My oldest is only 9, but this thread has made me think about how, as a mother, i can best ensure his interests are taken care of when he becomes sexually active. Respecting privacy and autonomy are only the first part of the equation. I will *want* to know if he is happy, practising safe sex, being used/manipulated, or in a healthy loving relationship. I want to be in a position where i can advise, and without knowing all the details, that everything is ok for him.
This is a difficult balancing act for a parent to achieve (yet more challenges ahead i see. This job is so very challenging!!!)
I hope that as we speak i am mothering in a way that builds trust, because that is the only way i see both his needs for autonomy and mine for being an effective parent, are met.
Looking back, i would have felt very embarassed talking to my own parents about my sex life. I wonder if that was how i was raised (cultural), and whether it is possible to be open about sex with one's parents?
As it is, we talk openly about the body, using correct terminology have books about reproduction lying around (which my 9yo has read voraciously)
I dont mean to highjack the thread, but see this as relevant insofar as it speaks to the 'prevention' versus the 'cure' aspect of the dilemma.