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-   -   I'm concerned about my daughter? (http://www.mothering.com/forum/39-preteens-teens/1401627-i-m-concerned-about-my-daughter.html)

JennaPatterson 05-07-2014 10:25 AM

Hello, there. :) 

I've been noticing a few areas of my 14 y/o daughters personality, that seem sort of odd to me. 
I just wanted to ask this to see if I'm just worrying too much, or if any of you notice anything strange as well..If you do, do you have any Idea what it could be? 
I'll add a list of what I'm talking about

1.Her facial expressions don't match her emotions. 
2. She can't make eye contact when she's talking to people. 
3.It's very hard for her to make friends, or start a conversation. 
4. There's a delay for her to reply to you 
5.When she hears something, she'll repeat it a couple times. 
6.Rocks back and forth or side to side. 
7. NEEDS to do things the same way over and over. 
8. Sometimes she won't get a joke until way later than the rest of us, or she won't understand when someone is using sarcasm. 
9. Takes expressions literally sometimes. 
10.If she burns herself with a straightener, she won't even flinch. She'll just continue on as normal. 
11. When we're in the car, and the music plays at a level that's sort of quiet, she'll cover her ears and say it's too loud. 

She'll also have other strange little habits. She'll be staring into space rocking back and forth and fiddling with something. I always see her do this. 

12. I don't know if this could have anything to do with it, or if it even matters, but she's very uncoordinated and clumsy. 
13. Likes doing things on her own, as apposed to doing things with others. (Friends, or family.) 

14. She has trouble following verbal instructions.

15. She can't explain throughly what she wants and it seems, like she expects us to know what she wants without having to tell us.

16.She can't stand being hugged, or tapped on the shoulder.

17.When we call her, she's unresponsive sometimes

 

 

 

 

 

She overall just seems to be in her own world most of the time.

 

I don't know if I'm just being a nervous mother or  not..So if you have any idea what this could be, please let me know. Thanks! :)

 

 

 

EDIT:

 

Actually, yes. Others have noticed her behaviours..And thank you for mentioning the obsessive thing!! She has ALL OCD symptoms (Except superstitious thoughts.), and these do affect her life. She'll have to arrange things perfectly, wash her hands for up to 260 seconds! Her hands bleed because of this...These symptoms have been there for a long time...I feel stupid that I never thought these two issues could be connected! Also, she has some ADHD like symptoms...I'll add all this to the current thread, and then make another post asking specifically about Aspergers. Everyone has mentioned that in the comments. I never even thought it could be something on the autism spectrum.

.


Shakti77 05-07-2014 10:37 AM

Some of the symptoms seem like Aspergers to me (not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV)

quirkylayne 05-07-2014 06:21 PM

I would take her for a professional evaluation if you feel these things are an issue. I assume you do since you are posting here. I would agree that the combination of what you have posted is out of the ordinary.

She may fall under a larger diagnosis like aspergers or she may have a combination of a few issues like sensory issues and auditory processing disorder.


moominmamma 05-07-2014 08:15 PM

Is this stuff new? Or is it how she has always been? The possible explanations vary a lot depending on the time-line. Also, have any of her teachers / coaches / mentors picked up on any of these things? Has anyone else, anyone who knows her fairly well and sees her out and about, in the company of other kids her age, ever expressed any of the concerns you're feeling?

 

If it's mostly evolved over the last couple of years, I'd worry about mental health issues. If she's been like this pretty much since birth, I'd wonder about the Asperger's spectrum. Depending on how she copes in social environments, and on whether things are improving as she gets older, it could be that she's just a quirky kid with a rich inner life.

 

I have a dd who was stubborn, obsessive, shy, solitary, didn't like being touched, took a long time to make friends and had her own odd little ways of doing things. She had a bit of sensory oversensitivity, most evident when she was young but mostly she was just a bit quirky. As she got older she got better at social skills and her sensory coping mechanisms improved. By the time she was in her early teens she was still her quirky self at home but the other adults and friends in her life would simply have described her as being a bit quiet, or a wee bit shy.

 

Personally if I was concerned I would find someone to talk all this over with: either someone like a teacher who knows her well, or your family doctor or pediatrician. Then I'd take it from there, depending on what they said.

 

Miranda


JennaPatterson 05-07-2014 10:27 PM

Actually, yes. Others have noticed her behaviours..And thank you for mentioning the obsessive thing!! She has ALL OCD symptoms (Except superstitious thoughts.), and these do affect her life. She'll have to arrange things perfectly, wash her hands for up to 260 seconds! Her hands bleed because of this...These symptoms have been there for a long time...I feel stupid that I never thought these two issues could be connected! Also, she has some ADHD like symptoms...I'll add all this to the current thread, and then make another post asking specifically about Aspergers. Everyone has mentioned that in the comments. I never even thought it could be something on the autism spectrum.


mar123 05-08-2014 09:25 AM

My son has Aspergers, and the social issues describe him to a T. He is now 18, but we had his diagnosis in 3rd grade. He is MUCH better than he used to be, but still struggles with making friends. For example, prom is tomorrow night and he and his date (a girl he has known since Kindergarten) are going alone to dinner instead of with a group- because he couldn't find one. Makes me sad, but really doesn't bother him.  And he's more excited about prom fest than prom, LOL.


KimPossible129 05-23-2014 12:19 PM

My daughter went through some significant OCD symptoms three years ago (she is 14, was 10-11 at the time).  She exhibited some of the symptoms you mentioned.  She was in therapy for quite a few months (actually over a year) and was on medication.  It helped!!  It seems that is creeping its way back into our lives, and we're trying to get it taken care of (we decided to go off the meds, since things were going well).  I feel your pain- it was very tough to watch her suffer, and succumb to certain habits, when she was 'perfectly normal' before that. 

 

Some of the symptoms you mention seem to suggest to me that it may be something more.  There could be a neurological issue going on.  Sure, the lack of focus and delayed responses do sound like Autism-Like symptoms, but it seems rather late in her development for them to be occurring.  I would definitely consult a pediatric neurologist.  They could rule out if there is a physiological reason for this, or is it behavioral.  



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