Would you be okay with your teen smoking pot? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 23 Old 09-06-2013, 04:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Aside from the legalities of it, and it is a misdemeanor here, does it bother you?


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#2 of 23 Old 09-06-2013, 05:31 PM
 
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I don't think anyone needs to be taking any unnecessary mind-altering drugs while their brains are still developing.
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#3 of 23 Old 09-06-2013, 06:18 PM
 
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Smoking pot occasionally and smoking pot on a a daily basis are definietly not the same.  I personally think mj should be legalized Alot of us experimented as teens and I don't mind if my kids experimet at home but I draw the line at teens smoking on a regular basis and sneaking it from their parents.

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#4 of 23 Old 09-06-2013, 06:29 PM
 
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God, i snuck it from MY parents - and they snuck it from THEIRS ...my Grandfathers brother was 85 when he died - his grand son had to go on to his land and cut down the MJ plants that were growing as thick as trees (he said) - they had probably been there since the 1970's at least.....

my family is also riddled with anxiety disorders and alcoholism.....of the choices, prescription drug addict, alcoholic, or MJ smoker - i would certainly choose the MJ smoker.  Even with all this ancestral stronghold behind me ...i dont think i would allow my two teens to smoke - i think i would throw a fit and forbid them to smoke in my house blah blah blah - knowing full well they will go to a friends house or down to the beach to smoke it.  

My eldest just left for college and she has Crohns Disease - i know weed could really help her discomfort at times.  I still feel like i need to let them 'discover' it on their own and pretend i dont like it.  

Seriously two faced of me i know.....

I dont know why i feel this way - i guess it feels like if i endorse it - i would SEEM to be disingenuous - like the kids wouldnt take me seriously if i endorsed it.  

Interestingly though, they both know i am huge proponent of using hemp in manufacturing, i use hemp fabric, hemp yarn etc.... i think it should be legal to grow for non-smoking as well as smoking purposes.  

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#5 of 23 Old 09-06-2013, 07:24 PM
 
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My oldest is still 8.5yo, but my feeling is that I don't want them smoking anything.  It may be legal here, but it still isn't healthy.  Not as concerned about the mind-altering aspect of it, though that is not without difficulty, either.  I see that kind of experimentation as life-altering as sex in some ways.  DH started smoking pot when he was 11yo-- much, much too young, but he grew up good enough to marry anyhow.  He still smokes.  Can't say I approve, but then he's an adult now.  I don't smoke myself.


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#6 of 23 Old 09-08-2013, 06:29 AM
 
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I don't think so. I think I would be OK with the idea of her using from time to time when she was an older teen but I don't think I'll feel comfortable with her being 100% open about it. Like MD, I acknowledge the hypocrisy here - not that I smoke (I don't) but that I would be OK with my DC doing it in moderation but not with her being open with me about it to the point that she felt like I condone it.  I'm not sure what the root of this is.  I think it has to do with the idea that illicit drug use requires a certain amount of discretion. Maybe I'm thinking that my teen should practice that discretion out on her parents. Or maybe it just has to do with me not needing to be this intimate person in my teen's life. My instincts tell me that I should be there for balance and for assistance and a base but not intimately involved in some of those growth experiences.  


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#7 of 23 Old 09-08-2013, 07:16 AM
 
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Where we live it has been decriminalized and the penalty is about the same as a speeding ticket.  My 16 year old and I smoke together maybe once a month and that's the only time either of us smoke it.  But when we do we have wonderful conversations. I just think it's like anything else, in moderation it's fine.

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#8 of 23 Old 09-09-2013, 11:20 AM
 
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I'm fairly conflicted about it. Possibly even hypocritical. I've only indulged a few times in my life. I enjoyed it but I've never been inclined to go out of my way to obtain it or spend money on it.  When talking about it in the abstract, I think there are good arguments against criminalizing marijuana when alcohol is legal. It would make sense if there were similar regulations placed on both, overseeing production to ensure quality and safety and restricting sales/consumption by means of age limits and so on. 

 

When dealing with my own family, though, I'd prefer it if my children didn't consume it while their brains are still developing and maturing. I am concerned about the possible links between pot and developing mental illnesses. 

 

I definitely don't want my children smoking ANYTHING - tobacco or marijuana or anything else. 

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#9 of 23 Old 09-09-2013, 11:37 AM
 
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I think alcohol is deadly in so many different ways: brain damage, vulnerability to assault for BOTH sexes, poor decision making, BAP, drunk driving, ad infinitum.

