Anyone else had to ban kid from school residential trips? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 08-25-2014, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
Cavy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Norfolk, UK
Posts: 444
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Anyone else had to ban kid from school residential trips?

10yo DS has emotional & behavioural problems. These trips have behaviour codes he can't abide by (he thinks he can, but I know he can't). His current & future schools offer 2-4 night residential trips but I didn't let him go this yr because of his problems and I imagine I won't consider it for almost 3 more yrs. I've tried to explain why gently to him, that it's not a punishment, but he's still not happy (understandably.

I just wondered if anyone else had had the same problem and how did you muddle thru? Thx In Advance.

~ Yank Transplant to Britain and Zookeeper of 4 DC age 15 and under. ~
Cavy is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 7 Old 08-26-2014, 05:26 AM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
Would you be able to afford to go as an accompanying parent?

That's what some parents have done at our school.
meemee is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 08-27-2014, 11:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
Cavy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Norfolk, UK
Posts: 444
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
Would you be able to afford to go as an accompanying parent?

That's what some parents have done at our school.
That's a good suggestion. I don't know that school would allow it; set a precedent for all the over-protective parents. And it doesn't mean a good outcome because DS c/would still end up having melt-downs and miss out participating in activities with all the others. School would argue "Why don't you take a separate family holiday instead at same venue another date?"

I had come around to thinking that I would make it up to DS in 2 ways: 1) a sleepover with friends talking up how this would be better than a trip with bossy adults he doesn't like and likely room-mates he doesn't like; and 2) some extra cash for his birthday.

Still, thanks for the idea. I'll mull it over.

~ Yank Transplant to Britain and Zookeeper of 4 DC age 15 and under. ~
Cavy is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 08-27-2014, 02:42 PM
 
Linda on the move's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
Posts: 10,612
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 82 Post(s)
Does he have a diagnosis that relates to his behavior? Does he have an IEP?

If so, you could make a case that they can't exclude him, that they have to make reasonable accommodations.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

Linda on the move is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 08-28-2014, 10:32 AM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
cavy i see that you are in britain.

dont they have parent chaperones?

here in the US there is always a bunch of parents who go to help volunteer. and some go to help their kids.

you will be surprised what 10 year olds go thru.

when i went with my dd, we got a bunch of instructions and specific special needs instructions. we had to keep our eyes out for those kids - but it had to be strictly confidential. parents knew that those parents in charge would be privvy to the information. some were still bedwetters, some needed help being put to bed (tuck in time), some had emotional issues.

i would imagine if you dont have parent volunteers accompanying the kids it would be odd for you to show up. if your son does not mind i think you can give it a try. if you are introduced the right way there should be no strangeness.

could you send your son with the school. and then if something came up they could call you and you could go pick him up? so at least you guys gave it a try. unless your son does not want to go to the trip at all. or the trip is hours, and hours away.

 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 09-18-2014, 05:38 AM
 
LaughingHyena's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 2,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I've not had to cross this bridge quite yet, but I expect I may well be in a similar position this time next year. My children's school do a 2 night trip and if my youngest does go he's likely to need a significant amount of support for it to work. One of those occasions where it's handy to have had my eldest do the same trip already so I have a better idea of where issues may crop up.

I'm also in the UK and while it is common here to have parents coming along to help out on day trips from school I've not really come across it for overnight ones. I have heard from a couple parents who've accompanied their child with special needs though so it's certainly not impossible. I've also known a few families who have taken their child along for each day of the trip but brought them home to sleep.

Have you discussed it with the school at all? Did they have any suggestions, both in terms of your son going on the trip or indeed what they plan to do with him while the rest of his class are out?
LaughingHyena is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 09-18-2014, 06:59 PM
 
Viola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Nevada
Posts: 22,544
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
How far away are the trips? If he did not adhere to the behavior codes, would you have to go get him? We don't really have trips like this in our school, but my older daughter got to take an overnight camping trip with her 4th grade class, and parent volunteers did have to go. If there had been a problem though, it was a bit of a drive and I wouldn't have easily been able to get her.

If he believes he could adhere to the codes, and you let him go, could you stay nearby and get him if there was a problem? Then he might better understand the level of behavior required and why it is hard for him, and what his limits are.
Viola is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off