When is it inappropriate for opposite sex siblings to share a room? Are there ways around this e.g. a folding room divider or curtain?
" rel="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/familybed2.gif"> DD1 12/05, DD2 12/08
Computer Engineer- I write better in 1's and 0's. ;-)
My kids shared a room by choice until my DD turned 12 and DS was 8. DS cried when DD decided to take the spare bedroom. I know my husband shared with his sister until she moved out at 19 (he was 11.) He comes from a big family and he was the only boy. It was just necessary. He said there were a couple years he was always locked out by a mopey sister but otherwise, it wasn't a big deal. They all changed in the bathroom.
I don't think it's inappropriate at all. I do think in the teen years, it's nice for both parties to have their space if possible but in situations where it's not, kids adapt.
I don't know how old you are talking but mine had "bed tents" so they had a way to close themselves in if they wanted. For older kids, I know there are some nice dividers. Ikea has nice loft bed set-ups that can give kids some individual space.
Adopted and foster families need separate rooms for boys and girls. Step-siblings should have them too. Past puberty if you CAN give them the option of separate rooms or at least private spaces then do so.
My oldest girl and my oldest boy (6 years apart) share a room. People do get weirded out by it at times. For us it is a matter of necessity. Housing prices are expensive and bedrooms are not plentiful! Personality conflicts and special needs dictate that this particular sibling set must room share rather then the girls and then the boys.
I really don't think there's a right answer here, unless there is some gut feeling that the placement is not appropriate, and that could happen w same gendered sibs as well. Doesn't have to be a sexually charged issue, either.
True. I'm just trying to get ideas. Unless we are able to move out of our current house, all our future hypothetical kids (only have one right now) will have to share a room... since it's a two bedroom but the master is HUGE!
But, the kids use our whole.house. they are almost never in their.room except to sleep, and we have plenty of other private hidey holes throughout the house.
Back when my two girls were sharing a room (they are only 2 years apart), I wondered if it would be easier for one of them to share a room with their brother. The fighting of two hormonal girls is my personal hell. it. never. stopped. Their room was small, one is neat and one is sloppy, and they fought about everything. We never did have one share with the brother because then they would have fought over who got their own room. Two years ago, we had to short sell our house and we were able to rent a house with 4 bedrooms for pretty cheap (it looks like the 1980s still lives there, but it's spacious and a great neighborhood), and life is so much better with everyone having his or her own bedroom.
From reading these posts, it does seem like many of the opposite sex sharing rooms involves siblings with a pretty big age gap.
The idea of every kid having their own room is a bizarre concept for most of the world, and through most of our history. I would say, therefore, that there is absolutely no NEED for a child to have their own room.
My kids are 9 and 11, boy and girl, and they share a room because we live in a tiny, 2 bedroom home. My daughter gets dressed either in the bathroom or my (me and DH's) room. It's really no big deal.
Which isn't to say that I wouldn't like for them to have two rooms - there are times when it would make my life easier, say if each wants to find a quiet place to hang out alone (but one can always choose my room if they want). I put my son to bed first so he is asleep before DD comes to bed, otherwise they tend to gab and keep each other awake. But really, it's not a big deal.
Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)
My kid set up is two girls, and then two boys, exactly in that order. My two girls fight like crazy over every little thing and the two boys have serious aggression issues with each other to the point where we have to keep them physically separate at all times. That is the reason that 1 boy and 1 girl share a room.
We've never had the master bedroom as an adult room, it has always been the kids because it was bigger and we sleep in the smaller bedroom.
|Teens , Pre Teens|