I remember the friends my mother did not like. One in particular stands out. I felt her reasons were pretty superficial. Her family had money, and I felt like that made my mother uncomfortable. Her family was very good to me; I went to my first concert with her and her mother. Not that we couldn't afford concerts, but that wasn't my mom's thing (it IS my thing with my DD, and I have been that mom who has taken her friends along, and we are not rich!). They had a summer house, I went with them for a few days at least once. I recall going shopping with her and her mom, and the mom treated me to a really nice, named brand top- one that was about $40 in 1986
This was right after our 6th grade graduation, and her mom said this is a gift. The mom was "cool" I guess, but not a bad mother at all- had a husband, another child, worked (her family owned a business and yes the mother contributed). Never saw her drink, smoke, didn't party, etc. a family woman who just enjoyed doing things with her kids.
The child was a bit outspoken, but absolutely not rude or disrespectful in any way. She had a fun personality. I can attest that she NEVER did anything questionable when we were friends (she switched schools in 8th grade). She was semi-boy crazy, but was not acting on it in any way. I guess my mom just thought she should be more prim and proper for a girl with means, lol (my mom is very big on appearances, and she did get a wacky haircut in jhs).
Anyway, it bothered me that she didn't "care for" my friend. She didn't stop me from hanging out with her, but I knew it wasn't her first choice of friends.
My dd14 and I have a pretty open relationship so far. She has already told me about people who she doesn't like in her new HS, the "bad girls" as she put it (girls who are trying to attract boys in certain ways she would t consider). When we are at camp (where I am The nurse) I see who she gravitates towards and away from. She tried very hard to be part of the "in crowd" who were just plain mean back in (private, catholic) elementary school. She was burned a few times. I was actually equally duped by one, who I had coined as one of her nicest friends, turned out to be a (insert expletive here). I never forced the friendship though (she lived kind of far, and her mother was always late picking her up). So there, I liked and approved of the kid, and was wrong!
The other thing I am trying to wrap my finger around now, is that I will not know all of her friends now that the social and geographic circle has expanded. She goes to a special HS where kids come from all neighborhoods. But she has been very open about sharing who her new friends are, showing me pics, their Instagram pages (I snoop anyway), and she talks about them a lot. I just keep on listening and gathering data in my head