much like a little girl. Maybe just lip gloss though? I might be willing to make a compromise of that nature.

What age have you decided is ok for makeup?
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#2 of 15 Old 08-08-2013, 09:53 AM
 
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We didn't set an age. My DD is in theatre so learned how to apply make-up at 8. However, she has always hated it and limited it to the stage. So, none during middle school. At 16, she wears a little on special occasions and of course, still on stage. Most of her friends wear none or very limited at the high school level.

 

Middle school does seem when most girls start around here. Usually it's a transition though. 6th graders tend to just do lip gloss and mascara. The full make-up you tend not to see until 8th grade when they pile it on. Then by high school, many girls start going natural again or with very limited application.


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#3 of 15 Old 08-08-2013, 01:14 PM
 
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lol dd and i have had makeup talks for a long time.

 

the first time she was allowed makeup was in K - nude lip gloss and eyeshadow. but i allowed it because dd logically argued her side of things and we could come to an agreement. plus dd's personality. i say no and it becomes a huge issue. i allow her within certain guidelines and its no longer an issue. she maybe used make up once in a while for a couple of weeks in k and then was done with it. 

 

so we have been having this conversation for a long time. 

 

we infact just hand this conversation. dd is really into make up. her dad's girlfriend is showing her how. dd looks at youtube videos on how to put on stuff. she has always had a lot of makeup. sometimes at playdates they all put on make up on each other. 

 

i think dd will do it when she sees more of her grade doing it. the middle school she starts next week dont usually use makeup.

 

i really dont want to see dd using make up too early. but that decision is not in my hands. 

 

dd decided either 13 or 14. maybe last year of middle school, or first year of high school. that's what she told me. 

 

btw - MY issue really is hair colour. dd has BLACK hair so she will have to bleach her hair. she has wanted to really colour her hair since this summer. except we didnt have much time for it as we were so busy TG. i dont mind colour. i mind the bleach. 


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#4 of 15 Old 08-09-2013, 10:02 PM
 
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I let my DD wear makeup on weekends and will let her wear it in school when she enters junior high (7th grade here). Her school doesn't allow it currently so she is limited to lip gloss and nail polish at there, otherwise I wouldn't care. I wore makeup to school at her age and stopped after the novelty wore off because it was too much work and there wasn't much point.
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#5 of 15 Old 08-11-2013, 07:06 AM
 
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Wow, that young???  Huh.  I feel so out of the loop.  My daughter is going into 8th grade and she hasn't even thought of makeup yet.  Or maybe she doesn't want to tell me that she wants it.  I don't know.  She does like to paint her nails and I'm fine with that.  But she doesn't do makeup yet and I haven't noticed any of her friends wearing it.  Maybe next year I'll allow it if she shows an interest.  But I'm hoping to limit her to lip gloss and mascara at the most.  That's all I really wear anyway so maybe that's why she doesn't show an interest yet.  Most days I go out without any makeup anyway as I'm still very young and don't really need to cover anything up.


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#6 of 15 Old 08-11-2013, 08:31 AM
 
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justmama i think its a personality issue. not necessarily that she is following you. i hardly wear any makeup and since dd could walk she has been interested in makeup. so i have always bought her makeup. the real deal. good quality. its more kinda stage thing for her. sometimes her friends come over and they put on make up with each other. funnily enough dd has not liked what they have done. 

 

i ocassionally put on lipstick and eyeliner. so one day i encouraged dd to put on slight lipstick that looks natural on her lips and she refused. ugh she has that kind of skin on which nudes look so good. 

 

i can see though she needs to really learn how to put on eyeshadow. its a skill she wants to have. 

 

i wear skirts and dresses mostly and a few pants here and there. she does not even own a dress and one skirt that she rarely wears. 


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#7 of 15 Old 08-11-2013, 11:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justmama View Post

Wow, that young???  Huh.  I feel so out of the loop.  My daughter is going into 8th grade and she hasn't even thought of makeup yet.  Or maybe she doesn't want to tell me that she wants it.  I don't know.  She does like to paint her nails and I'm fine with that.  But she doesn't do makeup yet and I haven't noticed any of her friends wearing it.  Maybe next year I'll allow it if she shows an interest.  But I'm hoping to limit her to lip gloss and mascara at the most.  That's all I really wear anyway so maybe that's why she doesn't show an interest yet.  Most days I go out without any makeup anyway as I'm still very young and don't really need to cover anything up.

 

I wanted to wear make-up but was too afraid to ask my mom. When she finally asked if it was something I was interested in I jumped on it (8th grade.) You DD may not be interested or she may be worried that her interest would disappoint you. 

 

I do think it's a personality thing. I don't wear make-up because I don't like how I look in it. My DD's reasons for not wearing it are different. She's very good at the application and she likes how she looks after but she doesn't like the process of putting it on, the feel of it or the clean-up process. However, I have plenty of mom friends who don't wear make-up and have daughters who are obsessed with it.


