10 year old with intense emotions - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-04-2014, 10:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My almost 11-year-old daughter has been having intense emotions atleast once a month.  She has not begun to bleed yet.  Is there any advice on how to support this? ANy good books for me to read or her to read?  We are approaching a very sensitive time aside from the monthly intense emotions and trying to find ways to rise above it all.  My DD has a tendency to argue at anything I say and it is very draining.  Just looking for some guidance.

Thanks.

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Old 02-04-2014, 11:11 AM
 
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"The Care and Keeping of You" and "The Feelings Book: The Care and Keeping of Your Emotions" by American Girl publishing. These are awesome for girls this age.

 

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Old 02-05-2014, 12:48 PM
 
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I have found myself falling back on my preschool teacher skills with my dd a lot when it comes to preteen hissy fits. Not in the exact same ways but similar principles: empathize, explain, compromise, say yes often, make sure basic needs are filled, avoid arbitrary no responses, disengage when necessary, and don't get sucked in. Quality one on one time and active listening have also really helped my dd feel heard and she is definitely happier and less prone to fits of anger when she feels heard.
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Old 02-07-2014, 11:19 AM
 
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I love One Girl's response! Because I often do the same thing. FWIW, it's not just my girls, but my boys are more moody as teens than they were as children. After a blowup, my kids really benefit from time to themselves. 20 minutes to themselves in their bedrooms often results in a much happier and more reasonable kid.

The one on one time is helpful I think too. Often times, that happens in the car for me. Even the 5 minutes it takes to drop a child off at sports practice is enough to have a quick reaffirming chat.

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Old 02-08-2014, 08:25 AM
 
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OP i found the year before bleeding began was a huge stage for dd. 

 

the most important thing i tell other moms is take care of yourself. even more care of yourself so you wont feel so frustrated. 

 

i did a lot of self care. which allowed me not to get that upset with dd. 

 

pps have already given you an action plan. its the plan i have used too. 

 

however once her periods began she settled down and that phase went away. 

 

she was horrible though. mean words to friends. to mom. more as a hitting out. afterwards she was very apologetic - but she also warned everyone around you that the best thing to do was to leave her alone - because she could not control her actions. 

 

some of her friends would follow her to her room and hang out trying to make dd feel better. and i would hear dd scream - please leave me a lone. i dont want to hurt you with my words, but if you continue staying here that's what's going to happen. 


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