teen drinking - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 05-29-2004, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
babyluvr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: green pastures next to the still waters
Posts: 400
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
okay, my little ones are a long way off from teenage years, but i was wondering how other ap parents approach drinking as a teen...my own brother had some alcohol issues as a teen and I would like to avoid a repeat in our family...what do you do?
babyluvr is offline  
#2 of 8 Old 05-30-2004, 12:33 AM
 
CincoDeMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 252
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my approach is a little different than most (ok, a lot different, lol). i'll allow drinking in moderation-with moderation being the key word. i think this will enable my teen to do most, if not all of his alcohol experimentation in the safety of our home, until he understands his limits, and what effect drinking has on him.

i wasn't allowed to drink at all, and was getting loaded by 13yo. i vowed to not make it taboo with my kids, and i've done that
CincoDeMama is offline  
#3 of 8 Old 05-31-2004, 10:19 AM
 
Valerie.Qc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in my own pants
Posts: 2,566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Alcool is not a taboo here, we always have been open about drinking... good and bad sides are exposed and responsible drinking have been discussed. (we have alcoolics in extended family)

My dd is 13 and not interested at all in alcoolic beverages - she tried a sip of beer and dislike the taste, will taste my wine if we buy a new one but she can't stand the taste. (ds, 6yo, also taste... or dip his lip in our glass, and wonder how we can enjoy this :LOL ) Both kids prefer fruit juices mixed with carbonated water Dd like Coolers tho, but I make sure they are *desalcoolized*?? (0.5%) those drinks can be dangerous as they taste almost like juices!!

I can't predict the future but I surely hope my relation with dd will remain open about alcool as her teenages pass by.

Valérie   
Valerie.Qc is offline  
#4 of 8 Old 05-31-2004, 12:48 PM
 
mocha09's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think the approach can vary widely depending on your family history and genetic factors.

My dd's dad is Native American, and he has the ability to drink huge amounts without getting sick (he's an alcoholic). Dd, in all likelihood, inherited this gene, which makes drinking very dangerous for her. There is a lot of alcoholism in other members of the family, as well.

Alcohol is poisonous to her, mostly because of her genetic heritage, but also becuase of her family history. I plan on teaching her that, and will not tolerate her drinking in any form.

If you don't have family hisotry or genetic issues, I guess it's up to each individual to decide what works for their family.
mocha09 is offline  
#5 of 8 Old 05-31-2004, 01:06 PM
 
Colorful~Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Phoenix, Az
Posts: 2,113
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i agree with the other posters. My daughters biological father is/was an alchoholic so I do want to keep that in mind. She is also the most anti-drug teen i've ever met. lol. She's done the DARE program. twice. She is on her dad daily to quit smoking cigarettes (ok, we all are)....

she has done some reading recently for a class project on hemp and is for the legalization of marajuana. She says she woudl be tempted to try pot just to see what the fuss is all about, but she dislikes the fact that you have to smoke it - she is very against smoking anything. Too many relatives have died of lung cancer.

as for drinking - she's turning 15 this fall. She has had sips of wine, beer and wine coolers of different kinds. She has had champagne at weddings. I'm really trying not to make a big deal out of it. We've discussed the concept of everything in moderation. She sees our family have wine with dinner and not get 'drunk' or 'wasted'.

Quote:
wasn't allowed to drink at all, and was getting loaded by 13yo. i vowed to not make it taboo with my kids, and i've done that
I could've written this.
I've also made it a point to discuss alchohol and drugs with my daughter openly and honestly. She understands that her bio father was an alcoholic and that she will need to make careful choices.

My daughter is turning 15 and I know we're in for alot of issues over the next few years. I just really hope and pray that our open relationship - the fact that we talk about absolutely everything, will help us get thru it.
Colorful~Mama is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 06-03-2004, 07:37 AM
Red
 
Red's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: at my keyboard, writing my novel.
Posts: 4,485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think making anything taboo is dangerous. How exciting something is once we know we aren;t allowed it!

All the men in my extended family are alcoholics, as are my dh's family. We drink in moderation. Wine with dinner, or a cold beer at the BBQ. My kids know that you can enjoy an alcoholic drink for the taste, or you can get a buzz or you can make a fool of yourself. They've tasted my wine, beer, etc. They find it tastes gross...as did most of us when we were young.

My eldest was home last summer and decided to go out 'partying' with MY old group of party friends. I **** hang with a few of them, but my party days are behind me (I've known these people since HS). I warned her that these people were heavy drinkers and that she'd have to be careful.

Ahh, she laughed and laughed. Whatdid I take her for? A kid? SHe lives out of state and drinks at parties etc. She told me I had no idea how much she could drink.

The next day my friend returned with my daughter. She was laying down in the car, sick. We were camping, so the friend took her to her house and kept her all day. DD told me afterwards that she had never seen people drink like that, and that she'd never been so sick. (these old friends also mentioned that she spent most of the party lying on the floor, moaning.

Now she wants to know how I ever managed to hang out with these people! (Hmm, no one forced the booze down my throat! I just didn't drink like them. )
What that had to do with anything, I'm not sure!

Anyway, I allow my kids to see and try alcohol. It's not some mystery liquid that can make them popular or pretty. We talk often about date rape, girls getting to drunk to know if they mean yes or no, dates getting too drunk to care.

But the drinking age is 21. I'm clear about the fact that undergae drinking, outside with friends , etc, is a big no-no. Being 18, and having a few while you watch the game, or whatever, at thome, is ok. Being 16 and doing the same thing, isn't such a great idea. 16 yo are immortal! They never believe they'll be caught or hurt anyone. And they aren't always clear about how importatn it is to be cool. And they want to drink with friends, not alone with mum and dad. It's a fine line.

And now for a reality check-in....How am I doind with the finished product? 1 in each camp. My dd is an occassional drinker. My son is drinking wayyyy too much.

You do your best. It goes the way it goes!
Red is offline  
#7 of 8 Old 06-04-2004, 08:07 AM
 
idaismyname's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Kentucky GO CATS!
Posts: 103
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have already talked to my 8 year old about alcohol.
I don't believe drinking is necessarily the major problem, but what one does while drinking. She's seen the news where a 17 year old had 3 beers got into a car and killed a newborn baby.
We talked about how a persons body loses the ability to reason clearly when drinking too much.
Although this sounds extreme it can happen, like so many other things.
I will not make drinking taboo. However, I will discuss often - moderation.
I didn't drink til I was in college, and even then it wasn't too often.
We have talked about it often. I'm not trying to brainwash her, just give her all the facts. I hope she doesn't drink at least until after high school, but if she does I know at least we've had many discussions on the topic. I am realistic and know how many kids do drink and drink a lot. I guess we do what we can do.
idaismyname is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 06-08-2004, 10:44 PM
 
GoodFairy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My father was an alchoholic and I hate drinking and drunk people as a result.

My DD (17) and DS's (15) father lets them have drinks at his place when they are visiting and I've told him I disagree with that but cannot stop it. (We are both divorced and remarried)

The kids know that the law says 18 and I won't buy or sanction drinking for them until then. I've done the explanation thing - about what alchol can do and how moderation is important when the time comes.

There are very few things in life I'm immovable on but this is one of them.

Too many bad memories of a drunken father I guess.
GoodFairy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off