So I would of course prefer my children live sober lives. However, if teen experimentation is required, then Herbal Medicine it shall be, because I would literally do ANYTHING to exempt them from alcohol, alcohol culture & to be honest, mainstream US teen culture.

I am honestly more concerned about the long term health affects of Hormonal Contraceptives than Cannabis, from a pharmacology perspective,

I do have a brother with Mental Illness, it was definitely exacerbated by Prescription Medications, specifically stimulants. IMHO those are another deadly pathway teens choose when you limit/prohibit access to Cannabis. As well as other horrible substances like DM, LSD, all with Pharma roots.

I may go so far as to ensure we live in a legal state.
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#10 of 23 Old 09-09-2013, 12:48 PM
 
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No way! I'm all for my teens engaging in consensual sex but no drugs. Drugs are off the table until you move out and pay your own bills. I also do not allow my teens to drink alcohol.
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#11 of 23 Old 09-09-2013, 12:58 PM
 
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yeah, i am going to have to say no. but i also don't want them drinking or smoking cigs either. i think while your brain is still developing ou should try and keep it clear of stuff that changes the chemistry. but i don't smoke pot or drink or smoke cigarettes either. and if they want to have sex i would HOPE they would use some sort of protection (we have had this talk multiple times to their mortification i am sure. lol) even that i would hope they would wait on, only because there is so much emotional baggage that comes along with sex and being a teen is hard enough.

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#12 of 23 Old 09-09-2013, 01:07 PM
 
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See we all just have different values. Since no 'protection' is even close to 100% & studies show that condom use is sporadic, even moreso when hormonal contraception is introduced into the picture, teens have high rates of social contact & low levels of committment & therefore infidelity. Also it is teen *women* that bear all the contraceptive health consequences (which include depression & other mood changes). I only have sons, but I am raising feminist sons, who won't compromise a young woman's health for their pleasure.

Plus emotional fallout & entanglements, stalking, relationship violence, I rank teen sex as somewhere below alcohol & WAY, way above Cannabis on the danger scale. STIs are lifelong & less & less curable. Not to mention pregnancy and/or termination.

I just personally feel that from a pure science POV there are many more risks there.
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#13 of 23 Old 09-09-2013, 01:16 PM
 
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I am also very conflicted about this.  DH indulges occasionally and I have in the past.  It can be really great for stress and other health conditions.  I would feel more comfortable with my son smoking than drinking and driving.  I would talk to him about this and let him know the risks and benefits and that I do not approve of him using it while living with me.  I would worry more about the smoking on his lungs than the actual drug.

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#14 of 23 Old 09-09-2013, 01:21 PM
 
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it might have to do with your own upbringing. i grew up with parents who drank and smoked a lot of pot. wasn't a fun place to be.

i had sex early and not safely, some how i avoided teen pregnancy and getting an STI. i am also raising a bunch of boys. and i want them to love themselves and the girls (or boys) they choose to be with and one of those ways is to use protection. and we have talked about it, no means no, if s/he is drunk or has been drinking it is NO, if they have been using drugs it is NO. you keep yourself safe and the person you care about safe. i don't think being a teen means you are insane. it is being there and talking to them and connecting. and that goes with everything, drugs, drinking, sex, school, friends, jobs, computer safety,  what have you. 

i have one off in college and one in high school and 4 little ones at home (and one in the "oven") and i spend a heck of a lot of time connecting with them. i think, actually, that teens need us home more than babies (in some respects), but i am home for everyone.


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#15 of 23 Old 09-10-2013, 08:10 AM
 
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yes i too am fairly conflicted about this. 

 

i dont want dd to put anything questionable into her body including soda. esp. mind altering stuff as a teen when the brains are developing.

 

but in reality it really isnt my decision to make. till its legal i can lay down my rule. but teens is a huge span.

 

honestly i feel there are two kinds of drug users. the responsible kind and the addicted kind who really are using it as a coping mechanism.  responsible is a term of judgement. perhaps non addicted is the right word. 

 

i hope i will be responsible/able enough to see and give dd the support she needs - whatever that may be, therapy or sports or time or whatever she needs to not want to indulge in drugs or use drugs as a coping mechanism.

 

reality - i cant stop her. she is a curious child. i am sure she will experiment or at least want to know what it feels like. and i am open to that. i STILL wouldnt want her to do it, but i can understand why she would. 

