Shy 10-year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 05-06-2014, 10:46 AM - Thread Starter
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My eldest DS who turned 10 in December last has suddenly become shy in dealing with girls. He is in a exclusively boys school. Until a few months back he mixed up with boys and girls and played with them, but of late he avoids girls. Once or twice I have seen him stammering and getting nervous when talking to a pair of girls. Once he told me that the girls are different and have different tastes than boys and hence he prefers to spend time with the boys. He tries to avoid even girl cousins and relations. Is this a normal and a passing phase? My DH says that it would automatically get corrected in due course and no parental intervention is called for at this stage. Any views, Mamas?

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#2 of 3 Old 05-06-2014, 12:33 PM
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It's normal. Girls can be pretty intimidating to boys in those middle years.They tend to mature earlier. The 10-year-old boy can still be very much a "little kid" while the 10-year-old girl can be developing and taking interest in "relationship" behavior and chatter. Boys can feel pressured to move into this world before they are ready and and under the microscope in everything they do or say around girls. I know my own son was frustrated in the behavior change of his female friends starting about that age. Suddenly they were always asking "who do you like" and teasing him. He'd wear a new shirt and they'd all comment and make him feel self-conscience. It was unwanted attention that he was not developmentally ready for. At 10, he'd get downright angry at them. At 13, he rolls his eyes and ignores the obnoxious ones but manages to have some female friends that are "OK" in a groups setting. In a couple years, he'll likely be comfortable again.


I agree with your husband. It'll pass. 

Married mom of two, DD 17 and DS 13.
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#3 of 3 Old 05-19-2014, 04:21 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for your comment. It takes away my anxiety the way you have explained.

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