I have a 14 year old. Or, to be more specific, my fiance has a 14 year old. She's a bit of a wild child, likes to push the limits of what she can get away with.
I honestly don't think teenagers should be having sex, but that being said, I know that it's gonna happen, so for the most part, I try to have a more open mind. My fiance is from a very Christian upbringing- no child of his is gonna have sex outside of marriage!!!
However, my stepdaughter and her boyfriend have been flirting around the idea of having sex for about a month. My fiance found the texts- some of the readings were quite... adventurous.
My stepdaughter will do anything to please her boyfriend. She's not emotionally ready for sex and she really hasn't thought through what would happen if she got pregnant, etc. She's overly knowledgeable about some areas of sex, and extremely naiive about other areas of sex. And apparently she has some odd ideas on birth control that she needs to be enlightened about.
In short, it would be disastrous if my stepdaughter were to have sex now, both for her mental health and for the entire family if she ended up pregnant. I can't go into many details on here, but take my word for it- it would be a very bad idea at this time. Lots of extremely low self esteem, lots of Depression, even some self harm.
How can we avoid this happening as best we can? She won't talk to my fiance about it because he's pretty much implied that he will disown her if she has sex. While I don't agree with his thinking, obviously I can't go against him and hand her a packet of condoms without a major blowup. We avoid letting her alone with her boyfriend unless it's a public place, but I know that's not surefire- when there's a will, there's a way- I lost my virginity while skipping class during school hours. And this is one area I CANNOT talk to my fiance about, one area he will NOT budge on under any circumstances. It actually may be one of the two altercations that could cause a breakup between me and my fiance if I pushed too hard on his daughter's "side" (the other being religion- he has the same views on Christianity, as she's recently begun to question her Faith, with extremely negative reactions from her Dad).
How best for me to keep my 14 year old out of trouble? Besides try to talk to her and give her the knowledge on things- I'm working on that, but nothing so far. Suggestions? Anything I'm missing here?
I honestly don't think teenagers should be having sex, but that being said, I know that it's gonna happen, so for the most part, I try to have a more open mind. My fiance is from a very Christian upbringing- no child of his is gonna have sex outside of marriage!!!
However, my stepdaughter and her boyfriend have been flirting around the idea of having sex for about a month. My fiance found the texts- some of the readings were quite... adventurous.
My stepdaughter will do anything to please her boyfriend. She's not emotionally ready for sex and she really hasn't thought through what would happen if she got pregnant, etc. She's overly knowledgeable about some areas of sex, and extremely naiive about other areas of sex. And apparently she has some odd ideas on birth control that she needs to be enlightened about.
In short, it would be disastrous if my stepdaughter were to have sex now, both for her mental health and for the entire family if she ended up pregnant. I can't go into many details on here, but take my word for it- it would be a very bad idea at this time. Lots of extremely low self esteem, lots of Depression, even some self harm.
How can we avoid this happening as best we can? She won't talk to my fiance about it because he's pretty much implied that he will disown her if she has sex. While I don't agree with his thinking, obviously I can't go against him and hand her a packet of condoms without a major blowup. We avoid letting her alone with her boyfriend unless it's a public place, but I know that's not surefire- when there's a will, there's a way- I lost my virginity while skipping class during school hours. And this is one area I CANNOT talk to my fiance about, one area he will NOT budge on under any circumstances. It actually may be one of the two altercations that could cause a breakup between me and my fiance if I pushed too hard on his daughter's "side" (the other being religion- he has the same views on Christianity, as she's recently begun to question her Faith, with extremely negative reactions from her Dad).
How best for me to keep my 14 year old out of trouble? Besides try to talk to her and give her the knowledge on things- I'm working on that, but nothing so far. Suggestions? Anything I'm missing here?