 

however teens is a large age span. when i think of drugs i am thinking 16. and pot is not just pot. there are various types. 

 

however i believe in its medicinal use.

 

honestly if dd continues with her interests and educational goal i really dont see her have the time for pot or any drugs. 


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#16 of 23 Old 09-10-2013, 08:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
 

 i think, actually, that teens need us home more than babies (in some respects), but i am home for everyone.

yup this is exactly what i am discovering too. 

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#17 of 23 Old 09-10-2013, 11:03 AM
 
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I am of the same mind as many previous responders, in that if she has to experiment, I would worry less about weed than almost anything else. I consider it a much more benign substance than alcohol or any other drug, prescription or otherwise. However, I also agree that it's not good for developing brains, and I would far prefer her to wait to use it, if she chooses to use it, until she's an adult. We've talked quite a bit about the effect of MJ on the teenage brain, IQ and psychological impact. Right now I'm lucky that she's very protective of her body and careful what she puts into it. I know that could change, so I hope to arm her with information (just as I do about sex) so she can make her own decisions.

 

But yes, if she chose to indulge in something, MJ would in my mind be a less dangerous choice. I wouldn't want her putting anything into her lungs, but there are other options out there other than smoking. I don't know how I'd feel about informing her of those options -- it'd be a good idea if I knew she was going to indulge, but I would worry about seeming to encourage. I really commisserate with IdentityCrisisMama's comments about discretion and wanting my dd to find her own way. Some areas are not my place to be intimately involved.

 

My dh uses MJ medically, but very discreetly. Our teen doesn't know (and yes, I know they know more than we give them credit for, but really ... on this she doesn't know). I don't use at all. DD does know, however, that we believe it should be legal and don't believe it is dangerous for most people (teens excepted).

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#18 of 23 Old 09-15-2013, 07:51 PM
 
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We've talked a lot about it in our house. While its tempting for me at times as a person who struggles with anxiety, I have never used and would be very uncomfortable with anyone in my family using, including DH or my teens. We have a lot of drug addiction in my extended family history so I feel pretty strongly about my boys staying far away from it and learning other ways to relax and enjoy their life in ways that are not as harmful or addicting.  


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#19 of 23 Old 09-16-2013, 09:44 AM
 
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Both of my teens are serious athletes and it would be highly detrimental to their performance, so no I would not be okay with them smoking pot. They both understand they need to make wise choices as to what they put into their bodies, and are well aware that marijuana is really not a smart thing to do given their circumstances, DH and I have talked about it with them (DH is not generally against smoking pot at all). DS (13) would definitely lose his spot on a fully-funded soccer academy team if he did: he signed a contract to not to drink alcohol or do drugs. 


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#20 of 23 Old 09-17-2013, 12:47 PM
 
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I would rather have my kid smoking pot than drinking, hands down. My kids are 12 and almost 3, so obviously hell no for now, but once they are 16 or 17 I would rather have them do it in a "safe space" than out where they shouldn't be in dangerous situations (in a park bathroom at night, hiding out in some dark alley somewhere, or, god forbid, someone's older brother's apartment). Obviously it would be a problem if it were a regular thing, but I think it's good for older teens to experiment so they don't just go crazy when they get to college and party all the time.
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#21 of 23 Old 09-19-2013, 06:56 AM
 
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Coming back to this thread to mention a conversation I had with 20 y.o. DS yesterday. DS was straight-edge all through high school but will drink alcohol now. He has a course in Neurodevelopmental Pyschology this year in college. They are studying the complex brain development that happens during adolescence, comparing it to the development in infants. He's convinced that it's a bad idea for teens to use psychoactive substances, considering what is happening to their brains. He brought the subject up on his own, without any prompting from me. I admit I was pretty happy to hear him take that position. It echoes what I  said to him a long time ago, but I think his psychology courses are reaffirming it for him. 

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#22 of 23 Old 09-19-2013, 07:13 AM
 
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Alcohol is definitely psychoactive tho.
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#23 of 23 Old 09-19-2013, 07:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinahx View Post

Alcohol is definitely psychoactive tho.

 

Yes, of course it is. So I'm happy that he was straight-edge (no alcohol, no drugs) through his teen years, and so is he. That's the point - the title of the thread is about teens. Even now that he is an adult, his alcohol consumption is low. I mentioned it in the interests of being upfront. I didn't want to be misleading about whether  any substances were being consumed. 

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