Originally Posted by BlessedOne
I understand what you are saying, but I think the biggest way to prevent such things are to not allow for things that put them in a scenario where sex would likely happen. For instance, I don't plan to allow my kids to go on dates by themselves. They can group date with trusted friends or family but alone time with their boyfriend/girlfriend wouldn't be allowed.
You have a lot in common with my mother. She was also a teen mother, and she was also committed to making sure that my sister and I did not have sex. My parents were against all dating. (Which is what my father beat up for, BTW, not sex).
My sister has serious mental health issue and is sexually dysfunctional.
I left home at 18 and didn't speak to my parents for years. We have a very distant relationship now.
One of the many things I learned from their approach is that I ruined their lives, and that the state of my vagina was more important to them than anything else going on with me.
I still have trouble accepting that my DH, who I've been with for 20 years, loves me unconditionally because my parent never did. They never wanted me, they made it clear that I ruined their lives, and they made what little positive feedback I got from them very conditional.
So I do things very differently with my own kids.
I believe that having a baby before one is truly ready makes life different than it would have been, and more difficult. But a new human being is completely incapable of RUINING anyone's live. Our lives are what we make them and how we face the challenges that come our way. Difficulties can bring out the best in people.
I focus on teaching my kids to make their choices on what they feel will serve them best in the long run, and accepting responsibility for their decisions. I'm not trying to control them, I'm trying to teach them how to be competent adults.
BTW, I think it sounds like the OPer raised her son to be a good man, to be caring and responsible.