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#8 of 15 Old 08-18-2013, 07:46 AM
 
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7th grade is our rule although many start younger. My older dd thought I was being unreasonable and insisted "all the girls were wearing it" in 6th grade. Some girls were. Some were not allowed. She did wear it some on weekends.

8th graders wear horrible make-up. It was a tough time. She's in 10th grade now and we make jokes about it and both dread younger dd getting to the 8th grade bad eyeliner stage.

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#9 of 15 Old 08-18-2013, 07:58 AM
 
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dd just started middle school. i didnt see any of the kids using makeup. not one. i think this might be a peer thing. 

 

i will get dd a make over for her 13th or 14th birthday so that she not only knows how to put on makeup but will also save money knowing her colours and not buying a 100 browns to see which one is her shade only to discover later that is not her colour at all. 


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#10 of 15 Old 08-29-2013, 09:20 AM
 
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I don't wear make up; never did.  So when my girls wanted to start, they were on their own.  I had 3 rules:  1) they bought it; 2) no sharing of make up; 3)it had to be taste full--no black eyes or slutty make up (my definition, not theirs).  And as with anything else, if one of the reasons was along the lines of "everyone else is wearing it/other parents let their kids wear it", the answer was an automatic no.  I will listen to well thought out personal reasons; not knee jerk, going along with the crowd, peer pressure arguments.  Oh, rule 5: it had to be within school guidelines.


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#11 of 15 Old 08-29-2013, 09:51 AM
 
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At 12 I was allowed some blush and foundation, then free reign once high school started. I was a responsible kid, so my mom didn't worry too much about my taste in cosmetics, even during my goth stage! wink1.gif
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#12 of 15 Old 08-29-2013, 10:47 AM
 
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aaaaaaargh. so i thought we were ok on this.

 

till something else and i've been now handed a curveball.

 

ex has a new young gf. she is very nice and dd loves her.

 

and so wants to emulate her. so now at 10 she wants to use face products. holy cow she has been researching neutragena.

 

because she has decided what skin type she has and she wants to save money and buy stuff. cleaners, astringents, clay masks - the whole galore.

 

heck i am not prepared for that. i have never used any of that. i am ok with dd using some - but more natural products.

 

and now we are having a difference of opinion and since i am an older mom she sees me as old fashioned - what do i know.

 

seriously dd has wonderful skin. she doesnt need any of those products. heck i'd rather her use makeup now than any of those facial stuff. 

 

arrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!! makes me question myself. so now i need beauty advice. 


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#13 of 15 Old 08-30-2013, 09:59 AM
 
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Well I have a 12 and 13 yr old (dd and dsd).  13 yr old has just started 9th grade and 12 yr old just started 7th.  

 

if you have "middle school" in your area - 6,7, 8th - is seems to start in 6th.  if it's a 7 and 8th grade "jr. high" it seems to start in 7th.  either way i was surprised when at the beginning of 6th grade my daughter wanted to start wearing eye shadow.  "EVERYone does it.  i'm the only one who doesn't".  

 

my guidelines are 1) a little well applied powder on zits to tone them down is ok, anytime, anywhere, 2) light colored lip gloss is ok at school, 3) eye shadow ok for special occasions, family dinner out, party with friends, etc.  right now i'm still feeling that eye liner is not ok.  maybe in 10th grade for my dsd.  This rule feels especially important because of who she is and what her challenges are.  and mascara seems ok to me - but unless you're buying organically made types, it's really not good for your eyes - and you have to be responsible enough to take it off before bed.  and that kind of mascara is expensive.

 

i also have a rule that they can only use high quality - organic - cosmetics - and they are expensive.  and no sharing.  

 

but the big thing to me comes down to what their use of making means to their self esteem.  do they know they are beautiful just as they are?  do they use make up because it's fun and feels special, or would they start to feel they "need" it in order to be seen by their friends.  the issue of self esteem is the most important one to me.  and as they get into middle school social scene and boys, and the like - i want them to know who they are and love themselves just as they are.  i want that to be SOLID before i start letting them wear too much, too frequent makeup.

 

but i came on today b/c i am struggling with these questions and want to be thoughtful about them and see what other mamas were thinking.  i also just bought each of them this book, which seems really good for applying good, tasteful, natural looking makeup, and has lots of info on self esteem and living a life with good values too:

http://www.amazon.com/Bobbi-Brown-Beauty-Rules-Essentials/dp/0811874680/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377881902&sr=1-4&keywords=bobbi+brown

 

Bobbi Brown Beauty Rules: Fabulous Looks, Beauty Essentials, and Life Lessons for Loving Your Teens and Twenties

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#14 of 15 Old 08-30-2013, 02:19 PM
 
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I guess my question is, what harm do you feel that makeup can cause to your DD? Most girls go through a learning curve, possibly wearing too much for a while (usually to fit in with peers who are doing the same), then they all learn that less is more. I think trying to be controlling about makeup is just asking for trouble - they will wear it behind your back if forbidden.
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#15 of 15 Old 08-31-2013, 02:35 AM
 
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I don't have a problem with my girls wearing makeup around the house or on weekends at 10 or 11.  My 13 yr old is in 8th and started wearing it at school last year.

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